I must be crazy

I'd like to do something nice for BM.

When my cat died, she and skid1 got me a little memorial trinket. It was very touching and unexpected. She just lost her grandmother, and I think it'd be nice to do something similar.

What do you guys think? Is this a bad idea? A little background: she has issues, and for a while blamed me for the end of her marriage (not true in the least, btw). She's been known to be violent and was threatening me for a while; I actually walked around with a knife for protection. For a while, she made little to no effort to see the boys/be a parent. She was - to say the least - unstable, and (through FDH) I was a target of a lot of that, until FDH put a stop to it. She and I do not have, and have never had, any direct contact other than a quick "Hi" at a skid event.

However, she seems to have gotten her shit together big time in the last year. She really stepped up when skid1 was going through a rough time, and she has stopped verbally attacking me altogether. She spends A LOT more time with the skids than before (for which I am eternally grateful) and seems to be on the same page as FDH as far as discipline, etc go. She even told FMIL that she is glad I am in the boys' lives :jawdrop: . She's not perfect, but she seems to be trying. Things have been rolling along pretty peacefully here.

Anyway, I'm not sure if this would be opening the gates of hell or not. Thoughts?

queenofthedamned's blog
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Run her over with car, is the

Run her over with car, is the only nice thing I would like to do for Crazo.

You are a better person than I am. I have never acknowledged her nor will I ever.

1. I am a empty nester stepparent. My stepchildren have two involved parents. I don’t need to take on a parenting role.
I already parented mine.

4. My husband chose his former wife to be his children's mother. He must take responsibility for the consequences of that choice for himself and his children.

5. Whatever dynamic exists between my husband and his former wife does not involve me. They must work together for their children's benefit.

Good luck with that! I hope you don't get a nasty bite!

^^ Agreed.

Agreed.

I say, if your heart tells

I say, if your heart tells you to do it, than do it.

I have done little things for BM when she is on her upswings. I have even bought birthday presents for her (from ME specifically).

Common decency is a lost art. You never know how you can touch some ones life with just a little of it.

In my situation I wouldn't do

In my situation I wouldn't do anything but then again BM has never done anything nice towards me as the skid's SM.

There was a death in her family and DH heard about it on the day of pickup, told me about it, we arrived and BM obviously was upset and I told her that I was sorry for her loss, let us know if she'd need us to keep the skids for funeral, viewings, etc. She thanked me, never took us up on the offer, fine. My mother passed and DH and I had to fly to New England, the skids knew this and shared with BM, what did we get? 50 f'ing calls, voicemails and texts during the service because she felt that she needed attention. When there was a moment where DH and I could take a breath I sent her a text on DH's phone.....WTF??? Funeral in progress, take a pill and we'll contact you later. Her response was "I WANT A CALL NOW" DH shut his phone off. Later on, he called with me standing there and ripped her a new one, unacceptable behavior from a selfish bitch. She was acting like a little girl and she got treated as one. FYI...she was calling about something the skids said they overheard at our house.....something that wasn't true. FFS, we were burying my mother. }:)