step son 6 sleeping problems
So we have had this issue with co sleeping. Ss always wants to sleep in the bed with daddy. I complained about it alot in the past
Than when I was pregnant hubby finally started putfing ss6 in his bed but only after he fell asleep in our bed. It was still annoying me because he would come back into our bed either in the middle of the night or early in the morning. Anyway, I have a young baby now, he's 2 months old and he sleeps beside me because I'm breastfeeding. Ss has been trying to squeeze in the bed with us...now i dont want to sleep too close to baby cuz its not safe and i can't breath...4 PEOPLE IN ONE BED! ??? you would think we haven't got enough beds. So I cinally complained to hubby so be supposedly fixed the problem. ...how? Well he put a mattress on the floor of our bedroom for stepson to sleep on..WTF? This is so disgusting, what if we want to get intimate in the bedroom? He asked his son to sleep in his room but he says he's scared....yeah right.. I just don't believe that bull..he just wants to be stuck to his dad like glue. NOW another fhing starting to bother me is that he keeps on saying he wants to sleep with his brother and whenever baby is asleep while I do house chores ss ends up waking him up because he tries to sleep beside him. ..and i always come and find him laying next to the baby and kissing him on the lips...not just one kiss...but like constantly kissing him...so I asked him not to do that and he said to me "you kiss him on the lips" and i told him only i can do that because I'm his mother. And now whenever baby cries he goes to his dad and says that I'm mean and I'm making the baby cry and that i shouldn't treat the baby badly...This pisses me off soo bad...this little monster who is almost 7 is trying to tell me how to be a mom! I've had it with him...he said that when my son is older he will move away with him to another city and not live with me anymore. I now truly believe that evil children exist. I don't want this kid in my life anymore, I swear....I love my husband...but I think the older his kid gets the more i will hate him...i truly can not stand him anymore....I fantasize about telling him to shut the bleep up!
Sorry for spelling mistakes.
Sorry for spelling mistakes. I'm not sure how to edit my post.
I don't know how to tell you
I don't know how to tell you how to end that sleeping in your bed crap , but whatever you do, find a solution. Maybe a night light, a huge teddy bear that is his protector since he is so "scared", or make his room really cool by buying him a tent- some kids like that. Maybe you could treat him with something he likes every time he sleeps alone:positive reinforcement system. If you don't end it he'll continue this behavior and God for bid hurt your baby.
I had a similar problem with SS when he was 14/15:::: I know gross!! We, DH and myself would be laying in bed watching a movie and he would want to lie down with us too. I would tell him there is not enough room because I found the behavior disgusting. I would then have to relocate to my living room. And mind you he is/was six feet tall at the time. It use to annoy the crap at of me. I hated when I would come home and he would be sleeping in my bed, sweating on my pillows and linens. The second he got up I would immediately change my bedding. I felt horrible to feel that way because I didn't want to hurt SS feelings or DHs . After getting tired of the scenario playing out I finally told DH, but that did nothing. I then spent money and made his room really cool with a flat screen tv bigger than mine, entertainment system etc. it worked because he stopped sleeping in my room when I wasn't home. I know it sounds expensive, but in my opinion I would spend the money 10 times over again. As far as when we are relaxing watching a movie, I got through to him by strategically telling his uncle about it who has the biggest mouth in the world and his uncle must have told him (wink) and he stopped coming to watch movies in my bed.
Hope this helps.. Good luck.
Argh!! I wish DH would have
Argh!! I wish DH would have sorted that problem out far before- now SS will be jealous of the baby since his dad did treat him like a baby before. Neither fair on you or SS. Nevertheless I think the co sleeping had to come to an end, too. I had my baby's sleeping next to me , too while I was breast feeding - but SS is 6. I think the only way it could work since DH didn't do it before the baby arrived is to offer rewards to SS when being a big boy now and sleeping through on his room. It needs to be firm but positive since it is a bad timing to do it now. A reward list with stickers etc and the prospect of something he really wants if he has enough stickers, plus also maybe something new like new bed linen or similar could do the job. But consequent behaviour from Disney Dad is essential. And reinforcing a million time how great it is that he is such a big boy and the baby will surely find him soooo cool being so big these days !! Surely poor baby can't do as much as SS, but well one day when he is BIG he will ... Blabla... Fingers crossed the problem will be solved soon!
Any credibility you might
Any credibility you might have had in this situation went right out the window when you expressed your disbelief that a 6 yr old could possibly be afraid of sleeping alone in his room...
Really?
You, dh, new baby...all sleeping together in the same room...he's in another room by himself and there's something wrong with HIM? And now there's something wrong with dh for putting his mattress in the room...this is classic "I hate my skid and will do everything to be difficult to him" behavior. He has figured this out...that is why you are getting the attitude you are getting from him. Please don't insult our intelligence by insisting that all of these issues are because he is evil.
Reality...children have fears. Six year olds have lots of them, some irrational. Just because it doesn't make sense to you doesn't mean it is fabricated. He is dh's son. Let him deal with it how HE sees fit. And when you want to have sex, I'm sure there are other rooms in the house...
Excuse me but im sure he isnt
Excuse me but im sure he isnt afraid because at his moms home he sleeps on his own and he lives with his mother most of the time so he's obviously not afraid to sleep alone. I've been with my husband since ss6 was 2 and he used to sleep on his own..this all started when his mom started brainwashing him at age 5 and he became clingier than ever to daddy. By the way the reason I said there are evil children is not because he sleeps in our room...it's because he makes up lies about me to try to make his dad fight with me or to cause problems....telling his father I treat my baby badly and even once saying that I pushed him on the road so he can be hit by a car! Excuse...me but just because you haven't witnessed any children do evil that doesn't mean they don't exist.
