DH has an adult adopted stepdaughter. She's 23 and is his ex wife's daughter from her first hubby (aka sperm donor).. DH adopted her at 3 and raised her as his own.

When he and BM got divorced the daughter took sides with BM - understandably so as that's who most kids are loyal to. She was 17 at the time.

Well, fast forward to when DH and I met. The daughter found out who I was and instantly her and her best friend went nutso. See - I dated a guy much younger than me after my divorce - he was my rebound. Nothing serious as he was 10 years younger - it ended fine. Both kinda knew it wasn't either of our happily ever afters and that was that.

Well.. it just so happened that this rebound went on to date DH's daughters best friend.. bear in mind it was almost a year between when he and I called it quits and DH and I met.

Anyways.. the daughter and psycho buddy instantly began making up lies about me and tried to make everyone hate me.. including DH. Thankfully he didn't listen to her shit.

So, I tried to be the better person and ignored all of it and was just gracious when I would see her.. even invited her to a waterpark for fathers day with DH, myself and her two brothers.. disaster - she proceeded to get "pilled out" - or at least that's what it appeared like to me (and it is well known she smokes weed and pops pills) and talk shit about her dad to me when I was alone with her. I told her I didn't want to hear it, please, and can we talk about something else.. Later that night I filled DH in with what she said as I felt he had a right to know..

All throughout DH and I's relationship, she never would try to be a part of our family - even when we got 85% custody of the boys she wouldn't come over and visit them or her dad. Not on birthdays or fathers day - not even call .. only would come over when DH's parents would come down to visit. Why? to get them to give her money. Every time they came down, she would invite herself over, not talk to DH or I and only to his parents.. then she would get grandpa to take her to the store or whatever and go to the ATM and get money from him.

I never said anything - even though I thought it was rude, it wasn't my place. They love their grand daughter and want to see her.. if they want to give her money it's none of my business.

Sure, it bothered the hell out of me that she was in my home and had never acknowledged or apologized for the nasty things she said about me and DH.. but she isn't my kid and I only see her a few times a year.

Then recently she really got evil.. See, the skids slipped up and I found out that they had watched "Ted" and "Identity Theft" with her - unrated bootleg versions. As well as a lot of other inappropriate things she exposed them to when they would go stay at their moms and mom and new hubby would go out (to swingers parties till 5am) and leave the kids home with the older daughter.

I told DH about this - not to get back at the daughter, but for him to address it with BM and put an end to it. Well, of course, he mishandled it and the daughter found out I was the source and immediately went trailer trash on me. Sent me texts calling me everything and anything she could conjure up.

I let it all pass and as usual, said nothing as I knew we had the kids best interests in mind and that's what mattered.

Then a few months ago, my friends somehow saw my name popping up on twitter.. I don't tweet, so I was oblivious to this whole thing.. she was posting my name and a lot of lies out there for I guess the world to see.

This was before and after we threw her a huge graduation party this past spring and she had the nerve to bitch about us only being able to give her 100 in addition to the awesome party we threw for her..

That's when I was like "nope - done."

I told DH, she will not step foot in this house again and I don't want to be near her. She owes me several apologies for all her crap over the past 4 years..

I also called DH's mom and told her what was going on and that I'm sorry it's come to this but, unfortunately I need to take a stand at some point.

MIL agreed that I have a right to be pissed and she offered to try to reason with the daughter..

She told her pretty much that she owes me an apology and her behavior is wrong - all of it - and if she wants to enjoy the holidays with them, she needs to have some accountability for what she has done to me and also the things she has said about DH and I.

The daughter responded "I'm over all of it and it's exhausting to hold a grudge.. blah blah blah"...

I'm like WTF? Grudge? For what? What's exhausting? Being a liar and a gossip?
I don't get it... what does she have to "get over?"

So I'm like "uh noooo, not good enough and I hear no apology or accountability".. just excuses and all about her..

Bottom line is, we are supposed to go up to MIL's next week and well, this brat expects to go and quite frankly, if she is there it will be VERY uncomfortable for me as I am on the verge of going off on her ass..