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I know I didn't do anything wrong so why do I feel so bad?

smomof2's picture

When I met DH, both kids were sleeping in the bed with him even though they had their own rooms and beds. It was a long process but him and I worked together to get them to sleep in their own beds. For the past two years they sleep in their beds most of the time but sometimes they come into our room in the middle of the night when they can't stay asleep.

SS6 suffered from night terror and so at least once a week or so he used to come to our bed. I never liked it cause he sleeps so wildly that often I get smacked in the face, kicked in the back or belly or pushed to the edge of the bed. SS6 sleeping in our bed means no goodnight's rest for me, although for some reason DH sleeps right through it. Anyways, now that I'm pregnant I am very protective of my body and absolutely refuse to let the SSs sleep in our bed. I have a hard enough time falling and staying asleep as it is and I don't want to get kicked in the belly.

Last night around 2 AM, SS6 came into our room and tried to get into the bed, I told him no, he asked why I said well, you're a big boy now and big boys sleep in their own beds. He was not happy when I sent him back to his room so he started screaming and crying. We ignored it. After about 30 minutes of that, he started screaming "I want BM, I want BM!". I tried to ignore it but it got on my last nerves! Then I can hear SS4stb5 waking up. I'm not proud of this, but I yelled at SS6 and told him to pipe down and go to sleep. He was quiet for maybe 10 minutes but then started it up again. So I went into their room and told SS6 if I hear him one more time, I'm putting him in timeout and he won't be allowed to play with his Leap Pad today. Thank God that shushed him and I didn't hear him after that.

This morning he came into our room to say good morning, acting like nothing happened. I had a talk with him and I also let DH know later on how pissed I was because I was kept up and now I'm grouchy and exhausted.

Comments

smomof2's picture

This is not the first time SS6 pulled this crap. The last couple of times, DH either went in room and cuddle him or he ignores it completely. Last night he told me to ignore the whining and the noise but I couldn't take it anymore after the first 30 minutes.

QueenBeau's picture

Don't feel bad. Acting out and having temper tantrums was never accepted in our home. SD then 4 now 6 had a temper tantrum in walmart one day & we let her cry and act a fool in front of everyone until she got exhausted. She didn't get her way. BM let her get her way from those silly tantrums & that's why she did it.

SD was never allowed to sleep in our bed with us ever. Our bed is for us to sleep and have sex, that's it. When we have children they won't sleep with us either. I wasn't even allowed to so much as TOUCH my parents' bed when I was a kid. It's too hard of a habit to break.

If that woulda been SD I would have sent DH to give her a whoopin. SD sometimes tries to pull that "i cant sleep so i'm going to keep getting up asking for things" act & I have yelled at her for that once. Not really yelling just firmly saying "If you so much as open your eyes or mouth one more time tonight for anything you won't get to__________ tomorrow."

smomof2's picture

You're right DH should take the lead on setting this boundary but he's not and if I don't do it or nag him to do, it won't happen. I am blessed that my husband gives me authority to discipline the kids and 8 times out of 10 he supports whatever consequences I give them but once in a while he would tell me I'm too strict or overreacting. Him on the other hand rarely gives them consequences. If they are doing something they're not supposed to or like last night when SS6 was in full tantrum mode, DH pretended that he didn't notice, hoping it would go away. I'm not that patient, especially when you're playing with my sleeping time. He said it a few times that the kids respect me more than him. For example when they're not listening, I start counting to 3, and both kids know if I get to 3 and they haven't complied there will be consequences. But if DH starts counting to 3, I kid you not, they laugh and SS4stb5 would often count along with DH and not take him seriously.

Growing up, if my mom or dad told us to do something, they better not say it twice!

QueenBeau's picture

They don't respect him because he doesn't discipline them. He should start.

Justme54's picture

Kids will test you. When you put your foot down, he stopped it. Remember this next time, if you give in...he will test you again.