Blew up at SD in the middle of the night
In my last blog, I mentioned that if during SD's impromptu visit (due to being kicked out of camp) that I heard her start to throw a tantrum or yell or scream at her dad that I was going to be yelling at her myself.
Well, it happened!
Last night at 12:30AM, FDH was still trying to get her to bed. She's supposed to have lights out at midnight on weekends/summer. That is very liberal for a 12-year old but better than when she used to stay up all night here. But we were watching a show and he didn't start telling her to go to bed until it was over at 12:10. Of course, once you tell her, it's always another 20-30 minutes before it happens.
So, she is stalling and goes into the bathroom and is in there for over 10 minutes. He knocks on the door and asks her to hurry up and she whines something back. A couple minutes later, he knocked again, raised his voice and told her to get to bed ASAP. She SCREAMS back at him. And I mean a high-pitched, top of her lungs scream (as usual) saying "Leave me alone!!!" He asked her not to speak to him that way. She did it again! So, from my spot on the couch I yelled "SD, do NOT talk to your father that way. And I have absolutely HAD IT with you screaming in my house!" She shut up immediately and went to bed.
FDH didn't say anything to me about it (he had been warned this would happen) except to make an excuse for her "She has her period. She's probably having issues in the bathroom". I told him I didn't care what her issues were and that she does not need to be screaming at him in our home and I've had it with her.
I normally don't say a word during her blow ups but I've had it. How hard is it to teach her to speak properly and say "Dad, I am having issues. I need a few more minutes of privacy in the bathroom please?" They've taught her to yell and scream as her first response to anything she doesn't want to do. What the heck? Anyway, I don't feel at all bad for it. If she can yell, so can I.
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Comments
Good!
Good!
Well, I've been trying to get
Well, I've been trying to get HIM to stand up to her so I am not always the bad guy. He has gotten better. In the past, he wouldn't have even said a word about how she was speaking to him. Baby steps. But I think my silence appears as compliance. And I will not put up with a freaking 12 year old screaming bloody murder in my house anymore. Simply absurd. I think if he knows I will yell back and won't be as nice as he is about it, he may try to fix this himself so his poor little sweetie doesn't get her widdle feelings hurt by the big bad evil lady.
Good suggestion.
Good suggestion.
I wouldn't abuse my own child
I wouldn't abuse my own child that way and certainly won't be abusing someone else's child like that. Not to mention, she's as big as me so even if I was an abuser, she could fight back. This is just ridiculous. There are other ways to solve this.
What 12 year is going to
What 12 year is going to stand there and allow someone to put soap in their mouth? :?
If you find the odd cookie that would allow it, chances are he/she plans to spit it in your face.
What do you think mom will do to you when she finds out SM put soap in her kid's mouth?
I see your point. And believe
I see your point. And believe me, I don't run around here using the term "my" all the time. The only time I've ever used it before was to say something like "This is my house TOO". When we first moved in together, they treated our home like they had free reign to do whatever they wanted (walking in our bedroom unannounced, using whatever they wanted, etc...) and as if I was a guest in THEIR home. So, it was appropriate. But you are absolutely right about that. No one (them or me) should feel like an outsider. So I will be careful about that in the future. Thank you for your insight.