Last Night did not end well.

Ok 4 skids ages 18sd,17ss,16sd,15ss.

8pm last night the doorbell rings.
skid4 goes to answer it. DH and I are sitting on the couch watching tv and can hear voices at the front door and just kind of assume that its one of ss15s friend at the door since he is talking to them. We can't hear the conversation over the tv, can just tell that theres two voices talking.

Yeah, no. SD18 was in the kitchen and walked over to DH and told him whomever was at the door was asking for him and skid4 was telling them his dad wasn't home.

Hmmm. DH gets up goes to the door and life as we knew it- ended.

At the door was a very angry father. Who had brought along his 15 year old daughter.
Short story: the girl is pregnant. Guess who the daddy is?

It appears for the last several months when skid 4 was asking permission to hang with his friend "Tony" the friends name was actually "Toni" (Toni is not the name, but it is a unisex name and he definately never told daddy that his friend was a girl).

Things were really ugly last night at the house. DH and the girls dad are meeting this evening to have a beer and talk options.

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DH advised ss15 he gets no

DH advised ss15 he gets no say. That if he is too immature to remember to wrap it then he is far too immature to decide anything that has to do with a childs future.

He also advised him its literally ALL the girls choice: if she wants an abortion she can get one, in our state she does not even need parental consent - nor can the parents force her to get one.

If she wants to adopt it out, yes skid would have to sign the paperwork and he would sign it because he is not an emancipated minor, has no way of supporting a child and DH and I are not going to do it for him.

He also advised him if she decides to keep it: Kiss the next 18 years of your life goodbye. Start thinking child support, custody orders, work, work work: you will be working to support that kid if she keeps it instead of going to college.

So, SS15 is job hunting. Because at the least he has an abortion to pay for. He might have a pregnancy to pay for ... or 18 years of hell to pay for.

Only things I can think to

Only things I can think to say right now aren't helpful. It's a mix of "Oh, hell." and "I had only just begun kissing boys at that age!" (I'm not even *that* old yet... I'm only 21!)

Darn double post...

omg! this is MY nightmare!

omg! this is MY nightmare! ss17 is almost of age where we won't be responsible, but do you realize you could be on the hook for more child support for your husband's minor child?? and, unfortunately nobody but the girl's parents ultimately have the power of decision making. shit, i managed to get both my daughters through their teen years without getting knocked up and now i have to worry about HIS kids. fml. total freaking nightmare. please let us know how this meeting turns out with the fathers.

In Florida its all in the

In Florida its all in the girls lap. She can get an abortion without parental consent. And the parents cannot force her to have one or even require adoption.

Wow, I'm sorry ya'll are

Wow, I'm sorry ya'll are going thru this. Your SS really needs to know, it's not just the next 18 years, it's for the rest of his life, he would be a parent. At 18 you're no longer legally responsible, but your children are always in your life. His life is about to change forever, one way or another. No matter if she chooses to keep it, abort it, or adopt it.

I can only say I am so sorry

I can only say I am so sorry for everyone involved- The girl, her parents, your SS, your DH and you!! You all have so much on your shoulder right now. Glad to hear that your DH is not coddling him though!

Wow 15 yr old parents to

Wow 15 yr old parents to be...that's so scary. So many lives turned upside down no matter what the decision is regarding the child. JHS, I am sorry. At least the fathers of the teens are willing to actually sit down and discuss it instead of it turning into a Hatfield/McCoy situation.

Yes, excellent response. I

Yes, excellent response. I don't know if it's so cut and dry as to say that SS doesn't have any say in it at all. By your DH and the other dad "handling" everything, you basically are letting the two people responsible for what happened off the hook. What do they really learn then? All they really learn is that "If I mess up, daddy will handle it."

Good point. Forwarding this

Good point. Forwarding this one to my DH so he can chew on it.

Am I the only one that finds

Am I the only one that finds it amusing that SS15 actually tried to say that your DH wasn't home in an attempt to cover up this mess?

LOL! He got a girl PREGNANT and he is acting like he forgot his homework at school!

