OMG way too FREAKING FUNNY!
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So a little history here, bm has always tried her best to keep the skids from dh, making up crap, calling dhs, even hiding them from him.
With that said this is dh's 2 weeks with the skids and today was ss15s HS orientation and was to be done around 11am. Dh dropped him off with bm last night and is picking him up when he gets off work. so bm has texted dh 3 times already telling him that ss15 is driving her crazy and wants to know when he is picking him up. The last text was about how much she has a headache and needs ss15 out of her hair! LOL way too funny.
Then dh actually asked me if I wanted to go pick him up, I told him NAH I think I'll let ss15 stay there and annoy the crap out of her! LOL }:)
WOW! DH actually ASKS you
WOW! DH actually ASKS you whether or not you want SS to come over??!!
What a breath of fresh air!!!
Usually the conversation goes like this:
BM: "Can you pick up Junior?"
Editor's note: Before the last syllable spills out of BM's mouth, biodad is already screeching out of the driveway (or parking lot or whatever SM had planned which has immediately been pushed aside) and burning up the road, running stop signs and bumping off pedestrians trying to get to the BM's house to pick up the wonder/golden child.
DH: "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!"
(notice at no time does any consult take place with SM regarding this matter; even if the house that biodad lives in is in SM's name only)
Ditto! I remember how GG
Ditto! I remember how GG would unilaterally agree to take skids two, three, four weekends in a row with absolutely no input from me as they are "not my children."
Yeah but it's my house and my time, resources, utilities, groceries, etc. etc.
In the early years GG would make sure there was always something "fun" planned for them so NOTHING got done around the house!!
I told him that I want to be able to plan, buy groceries etc for their arrival (iow, I wanted to CONTROL the spending; GG would just grab brand name crap for his "angels")
He'd say "I'll take care of that!" And I'd cringe b/c EvErY weekend, he'd spend all of his paycheque (what little was left after CS came out) on his "angels" then ask me to "float him $50" until next payday.
Finally I had to tell him that I want a weekend with him to myself. That sort of flattered his ego and he actually agreed to it.
Yep my dh ALWAYS ask me first
Yep my dh ALWAYS ask me first if it is not his time he talks to me about. This is dh's time though but I refused to pick him up. Nope not happening. He stay there and annoy his bm til dh gets off. LOL }:)
But at the same time I find so freaking funny that she tried so hard to keep the skids from and now she is almost begging him to come get ss15!!! LMAO!
Your DH is a GEM! Please
Your DH is a GEM! Please tell him that for all of us with biodads who leave us out of any and all decisions related to their previously enjoyed families!!
I predict that soon that will be the case with the Behemoth as the oldest will be 15 beginning of October and the worst (two younger ones) are "maturing" rapidly (SD stb 13; she was acting with a 25 year old attitude back when she was EIGHT!)
And Prince Hygiene 8 1/2 is just downright annoying!
I know I have a wonderful dh.
I know I have a wonderful dh. Wasn't always like this but after about 3 years of marriage the light bulb went on over his head. YAY me!
I was in the same boat as many here, I disengage and let dh take care if his kids I did NOTHING! Not a thing! I didn't tell him that is what I was doing but when he started asking the questions of why I didn't do that or this. I told him that what would he do if he was being told on a daily basis that you are not their parent and you are not allowed to do this or that but then was expected to buy them things or baby sit without being asked and just assumed that you were to be there and do what ever was expected but not be able to even have baby sitter respect. At least a baby sitter can put them in the corner or time out! I just repeated as much as I needed then I saw the light bulb light up and he got it after he had to take care them by himself for a very long time.
Plus I predicted a LOT of things that bm would do and how she would react and what she would say. Dh finally saw I was able to see through her and her crap and that if he called her bluff that she would back down as she knew she would be in a lot of trouble with the law. I did my research and made sure everything we or dh did was something that we could do.
I am laughing, hard, it's
I am laughing, hard, it's been a long road here too purpledaisies, and I often got a 'nod' from MIL as she agreed with me. I often did the eye roll thing behind them all, call me two faced if you wish. We had a huge fight about who can use authority here, issue instructions to the kids, in OUR house and I just stopped agreeing with DH, stopped doing stuff for the SKids and referred them to him on every occasion...I'd had a bellyfull of the entitled little brats! They got the wake up call! There are things I do agree with DH on, many things, but the raising of kids is something a lot of bio parents are clueless about, the onlooker really does see the most! Today's society dictates that we pussy foot around these little cherubs, and our DH's too! That caused me a lot of frustration, resulting in quarrels. I stopped, thought about ME for a change and, you know what? They are going to grow up regardless. They are his kids, let him take the reigns, I handed every single thing over to him regarding their upbringing, expenses, rides etc. No more playing us off against each other! I began enjoying my hobbies again, being ME again. I never broke any bonds with the SKids though, I was still here for them and I still listened to them and did things with them. The second a decision was called for I referred them to their dad, he pretty quickly got sick of their demands though, and realized what I was dealing with while he was oblivious!
I found this unbelievable
I found this unbelievable urge to go to Hobby Lobby or Michaels when the s/kids arrived with no prior discussion with me. Complete with chequebook or dbit/credit card I would be robotically walking towards my car and backing down the driveway muttering "Must get away! Must get away!"
After the 3rd time and subsequent damage to the bank balance (he neer knew if more time away meant more money spend or vic versa...)he asked me why I couldn't get the items later or at the previous visit .... I told him that if he can decide when his kids were coming over without speaking to me then I can go shopping for craft supplies without speaking to him. He argued for a while until I pointed out that I live here and if he feels so strongly that asking me if it is OK if S/kids can come over for extra time when he was paying an arm and a leg for CS then obviously my opinion doesn't matter. The silly thing is 99/100 I would say sure!
I told him this is not about HIS kids but about the running of OUR home. If none of us are on the same page we may as well throw the book away.
LOL oneoffour, now why did I
LOL oneoffour, now why did I not think of that?