FMIL am I asking too much???
Yesterday I woke up extremely dizzy.
like dizzy to the point I couldn't get out of bed. I need to go to the bathroom and I was crawling on the floor with the rooms spinning around me. it was all I could do to yell for FSD12 and have her come get my cell phone and call FDH, who is working a state away.
After everything was explained to FDH. He said he would call his mom who lives a mile away and have her come get the kids and get them ready for school. Thankfully I have a smart phone that I can tell it to cal numbers. So I phones in sick to work, and they reminded me that I need a doctors note since I don't have any personal days left. So I call back FDH and say I needs someone to take me to a doctor. He said he completely understood and his mom would be over in a bit.
Time passes and I hear the kids getting ready. I hear a car pull up in the drive and SD 12 yells "bye outsider" and they leave.
FMIL didn't even come inside the house...
More time passes and I really feel bad. I look at the clock and it's11am! My mother calls, really out of the blue, and I explain what is happening...she has medical training and really flips out, trekking me how important it is for me to get to the doctor... (she is a two hour drive away). I tell her FMIL was supposed to come take me, I don't know what's going on.
More time passes. I get a knock at the door and I realize it's locked. I crawl out to unlock the door and it's my mom! From two hours away!... She takes me to the emergency room. And I have a fever of 102. Doctors deem I have an "inner" ear infection that has made my eqilibrium off. He said with how sudden it came on and how sevier it was, I could have lost hearing in my right ear if it was left untreated much longer.....
I explain all this to FDH when he comes home late last night, and all I say is, "I'm hurt that your mom didn't even come in the house to check on me, let alone offer to take me to the hospital..."
FDH response, "I told her you couldn't even get up out of bed"
So this is my rant. Part towards FDH part towards FMIL....
is it really asking too much that since I have NO family close by, and ALL of my friends hold daytime jobs, and FDH was working a state away,.... FMIL couldn't take me to the doctor??
My mother had too drive 2 HOURS to come take.me... When FMIL lives 1 MILE away and DOES NOT HAVE A JOB! and to added on to of that,... She knew that I was so bad I couldn't get up out of bed?!!
An I overreacting?
Because to me it sounds like she just didn't care.
No, it's not asking too much,
No, it's not asking too much, but I think there's some miscommunication going on. I don't see any where in your OP where your FDH said he would ask his mom to take you to the doctor, he just says his mom would be over in a little bit, not "I'll ask her to take you to the doctor."
I know you were really sick, but when your FMIL came and picked the kids up, why didn't you call her or FDH and ask one of them to take you to the doctor? You were able to tell your mom what happened, why didn't you call FMIL yourself and ask her to take you to the doctor?
And when you told FDH about it later, he says "I told her you couldn't even get up out of bed" - so DID he ask his mom to take you or did he just mention how sick you were and expect her to somehow realize she needed to take you to the doctor?
Seems like everyone expects everyone else to be a mind reader.
I was very clear on needing a
I was very clear on needing a doctor....
My original statement still stands,...
FMIL didn't even check on me when she knew I could barely move...
And FDH either did tell her to take me and she didn't, for whatever reason,... Or he didn't stress to her that I needed a doctor,... Either way I'm hurt by both of them...for not caring...
Because FMIL DID KNOW I was sick and couldn't move on my own, but never checked in on me, and FDH DID KNOW I NEEDED A DOCTOR and didn't tell anyone to take me,...or if he did tell his mom and she didn't take me he has not said Anything to her about it!
FDH was working a state away,
FDH was working a state away, 5 hour drive,...
FMIL only has a land line, not cell phone, I did try to call her, she didn't answer,...
Part of my frustration IS that mis communication,...
I was very clear how horrible I felt and that I needed a doctor, and that I could not drive my self.
Yet, either my FDH did not care enough to stress to his mom how much I needed this, or FMIL didn't think it was that bad our didn't care to drive me,... But either way FMIL did not even check on me or come into the house at all
Yeah, I agree if FDH works so
Yeah, I agree if FDH works so far away and you're left with the kids there should be someone else you can contact in case of emergencies.
If FMIL can't be reliable then maybe you should try and find someone at work who would be willing to help you in situations like this. I think everyone should have more than one person that we can call on in case of emergencies - sort of a "don't put your eggs all in one basket" type of philosophy.
I know I can rely on my BF if for some reason I needed a ride to work, but I am also very good friends with my neighbors, a young married couple. My BF sometimes has to travel out of town for work, and I know that I can call either of my neighbors if something was to happen and my BF was out of town.
Okay, thanks for the
Okay, thanks for the explanation.
I would be VERY upset at your FDH that he did not stress to his mom how bad you were and that you needed a ride to the doctor.
I would be hurt that FMIL could pick the kids up, but didn't even bother to check on you, heck, you could have been passed out for all she knew. Is she normally so callous?
FDH should be tearing his mom a new one. At the very least FDH needs to confront his mom and ask her WHY she didn't even bother to check on you.
Your FDH did not call back to
Your FDH did not call back to check on you, either? Like mother, like son, I guess.
FDH did call back to check on
FDH did call back to check on me,... But AFTER MY MOM WAS ALREADY HERE
I'm just at a loss.... Totally and completely,... By yesterday evening I was well enough with meds in me to walk holding onto walls, I still stated home from work today as my temp is still over 100,....
But what's really bad too is FDH said his kids have had inner ear infections and he remembers they were walking like they were drunk and screaming the whole time,....
So,... FDH and FMIL KNOW what the kids went through and how miserable the kids were,...
And doctors even say it's worse for an adult!
Argh!
Why didn't you call an
Why didn't you call an ambulance? I get vertigo all the time. I have had to call an ambulance myself b/c I was alone and had no one to drive me.
Honestly I didn't know that
Honestly I didn't know that much time had passed while I was waiting,... I was just waiting....and trying not to cause further discomfort,... When I saw it was 11am I was shocked,... Then when my mother came, I was shocked she had gown there so quickly....
as a side note we don't have 911 in our area,... I do needs to look up whatever emergency number I needs to call and save it in my phone,....
I do remember FDH saying before when FSD (6 at the time) was hurt that he drove her to the emergency room because there isn't 911, but I didn't think to ask what number to call instead if I ever needed it,... that definately came back to bite me.
Sorry about your ear ! I had
Sorry about your ear ! I had the same thing a few months aho. I couldn't get the room to stop spinning. Oddly enough I went to see the chiropractor when I could drive and he "cracked" my ears for me. It was weird and I felt so much better immediately.
Anyway feel better soon it is miserable being dizzy like that.