I am still trying to wrap my head around this one. PAS occurring from SM, to step kids, against their BF.

DH and I have a friend -- For this post we will call him Tim. Tim has been married three times.

BM1 he has two children with, twin boys, very friendly divorce they simply grew up and grew apart. Boys live with BM,(who makes far more $$ than Tim and BM does not collect CS nor does Tim- and yes the financial gap between them is significant enough she would owe him CS for the 8 days a month he has them), she just asks that he pay for half of anything school related (back to school, band, sports). Boys spend every weekend with dad and he frequently takes them out fishing/hiking etc. Boys graduate HS this June.

BM2 he has one child with, daughter. BM cheated and had a kid while he was deployed… not his kid as Tim and BM are both white, baby is not. After the divorce BM moved out of state and took his daughter. He didn’t have the $$ to fight the move in court so as a result he gets to see his kid four times a year. Daughter is very smart, very articulate, very compassionate teenage girl, most definitely daddy’s princess however is not lodged up the crack of his a$$. Basically any stepmom’s dream of a skid. 4.25 GPA and dreams of being a forensic anthropologist!

Tim recently separated from his third wife. He adopted her daughter a little over a year ago (bio father willing signed paperwork to absolve himself of nearly 60k of cs arrears). Literally 13 months after the adoption became final wife states he is verbally and psychologically abusive and goes to a women’s shelter.

Apparently the abuse claim comes from adoptive daughter showing her a$$ and Tim telling the kid “Stop acting the a$$” when the girl sassed back, Tim fired off the ‘Daddy is not amused and is about to take an action you won’t like” daddy look at her.

So, wife three went to the local abuse shelter, who turned her down stating she and the child were not abused. Tim moved out, not wanting to be accused of something else he did not do. Wife3 then files for CS for the daughter, a protection order (turned down) and demands counseling before Tim can see his kid, and promptly goes nutso.

Example of nutso:
Tim and his kids (both teenage boys and the teenage daughter who is visiting) came over to our house for dinner/ cookout last night. These kids are playing football with my skids and the dads are out there playing ball and grilling, having a blast when anyone gets too hot, dive into the pool. In between they are devouring their weight in burgers and hotdogs.

Tim’s daughter checks her phone about 2 hours after they get to our house and immediately is pissed off. Asks to talk to her dad, who steps aside with her briefly and then returns with her asking me to talk with her. Um… ok… sure. Kid shows me her phone and then the two teenage boys show me theirs.

Text messages, from their step mother, Tim’s wife… repeatedly asking if the kids were ok, safe, is your father treating you right, it’s not right that they have to ‘live in fear’ of him. (Yeah they were so terrified of him they full body tackled dad in the middle of the yard, rough housed in the pool with him and were affectionate (for teenagers) with him… ok.) As I am reading the text messages, another comes in, saying that she KNOWS the kids are with him and should be with HER (not their own mothers – they should be with their step mom?).. visiting their sister… and that if one of the kids does not text her back and let her know they are ok, and that their dad isn’t abusing them or ‘worse’ she is calling the cops to check on them.

Then the adopted daughter starts texting all the kids, saying “daddy is verbally and physically abusive and you should not be around him”.

“Auntie” JHW called stb-xw and told her to knock it the eff off. That all of her text messages were forwarded to email and would be supplied to Tim’s attorney to prove parental alienation not just of their shared child, but all of his children.

Has ANYONE heard of this/ experienced this before… a step mother PASing her skids against her own husband?

BTW: per all three teenagers dad has never laid a hand on them, they cannot even recall spankings as a child. Tim is the lecture, ground and work their butt off during the grounding type of parent. I have known him for six years and have never heard him raise his voice. He is the brutally honest type of personality though, I can see him telling a child to stop acting the ass, fire off a daddy look, or telling his wife- yeah your ass looks big in those jeans (if asked his opinion).