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The blow began!!!!

daisy0202's picture

Well last night was our first real blow out....

Lets see my DH and I have been together for 5 years. We have been married for 2 of those 5. We argue, disagree, but never have we had a fight to the point where I have cried. I can honestly say that. Well now I can't.

Last night we sitting watching TV. My boys 14 and 20 were in there rooms being normal children and SD16 was of course in the living room with us. Well my DH decided to start talking to me about what we were bringing to our New years party at friends. My SD decided to pause the TV, my DH says to her why you pausing the TV, she states I dont want you to miss any of the show so I'll pause it until your done talking and she stares at us while my DH talks...I just blew my lid. I got up looked at my DH and said you need to come with me we need to talk. While I start to walk away SD says dad stay here I want you to watch this show with me. My DH thank god said I will be back...Of course we hear huffing and puffing. So we go into our bedroom which seems to be the only place we have any private time and I just explode....He just says what am I supposed to do. I really have no clue what to do with this child but OMFG!!!!!! I cant even have a conversation with my DH without her pausing the TV and looking right at us like she is part of this conversation.... I was BS..... What the hell do i do with this without being the masive BITCH I want ot be!!!!! This arrangement is going to make me sick...Best part I have lost 5lbs already and its just been 2 weeks....

Comments

Willow2010's picture

Ok daisy, I am going to be honest here. I think you over reacted a bit. I do understand where you are coming from, but I son't think this was not something to have a huge blow about. Maybe next time, just tell DH you will talk when show is over, or take him to bedroom to talk.

buttercookie's picture

actually without hearing the whole back story of this I can't say if you over reacted or not. Your DH needs to let his child know she is a child and that her behavior is not acceptable and that she is not part of the marital relationship. I do agree you should have told your DH you will talk after the movie and/or went to the bedroom but not something to fight over, but I don't know the whole backstory. Some of these skids push us to the point one little thing pushes us over the edge

Auteur's picture

DH should have sent her to her room. She doesn't need to be privy to ANY adult conversations.

SD (pausing TV)
DH: "put the remote down please; we don't need you to pause the tv for us"
Daisy: "DH, let's discuss our New years plans (name a time when SD won't be around)"

SD (with great disdain due to adult spousal status) "HUFF PUFF!"

Jmom's picture

Hey Daisy I feel exactly where you are coming from. I deal with the same thing from SD11. She's getting better now that I have decided not to play the games. In the beginning she was always including herself into adult conversations. This is ok at BM's house but not at mine. I'd blow up and I'd look like the crazy one because I was the adult and she was the child of course in DH eyes. Take Willow's advice it works. You can't let the SD win and that's what she did this time, win.

beyond pissed-off's picture

I totally feel you on this. My skids will butt in to each and every conversation - literally saying "what did you say? I did not hear that clearly." and FH will go back over the conversation with them. Word. For. Word. It makes me crazy!!! He has started to do better but the habits of a lifetime die hard. Apparently BM taught them that they were to be included in EVERYTHING that occurred in the household. Unreal......

Auteur's picture

GG was the same way (his "angels" are now PASed out and frankly I hope they stay that way)

ADULT SPOUSAL STATUS

daisy0202's picture

Its like everything now is getting to me and yesteday was like the icing on the cake....If this was an isolated episode I would of been fine but it is a constant thing with her. Always being right there, always getting in on our conversations. If were talking in the kitchen about whatever she will mute the TV to hear us and then respond to something her father asked me....ITS JUST AGRAVATING!!!!!! and yesterday was my burning point.....

daisy0202's picture

Exactly....If it was a 1 time thing..no biggy...BUT ITS ALL THE TIME!!!! You can only turn the cheek so much till you tell everyone to kiss your ass...ya know????

Lalena75's picture

My own teenage bkid has done this to us its not just a skid issue and both my SO and I repeatedly tell her if the conversation was to include her she would know it otherwise butt out of the adults conversation! I've many times sent her to her room for evesdropping. My own dad said I was really obnoxious about doing the same thing as well.