(I can't really speak to SS15's frame of mind, but that is how it reads to me)

Thats how I saw it too. Your

Thats how I saw it too. Your man enough to whip it out and use it... but all of a sudden now your a kid and daddy isn't home when its time to face the consequences.

Lets not forget the work vehicle that was sitting in our drive way. The name of DH's work prominantly displayed across the side of said vehicle.

Not a job any teenager would hold. Not a job many women would hold either.

Ah okay. Well written BTW.

Ah okay. Well written BTW. There's a literary term for how you presented this "delivering a punch-line before the joke is completely revealed". I forget what the term is though.

SD18 actually had an idea

SD18 actually had an idea that she voiced to me: because DH was still raging at skid4 and was not hearing anything anyone was saying.

DH's brother and wife can't have kids. SD18s idea was if the girl decided on adoption perhaps aunt and uncle would want to adopt it. That way their child would have some familial DNA. It's an idea. Not sure if it would work or not.

I would like to note one thing. In the kids bathroom, under the sink, is a wicker basket. Filled with freaking condoms. They are teenagers, they are going to be stupid and experiment. DH and I check to make sure there are condoms in it and refill if necessary (also check experation dates and replace as needed). There are no questions asked if the condoms have to be replaced. The kid had a way to prevent this. He chose not to because "Those things feel slimey".

Really? How does fatherhood "feel"?

LOL. Like I always tell my

LOL. Like I always tell my stepdaughters. Condoms are LOT cheaper than diapers and daycare.

>"Those things feel

>"Those things feel slimey".<

>Really? How does fatherhood "feel"?<

OMG! Give ME slimey condoms! I would LICK slimy condoms if it would give me reprieve from ONE WEEK of having to change "Miss Chernobyl-Poopy-pants" that is my daughter. I would LICK slimy condoms for a whole week if I never had to supervise my son's attempt at trying to figure out how to aim is winky. Seriously, my son's pee is like the freakin' magic bullet! He peed in my ear. MY EAR!!! Try to figure out the trajectory on that one and you could be head of CSI!!!

heeheeheee, draco you crack

heeheeheee, draco you crack me up!!

Kate

Wow - reminds me of that

Wow - reminds me of that billboard that compares the cost of a vasectomy (a one time cost) versus the cost of CS every month for 18 years!

I can't believe he didn't use protection because it felt "slimy"

Aaaaand, I think a vasectomy

Aaaaand, I think a vasectomy is tax deductable..

I hate hearing stories like

I hate hearing stories like this and I am so sorry you guys are dealing with this. I hope the best for you and I am praying for the Uncle Adoption to work out. (just my opinion).

Much luck to you.

Two 15 year old kids have

Two 15 year old kids have ZERO ability to raise a child. It will be put on the grandparents shoulders.

The most incredibly selfish thing these two could do would be to keep the child - sort of like a toy or a pet that mommy and daddy take care of.

Lets say that the children against all odd do manage to get an education and a career and find themselves at 25 with a normal life where they could take care of a child. There's probably a one in a million chance that these two kids will even be speaking to each other much less committed to a life together.

There will be a 10 year old kid who's been shuffled between grandparents and parents - we all see how well that works out from the issues here.

They were STUPID STUPID STUPID but that ship has sailed - hope they don't make any more STUPID decisions to ruin this child's life.

LOL@ OldOne.

I had to come back and

I had to come back and comment again. I have a unique perspective on this. My mother got pregnant via an affair at 36 years old. She was advised to have an abortion.

I found this out when I was 17 and found an old letter she had written me. One line has stuck with me for years.

"It's not your fault I slept with your father. You don't deserve to die because I made a mistake. I won't punish you for my mistake."

I'm so glad she thought that way... I like being alive. I have made a difference in people's lives that other's couldn't have. Was life more difficult for my mother? Definitely. But SHE made her choice to have sex and get pregnant. NOT me.

Adoption is the best choice for an unwanted pregnancy. It's tough for the mother to give her child up for adoption, but it's giving her child a chance at life... That's the best and least selfish thing she could do.

