I guess I don't see why the step kids couldn't have some of the food you cooked too. If I cook eggs and bacon and my skids want waffles afterwards or before I really don't care, they can eat if they want to.

I never felt guilty trying to enforce the same rules on skids as I did my now grown bios, but I had guilty daddykins telling me every step of the way that I was:

cruel
mean-spirited
evil
too strict

And heard the old chestnuts familiar to us all:
"They're JUST KIDS!" (so were serial killers at one time)
"You're the adult here" (straw man argument)
"I want them to be comfortable and have FUN" (yeah so do i but real life isn't 24/7 three ring circuses)

How DARE they have oppressive things like:

A set bed time
Nutritious meals
Brushing their teeth
Combing their hair
Not wandering around in their whitey tighties all day
Not coming to the breakfast table in their whitey tighties and shirtless
Homework/school work
Manners
Learning toilet etiquette (wiping/flushing/washing)
Clean hands and faces
Fingernails clean and trimmed
Learning to read and write
Not sitting in front of Sponge Bob 24/7

I experience this a lot....try not to feel guilty. This is how things are at your house. Skids are just trying to manipulate you to make you feel bad and play the victim. Just stay consistent, remind them they have rules everywhere they go and they change depending where they are (the library they should be quiet, school has lots of different rules depending which class you're in - gym vs classroom, etc.) I use that sometimes with the kids when they complain about something we do at our house that they don't do at BM's, and they usually have no argument.

Our household (and me in particular) is more strict about things than BM's. So on some very rare occasions where we are all in the same place together and I say something normal to one of the skids, reminding them how to act or whatever -- something very normal and routine like "There's no need to scream, use your inside voice please"-- she gets all up in arms about that I made him/her feel bad or something stupid. DH has explained to BM when this has happened that yes, we are much more strict in our household than hers with behavior, and that we treat our BS the same way (when applicable, he's only 2 yet), and that she has to understand that we have a different household, not everything is the same, and that the kids do just fine and listen well to us(more moreso than they listen to BM!!!). That usually shuts her up. and this has only happened on VERY rare occasions anyway but it still drives me nuts.

Nope, never felt evil.

If my boys did some of the shit ss16 has done over the years since I have been with dh, I would have been much more harsh with them then dh has with ss16. Like for instance ss16 was still peeing his bed at night at age 12 when I first met them. DH would say things like just wash and replace and don't say anything to ss b/c it might make him worse. HA. If one of my own boys had peed his bed I would have made HIM strip the bed wash the sheets and remake the bed. No quietness in how I have disciplined my kids and strangely enough my boys both were 100% day and night trained by age 3- 3 1/2 yrs old. Just last week ss16 peed out his window several times. If bs15 had done that I would have handed him soap, a hose and told him to spray and soap down area and if I ever caught him doing that again he'd lose internet or I'd board up his window for a week. I mention maybe telling ss that to dh and he flipped out on me and said that was too harsh. Harsh? It's simple cause and affect. I remember learning about cause and affect when my oldest child, disabled daughter, was in physical therapy at age two and how the therapist told me that cause and affect is extremely important for kids to learn starting with playing at age 1 and 2 and then as we discipline them throughout their growing up years. Like you pee out your window, you lose your window. Simple right?

You chose to eat eggo waffles for breakfast, you don't get to eat scrambled eggs. One breakfast per child. Self control.

you feel guilty because at some point the story will come out FAR different than what actually happened. The story will be you didn't feed them breakfast, but you fed your own kids breakfast. How dare you -- I find that my skids have their own version, and then there is the real version.