overwhelmed_4's Blog
dont want to be "that BM"
I have two bio kids with my exh. BD9 and BS7. We have been separated/divorced for three years and I remarried just a few months ago. Exh is a somewhat clueless Dad, but for the most part I have seen that he is trying and loves his kids dearly. We got divorced because he seemed to have a problem not sleeping with other women, but have managed to have a friendly divorce and are pleasant to each other and he gets along with DH. He has not been in the kids lives consistently for 5 years due to his military career although the last year long deployment he volunteered for.
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BM wants to have a talk with DH AND I
BM shocked us yesterday after she texted DH asking if she could come by tonight after the kids are in bed to discuss the whole ss playing football thing. A few things are going thru my mind here. 1) she's never been very accommodating. Is she trying to start co parenting better with DH? 2) Why am I included in this? Maybe she wants a moms perspective on football since BS played it last year? I told DH I wasn't very comfortable being involved in this convo especially since she threw out the lawyer threat the other day.
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Doing the same to BM? Advice please!
Ok, so kids sports seems like a petty thing to squabble about but it's apparently going to create a huge issue over here. Let's start with some background info. DH and BM have joint legal and shared physical custody. We have skids thur-sun 3 weeks a month during the school year, split school holidays (although somehow she ends up offering us most of the time and we of course accept) and all summer with BM getting every other weekend. She ends up getting slightly more a year than we do. For the last 3 years she has always been the one to sign ss7 up for sports.
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Ever feel like "evil SM" when you would have done the same to bio kids?
There are a few examples, but today was just a small one. The kids all woke me up at 8 and of course were wanting breakfast right away. I am the type of person who takes about thirty minutes to fully wake up tho. I told the kids I would make breakfast if they wanted but to just wait a few minutes. SS6 and SD5 decided they just couldn't wait until 8:30 so they started making eggo waffles. I asked them if they were sure because I wasn't going to give them two breakfasts. BS6 also told SS that he probably shouldn't eat now because a home made breakfast would be better.
I am all alone!!!
Normally I have my bio kids all the time because their father has been stationed away for a while and when he did live close by before he was on a ship so his schedule was random. He just got back and settled a little while ago and today he picked up the kids to take them for the weekend! On top of that, skids BM just came and got them for her weekend with them! Dh is not home from work yet and its actually a drill weekend for him (Guard)sooooooo.....I am all alone this weekend!!!! I'm doing a happy dance and probably will be sitting around drinking wine naked by noon tomorrow! WOOHOO!!!!
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SD5 is apparently a sleepwalker
Last night DH went to bed at ten and all the kids had been in bed since 9. I decided to go on the porch and smoke before bed. While I'm out there the door opens and SD is just staring at me. I asked what was wrong and didn't get an answer so I stopped what I was doing and asked again. Still no response and she starts to walk outside and towards the steps like she's just going to walk into the yard. I was a little weirded out by this so I turned her around and walked her back into the house. Upon walking in I noticed the carpet right outside her bedroom door was all wet.
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"disengaging" and my SM experience
I found this site because I wondered if there were other SM like me that had blended family issues. What I've learned is a lot about myself and it's only been a few days! I grew up with a SM who was absolutely amazing! She treated me like her own and still did after she had my half brother. I was 7 and my older brother was 9 when she came into our lives. She didn't have a BM to deal with bc mine had died a few years before. Sometimes I think maybe she had it easier as a SM for that fact, but my bio mom's family was awful to her.
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