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For those who left. What next? What are you doing in your life now?

grow-a-nut's picture

4 more days and I am at my 1 year anniversary of walking out on my hubby. I've been reflecting a lot lately about what the net chapter in my life should be.

Do you date? How long after the split did you start?

I looked at a lot of factors in my recent life and decided dating is not for me at this time. Which leads to the next question, what about sex? Is a FWB relationship ok providing that both parties set ground rules and expectations before a physical relationship starts?

My marriage was sexless for the last 12 years. We were sexless when we married and it stayed that way. I lost all feeling "that way" towards him when I realized he was spineless. It turned me off physically. BUT our marriage was very codependent. I grew balls, he never did. I left and never looked back.

NOW I find that my sex drive has gone through the roof! And I am in a FWB relationship. He is totally the wrong guy for me. I keep him a secret from everyone but my mother. But when I am around him I have full on animal instincts and there is nothing that will stop me from jumping his bones. I don't love him. I like him as a friend and when we see each other in public we are appropriate at all times. We text and talk a lot as friends but the bedroom is another matter. And he leaves. Without mucking up my life and home.

So Ladies and Gents who are single, how is your dating life?

Sorry for the rambling, I was wanting to post this for a while.

Comments

Bossladee's picture

Just wanted to say kudos to you for getting out of an unhappy marriage!! Good for you, that's awesome!

I think you are the best judge of when you feel ready to date seriously again. If you are having fun and feel at peace with being single and enjoying a FWB relationship, then go ahead. It's you're life, you only get one!

stepnicole2010's picture

^^^^^^^this^^^^^^^

Sounds like you're not hurting anyone and having a fun time. You deserve it. No need for anything heavy.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

I walked out from step hell with SO and SD 8 (mini wife) a few month ago and started not very long after actually to date one of my male friends that I know since 8 years. My life has totally changed, new BF has no little kids and there is no "blending" issue anymore in my life.My kids seem to do better in the new situation and never missed SO or that brat that was always telling on them. I was not to sure if things were moving too quickly being in a new rs at first but BF is very understanding that I sometimes still felt sad and confused.Anyway, I would never go back to step hell again and so grateful I got out before I lost my marbles completely.It doesn't harm that new BF is a bit of a prince and treated me for a lovely overseas trip lately and loves to spoil me , which is such a nice thing after all that stress.Plus ex SO was never working properly and that impacted us as well.