You are here

Who deals with a BM who acts like she is still married to DH?????

Mrs. Why's picture

Not in every sense, but,whom thinks it is still her right to call the shots for DH/SO? It's craziness.

This woman acts like she is the end all be all say all when it comes not only to their kids, but my DH also. It has gotten slightly better with her actions. It used to be every day, any little way she could come up with to control DH like she was still his wife, and calling the shots for his life. Now, the incidents are less, but the attitued is the same.

If ANY situation arises, she acts like DH has no say so, will pretty much blatently ignore him, and act like she is the only one who gets to call the shots. WTF?

She has stalked after his old friends and family, to get close to them.... when she never even talked to them before the divorce. She will disregard DH's rules for the children, try to call the shots on the finances and custody. And, if anyone disagrees with her commands, she bashes them. Making herself a victim of someone who just won't lay down and give her her way.

DH and I laugh about it, but in all honesty, it gets pretty tiring at times. Like, who do you think you are chick? You lost wifey privlidges when you cheated on DH, broke up your family, and filed for divorce.... Isn't that what divorce means..... um, ya don't get all the privlidges of being wifey, calling all the shots, demeaning DH and acting like he is a babysitter there to do your bidding.... If you are DIVORCED. LOL.

Comments

Mrs. Why's picture

At some point, they have to become ashamed of themselves.... right? Like, let go already! Lol

Mrs. Why's picture

I mean DH's life as far as it involves skids.... She used to try to control every little thing in his life using skids, but got her head handed to her also.... Now it's just everything to do with skids.

Disneyfan's picture

Depending on the custody arrangements, it may make sense for BM to control things with the kids.

DF only has SDs6&8 EOWE and all of July. He was PISSED when BM picked the school they would attend with discussing it with him. She's the one who has to deal with the day to day school stuff so it should be her call not his.

oldone's picture

Hopefully the decision on the school would be based on what would be best for the child's education not just the convenience of the parents.

I'm inner city. There are a few fabulous schools and some close to me that are just horrible beyond belief. The % of students who are still alive at 25 is unfortunately way too low at some of these schools.

HungryEyes's picture

Ahem, Do we have the exact same BM?!

I used to be a member of that club. Then, I told fDH that he better get it together and tell her that he's only communicating in regard to their children and their children only. I told him to set some boundaries or find him a woman that would put up with BM's bullshit (AND GOODLUCK!) He asked how to set boundaries. I told him and he followed them. To a science and life got better for both of us. BM still TRIES but she sees the brick wall there now.

Now the family is another story. BM would still go to fMIL if she felt that she was being threatened or if we called her out on her lies. And fMIL would cry to us and beg us to get along 'for the children'. She wouldn't hear our side of the story.

Well fDH sat down with her last week, and filled her in on the 'story of BM' and what REALLY went on in their marriage. How she left him for a married man. How she lies about her kids and their various sickness/allergies to get attention. The terrible things she's done and said to him. The stalking, 100 calls/texts/emails that we had to put a stop to.

Boundaries. Find a man that will put them down for BM or get the hell out.