Christmas was nice now comes the crazy

FDH bought SS10 and BS STB 14 rifles for Christmas. He did not consult myself or BM before doing so. I responded by confiscating BS's rifle, the bullets and advising BS will have to attend a local youth gun safety class before I will consider allowing FDH to take him to the shooting range.
BM responded by coming to our house, yelling at FDH then turning to me and screaming that I should know better as a mother! Then she called the police from our driveway to report we were endangering children. The police came, verified that the rifles are stored properly and can't be accessed by the children w/o adult supervision, then told her it's legal for a parent buy a rifle for their child as long as the kid doesn't have access to the weapon w/o supervision.
I can understand where she's coming from a little because I was caught off guard too, but damn! Why is she such a nutjob? And why am I always the scapegoat for everything?

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I suppose I should be

I suppose I should be charitable and consider it a compliment that she does expect more of me. However, I had nothing to do with it!

Yeah I am annoyed with FDH

Yeah I am annoyed with FDH too but BM dragging me into her drama is directing my annoyance away from FDH and toward her.

I get that she was surprised

I get that she was surprised and obviously disagrees with FDH's decision on when their son should get his first gun. However, I had nothing to do with it.
Also, FDH has guns,he keeps them properly stored in a gun safe. FDH had guns when they were married, so BM already knows FDH is responsible with guns and that they are in the house. The only new part is that he got them for the kids, which he DEFINITELY should have discussed with both BM and myself BEFORE giving them to the kids.
However, I think we both knew he would eventually want to share his hobby with the boys. It just bugs me that she was so over the top with dragging me and the cops into it. She has been in our house, had she asked she would have been allowed to go see the guns. I'm torn cause I am not happy with FDH but all that was just unnecessary drama!

Yep no doubt he should have

Yep no doubt he should have talked to both you and bm before buying a gun especially since he was marred to her and knows how she feels about guns. I say this b/c my brothers ex and him were married for 10 years and they know each other and know that buying a gun for one of their kids isn't a big deal so no need to talk to each other. But see that is the point your dh most likely KNEW that his ex would throw a fit but did it anyway.

I do think she should have thought before saying anything to you but she may not have been thinking clearly given that she just found out her 10 year old has a gun. Try to let this go I'm sure she was very upset given all the shooting happening lately. I can't blame her feeling the way she felt.

Looks like we posted at the

Looks like we posted at the same moment!
I agree with you that he should have talked to both of us, but BM knows he is responsible with guns. She didn't need to call the cops.
And you are right, he probably didn't ask her cause he knew what she would say. They have an ongoing disagreement on how to raise their son. FDH flat out told her in front of me once that she needs to stop babying SS10 and let FDH teach him how to be a man. FDH went on to say that SS10 will be expected to defend himself and one day his family so BM needs to stop telling SS10 to hide behind her skirts.
BUT a gun is a big deal that should be mutually agreed on. So BM has reason to be mad. Like I said, I'm torn and happy to stay out of it. I wish BM had left me and the police out of it as well.

Yes BS13 stb 14 in 2 weeks is

Yes BS13 stb 14 in 2 weeks is my son. However, FDH and I have been together 5 and 1/2 years and BS's father has no contact with him at all. So FDH tends to consider himself BS13's father and I am okay with that for the most part.
FDH doesn't understand what all the fuss is about. He sees nothing wrong with teaching the boys how to handle weapons. FDH is very old school in that he expects men to be the protectors and providers. It bugs him to no end that I make so much more money than he does but there's not much he can do about it.
BM is very protective of SS10 and has anxiety issues in general. So she tends to warn SS10 about every possible danger so much so that the kid literally won't to walk through the mall unless he's holding your hand for fear of being kidnapped. It drives FDH crazy. FDH believes that there is a "pussification of America" that is occurring due to the overprotectiveness of today's parents and even some school policies.
I fall in the middle. I teach my son what the dangers are and to be alert, but I do allow him to go places and have experiences. I do not keep BS13 stb 14 under lock and key.

I think he was wrong not to

I think he was wrong not to tell YOU he was getting a gun for your kid. But he had no obligation to tell BM jack. He sounds like he knows guns and is safe with them so I see nothing wrong with him getting the boys guns. EXCEPT he did not discuss it with you first.

Had FDH discussed it with me

Had FDH discussed it with me first, I may have had a different reaction due to having time to get used to the idea. I am not opposed to guns in general it just makes me nervous to think about my kid having one. In a way it feels like when some people find out their teens are having sex....I knew it was gonna happen eventually but this just seems too soon, lol!