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Stepdaughter

DG2013's picture

I have been with my husband for 4 years left him we decided to work things out n recently married in June. The relationship between myself n him has never been better the problem is his almost 10 year old daughter. Every night before bed or even after shes in bed comes into our room tears running down her face saying she doesnt want to sleep in her bed. She even asked him to make her a bed in our room. (NOT) ! If I get too close to him or kiss him when they come in after he gets off work she gets mad n pouts! If were all sitting on the couch watching a movie she picked out to watch if he chooses to sit beside me she rolls around on the couch huffing n puffing. She goes thru his phone n reads his messages. She lies to her mom and tells her we lock her out of our bedroom ( we cant do that all the locks in the house except bathroom door is to the outside of the room) she does it to cause conflict. Im not sure how much 1 person is suppose to take . I have 3 grandsons all younger than her n they act better than she does. They all say please thank you yes maam no maam you get the point she has to be told to say it. Dont know what to do?

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DG2013's picture

Shes his daughter n I forgot to mention she did this long before we got married!!!! Im the step parent. I have been a step parent before n my ex husbands kids loved me they wanted to be with me more than their own dad. So I dont know what's going on with her .

QueenBeau's picture

First off, you have every right to lock her out of your bedroom so her lie is stupid on that part. Tell your husband that it bothers you & he needs to handle it. There's nothing you can do about her behavior, it is her parents job to parent her. You can support your husband's decisions and stand firmly as an adult behind him but you can't make the rules really.

DG2013's picture

That would be easy if he woudnt tell her no several times then let her do it anyways. I try to say no n she just ignores it. Ive told him shes almost 10 acts 3 n thinks she makes the rules here. When he has her I work evening shifts so I dont have to hear it.

DG2013's picture

He lets her come in here anytime n it is BS we have to have our time and not always sexual just time to reconnect after the day.My kids never did that they always knocked always slept in their own beds. I hate to compare them but its true I have never dealt with a kid so coniving and manipulative. If you ask her what's wrong she always says nothing but 5 mins later dadfy come to my room I want to talk and he jumps. Youre right about her being jealous. She cant stand it.

DG2013's picture

We have 2 cups on the sink my husband has partials so he has a toothbrush n 1 for his partials she puts her toothbrush in with his no big deal but hers keeps getting moved to the othrr cup n had the nerve to ask me y I keep moving it! No reason for me to so again think shes trying to cause a problem. N yes hes trying to be the Disney Dad . Hes fixing to let her cause more problems than its worth. Im sorry youve dealt with the same issues but how much do we put up with?

Hanny's picture

You say you were together for 4 years, split up and just remarried. Has this situation changed, or was this going on before you got back together. How long were you apart? I agree with others here, your DH needs to handle this, and if he won't, then do not expect it to get any better, only worse! The older she gets. One things you can hope for in the future is that when she gets older she will get a social life and not be so into your and your DH's business. It made a difference, but from what some say on here, some kids never get social and just stick close to home and never go out with friends. It doesn't sound like your DH is standing up for the two of you. This is on his shoulders and I'd make some demands before this get entirely out of hand.