I dont hate myvstep child , I hate his behavior. He annoys me and gets on my nerves Bad kids DO exist...so maybe you need a reality check if you think all children are such innocent angels...kids can be cruel too.
Of I hated this child I wouldnt have looked after him for 3 months while hisom ditched and left him and never even called.
I'm not an evil witch who just dislikes her ss for no reason. I have been in his life for 4 years and have tried my best with him but when a kid is always causing you problems and being nasty it's kinda hard to like them.
YES HE DOES ANNOY ME AND I DO FEEL LIKE SOMETIMES TELLING HIM TO SHUT THE BLEEP UP and I'm not ashamed to say it.
Who are you trying to be here? Judge Judy? If you think all children are so wonderful than why don't you adopt as many brats as possible and live happily ever after.
I'm here to vent so let me vent in peace.
Please do your entire family
Please do your entire family a favor and take a psychology course. Or three. If you can't possibly imagine a child is afraid at his dad's house, just because he isn't afraid at his mom's house, it is because you don't WANT to understand it because you don't care. Different house. Different bed. Different caretakers (including you, who doesn't like him...and he knows it). Different noises. Different bedtime routine. Annnnnnnnddddddd.....you say that all this clingyness happened because of bm's brainwashing at 5. So you know that something is wrong, you know the cause of it, but it's the child's fault?
He lives at his mom's most of the time, so really, how many nights is he disturbing of yours, anyway?
One thing you will probably eventually learn with your own baby, is that children have needs that go beyond food and water. This child's needs are not being met. He is not being nurtured properly, THAT's why he is clingy. And making a big deal out of where he sleeps is doing exactly the opposite of what he needs. I don't think a child should share a bed with a sparent, nor do I think a child should be in bed with an infant. But there are other solutions, that will actually improve the child's behavior, such as what his dad did by putting the mattress in the bedroom.
I really don't care what a bunch of stepparents say about cosleeping. I wouldn't want to cosleep with my skid either. But the facts are that more people in the world share a family bed than not, and there are NUMEROUS benefits to it. When people say "I could never get my kid outta my bed..." it's because they usually changed the game in the middle, or they never really wanted them there in the first place and tried to boot them out.
Don't try to tell me about the numerous crappy kids out there. My kids are 10 and 11, so I've had my share of crap. Not to mention, I was a teacher as well as a city lifeguard for many years, and I know what's out there. That is why I said what I did in the first sentence. I am so grateful for all those psychology courses I hated taking in college...
And even if there are other
And even if there are other rooms in the house to have sex...I'd like to use my bed in my room hun. That's why it's our room with a bed for us to have sex in....what you're saying makes no sense. Are you suggesting we have sex in my step sons room or what? He follows his dad to the bathroom....so there's no way to have privacy and now I have to share my bedroom with him too.
You don't make any sense woman.
Tell your husband that he is
Tell your husband that he is to sleep in the kids room and to drag the mattress into that room. Further more than as long as that mattress exists in the house he'll be sleeping on it every night until he starts to parent the kid on this issue.
And no he's not visiting you in the marital bed either.
The kid may be mildly afraid since he sleeps there so rarely but standard parenting techniques should easily overcome this since he sleeps OK at his mothers. When you tell Daddy that he is not sleeping in your bed until this is rsolved have already researched on-line how to resolve these sort of problems and give him a print out on how to go about it.
Tell him the new program starts with the kids next visit and he stays in the kids room until he's ready to implement a new acceptable system.
Example to print: http://www.ehow.com/how_7826341_older-children-sleep-own-beds.html
Benadryl can actually cause
Benadryl can actually cause hyperactivity in children. It is a misnomer that it causes children to be drowsy.
I couldn't agree more. I
I couldn't agree more. I coslept with my son and it led me to have a baby that never slept thru the night and who wouldn't sleep in his own crib/bed. I don't think I slept soundly for two years. I wish I knew then what I know now! Ugh!
This is why I am soooo
This is why I am soooo against cosleeping. It creates so many problems with babies/kids and their sleep patterns.
I have a friend that is 5'3 and her 5'7, 13 year old, daugther still sleeps inbetween her and her husband. I find that so totally absurd.
With out a doubt DH needs to
With out a doubt DH needs to go sleep on the mattress in SS's room.
This must be a hard time for you with a nw born, why is your DH making it harder for you with ridiculous sleeping arrangements!
I have 2 skids SD2 and SD6, both kids have never had a problem sleeping in their own beds. NEVER. They get into bed and flat out asleep, right through. Howver at their BM's SD2 nearly 3 still has a bottle and both girls get up in the night with nightmares and want to sleep with her.....interesting right! Kids know what they can get away with and will do it becasue its what they want.Give them the love and reassurance before bedtime and they will learn that its fine, but I would say 90% off the time with kids its attention they crave which they havent been given in the daytime.
Let DH sleep with him for a while but not make out that its a reward having daddy sleep on the floor.DH will soon learn he wants to be back with his wife
Thanks ladies! I do want to
Thanks ladies! I do want to put my baby in the crib as well only I haven't got one yet. We have a cradle but he has never toen able to sleep in it. Because he's breastfeeding, I find it much easier when he's right beside me. I'm trying to get him to take a bottle sometimes so that he can maybe sleep through the night but he still refuses.
I'll be buying him a crib at the end of this month so I will start trying soon. As for SS I guess I'll try to tell hubby to give him somethong (candy or sonething) if he can sleep in his own room through the night, maybe that'll work. It's worth a try.
Thank you all!