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A different step story? I'm sad, drunk and rambling.

grow-a-nut's picture

I have not told a lot of stories here as I still am furious over most of the hell I lived through with Spineless Wonder, his kid,SD (29 now) and his mother. But I have not seen any Step Grandma's raising their step kids kids.

The story starts with a very spoilt, entitled, mini-wife. I call her daughter/wife. She was almost 12 when her dad and I started dating. She and I were very close and I did love her once. My husband had been divorced for 8 years and daughter/wife was his whole world. Yes, the earth moved because she was in it. Sound familiar? He had EOE visitation but D/W came and went as she pleased. He paid over and above CS always. He even let his electric get shut off so he could indulge his little princess.

She never worked, did chores, had to share a room or toys. When she would come over to grace him with her presence her things were to be exactly where she dropped them. Except for her trash. I had to remove that. But toys and clothes, wherever she dropped them, that is where they stayed until she came back. She would get into the fridge and ask what happened to whatever was there 2 weeks ago. Like we were supposed to totally stop living while she was not there.

I know this is familiar to a lot of you but I'll get on with my story.

When D/W was 18 she announced that she was pregnant. My heart sank as I knew she would never be mother material. AND she was using drugs at the time. Meth and prescriptions.

She reveled in all the attention she received and said all the right things. I've always been able to see right through her and was never happy for this new baby.

I was at the birth. TONS of drama that day. I fell in love with that beautiful person that would someday call me Nanny. I did all the Grandma things and was happy to because I loved this child with all of my being just like my own blood.

FF to baby being 6 weeks old. SW (Spineless Wonder) and I were driving through town on the way home and saw D/W's car at the bar. I demanded he pull over as I knew she had that precious baby in that bar. As I suspected she was. I saw the carseat on top of the bar and my SD no where to be found. (I always figured she was blowing some guy in the bathroom) I picked up the carseat and told the bartender that if the mother came back to tell her the baby could be picked up at the grandparents but we were taking her out of there. He didn't even try to stop me. SD picked her up 6 months later. I'm not kidding.

That was a pattern for the next 10 years. Every six months SD would get overwhelmed and give the child to us. But would get mad at me and rip that baby back.

My precious granddaughter was dropped for the last time on my doorstep after Christmas break 2 years ago. She had no clothes, no school supplies, nothing. We had her almost a year that time. AND SD had promised us that we could adopt the grand so we could give her stability. Of course all that was a lie because as soon as I applied for food stamps and TANF for the grand, SD ripped her away from us for good because social services tried to get child support out of SD. I never saw my sweet granddaughter again.

So with all that I miss my sweet Mikayla with all my heart. She was my child. I was forced to bond with her in an unnatural way. I had my child ripped from me over and over again. With each time, my heart died a little.

My husband wouldn't stand up to his precious princess and my granddaughter suffered the most. I provided a stable home with plenty of love and attention and my husband would roll over and take whatever his daughter was doling out.

I hate them. Him and SD. I truly feel like I was this little girls only chance at a decent life. I miss her so much that I hurt physically. I guess I will wait until she has a FB (Hopefully she will find me).

I have turned into a cold bitch. Love hurts too much to give. I want my baby back.

Comments

grow-a-nut's picture

Oh she sees Grandpa, every weekend when SD drops the kids off so he can babysit. My husband and I are separated for a year. They are in MO and I am in IL

Most Evil's picture

That is a very sad story and I hate that it happened to you. Sad

I already know I will never be considered a grandma by SD22 when she has kids, so steeling myself for that one.

Are you separated from DH pending a divorce? or is it just temporary necessity to be away?

grow-a-nut's picture

I left my husband on December 14th 2012. He can pay for the divorce. He and his precious princess. They caused it.

I have had no contact with him since early February this year.

Most Evil's picture

Oh gosh. I am so sorry.

What they did to you was horrific.!!

Sometimes I wonder if there are many happy step endings. Sad

Hang in there lady. God has a plan for you. Hugs Smile

omgsaveme's picture

If she is going to go back and forth between her kids life, then she should leave her where she has stability. I am so sorry this has happened to you, would you be able to get her back if you talk to SD and tell her she won't have to pay child support ?

grow-a-nut's picture

Her children are currency. She uses them to get her way. I am so far disengaged and removed that she has probably Pas'd me out.

My only hope is that sweet Mikayla will find me someday on FB. I just hope she remembers me.

farting_glitter's picture

(((hugs))) to you honey...such a sad story...i am sorry for what you have gone through... Sad

grow-a-nut's picture

Thank you everyone! This community is far more supportive than my husband ever was.