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DH telling skids my buniness

purpledaisies's picture

I got up b/c dad and I are going to a festival but its raining. Anyway I was talking to the skids that I wouldn't be home most of the day as dad and I are spending some time together. and I had a hell of a week.

I was going to leave it there but then both boys said 'we know dad told us even showed us pics' :jawdrop:

I am not too happy I think it should have been my choice and when I was ready. besides now it ill get back to yuck and I can hear it now..."i know how your mom felt I have been there done that' all trying to act like she knows how I feel and understands the situation and all fake sympathetic! so annoyed

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AlreadyGone's picture

It wasn't his news to share and you have a right to feel upset by this. Like you, I always preferred that MY business be kept between xDH and myself. I didn't go telling HIS news to my family. Many times, the SK's would report back to BM and then she would either tell other members of HIS family or email, post on FB, etc. It would drive me insane UNTIL, I made up a big fat lie to share with the SK's about xDH just to prove my point about OUR business being broadcast. After that, he STFU about everything going on.... good or bad. It's sad that I had to resort to this method to get my point across but, sometimes with these wimpy DH's.... a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do, lol.

I will never understand WHY these men feel to need to share EVERY damn aspect of their lives with their kids! Good grief, is there absolutely NO boundary that won't be crossed??? (sic) Sorry, kinda went off on a little rant there, lol. Wink

twoviewpoints's picture

While he had no business doing what he did (he should not be sharing your personal life without your consent and/or allowing you to share your own news), I'll give him one tiny bit of break (very tiny). This has affected him also. He's been with you since the truth came out and he's seen the tailspin and felt the anxiety (anger, fear, excitement, anticipation ect) right alone with you.

I'd hope he didn't do it to be the family busybody, but instead because he felt a need to have someone he could share his emotional week with. Yeah, bad on him but he gets a couple points for spilling to his trusted kids (even if not really trustworthy) than running around at work and/or the local coffee table blabbing and telling the world. You do need to discuss this with him. It's not ok to do what he did. This is your personal life. You are the one and only one who should be sharing this and deciding who you'd like to share it with. He made a decision that wasn't his to make and that part is very wrong. But husband loves you and I doubt he meant to betray nor upset you. He needs to now tell his kids that this is private information and not to share what they know until or if they have your permission to. It's none of BM's business at anytime. Not now. Not ever. It's not a 'secret' so to say, but it simply was not his place nor their place to discuss the news with others. You don't need the extra stress and BS and your personal business is just that, yours and and your personal life is to be respected.

Then feel free to kick his shins. How dare he spread what was not his to share.

purpledaisies's picture

twopines you are right be loves me and has been my rock since this happened. He is the most wonderful man I have ever met. Thank you for that point of view. I will talk to him. He did tell one of my high school friends (he works with him) but I thought he needs someone to talk too so i kinda let it go mainly b/c we both know him and know he wont be telling others. But maybe I should have let him know it did annoy me.