Please. As a child who could have been aborted... encourage adoption. The innocent child gets to have a life, the parents get to grow the heck up, and they don't spend the next 18 years in court. Win win? I think so.

One f my very best childhood

One f my very best childhood friends has a similar story. Her mom and dad were young and had a very volatile relationship. Her dad was driving her mother to the abortion clinic when he mom, jumped out of the moving car in to a busy intersection.

Thus.... my best friend was born. It wasn't easy for her mother, being a young single mom. And she could have put her up for adoption. She chose not to (although I think that is a noble and precious thing to do). Jamie was able to be in my life. She was a sweet, smart compassionate girl. I don't know how my teenage years would have turned out, without her. She was my voice of reason and she kept me out of a lot of trouble. When she and her mom shared the "near abortion experience" with me... I cried and THANKED her mom for not going through with it.

That little baby is someone's future... someone's child, someone's best friend, eventually more than likely someone's spouse and parent. I can't imagine changing that destiny.

"That little baby is

"That little baby is someone's future... someone's child, someone's best friend, eventually more than likely someone's spouse and parent. I can't imagine changing that destiny."

^^^ When DH found out my mother had been advised to abort me, he went over and told her that by sparing my life, she saved his (He was in a really dark place when we met). Now, we have two BDs together (well, we will next month) and my mother says every minute of it was worth it seeing her grandchildren. So figure that by deciding not to abort me, my mother saved 1) Me 2) DH 3) BDstb2 and 4) NewBabystbBorn Now fan that out a bit farther... a friend of DH's called him last month and told DH to come get all of his stuff. DH knew something was wrong, and stayed on the phone with his friend while driving over to his house. DH's friend had been planning to kill himself. So, 5) DH's Friend. Now figure my children will make a difference in someone else's life, be their best friend, their spouse, their parent... it just keeps going.

Yep, that child was me too.

Yep, that child was me too. My dad wanted my mom to have an abortion. She decided last minute not to do it. I didn't grow up with either of my parents (I grew up with other relatives almost my entire life), but I am happy that she made the decision to give me a chance to live.

I just find it odd that the

I just find it odd that the two dad's are sitting down to discuss "what will happen" when it is NOT their decision to make.

It's no wonder either kid isn't responsible... apparently both have DADDDDDEEEEE to do all their thinking and handle all their consequences for them.

Sure, parents should help them research options and help them understand what each choice entails... but it not their place to make any choices.

I am so very sorry for both

I am so very sorry for both of these families. I sincerely hope they go the adoption route as well. Your SD18 had a very good idea and I hope it works out for the aunt & uncle that want to have children.

I have repeatedly told DH's kid.....if you choose to have sex, be smart about it. Always...ALWAYS use a condom. And if the guy doesn't want to wrap it up, tell him no. It's not just pregnancy, it diseases too.

OMG I'm sorry! I hope it all

OMG I'm sorry! I hope it all works out. I just have nothing else to say...

I thought slimy was a good

I thought slimy was a good thing

OMG, this is my worst

:jawdrop:

OMG, this is my worst nightmare. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. So stressful

One more thing I want to add

One more thing I want to add about adoption in general.

So often a mother thinks "I could never give my child away". In today's world adoptions are pretty open. At least by 18 a bio parent and child could make contact. In some open adoptions it is even earlier.

An adoption is letting the child have a chance at being raised by parents who will love and provide for it. Two 15 year olds are not going to be able to provide anything for a baby. How much difference is there really in palming the kid off to grandparents who don't really want it and letting the child go to a loving home.

As I am older I know several instances of how this has all worked out in the end. The adopted child is almost always so grateful for the opportunities that they were given. I've seen instances where the bio mom comes into the adult child's life. Sometimes there's a bond and everyone bio and adoptive mom and now grown child all relate and are grateful for the role each provided.

Sometimes the child is so thankful that they were not raised by the bio mom and that they did not have to live a train wreck life.

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Last Night did not end well.

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