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My vent for the day

3LittleDragonflies's picture

Submitted by 3LittleDragonflies on Sun, 05/26/2013 - 8:16pm

Sorry to blog hog but here is my vent for the day.

Lady at Church assumed I was SD's BM. She said "Go to Mommy!!" SD got confused and looked around for BM. I said, "She means me, SD, come here Hon." SD rushed over to me. The lady asked why I wasn't "Mommy". I said "Oh, she's my stepdaughter. She was looking for her biomom." Lady asked the stupidest thing ever... You guessed it...
"Where's her real mom?"

I took a deep breath and said calmly, "I said stepdaughter, not imaginary-daughter. Her BIOLOGICAL mother is in NearbyCity."

Lady understood she'd offended me at least...

Comments

ManagingMom's picture

Submitted by ManagingMom on Mon, 05/27/2013 - 10:38am

Good Grief. You're going to cut a lady for using "real mom"? Seriously? Are you a jerk all the time or just at church?

3LittleDragonflies's picture

Submitted by 3LittleDragonflies on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 2:26pm

Actually I'm regularly told I'm too nice... Thanks for letting me know the work I've been doing to change that is showing! Biggrin

nothinforya's picture

Submitted by nothinforya on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 2:51pm

I was replying to the comment, not you. I think you were absolutely correct.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Tue, 05/28/2013 - 10:39am

I don't like that phrase either. I had to get on my DD11 about it recently. It's just rude. But I don't think people that aren't in blended situations understand at ALL how offensive it is, so I try to blow it off if I don't really know the person. If I DO know the person, I will say something smart ass like "Real mom?? Real what? real ABSESNT, real LAZY, real what? I have raised him, she is a REAL piece of work, but that's about the only REAL thing she has goin on".

My daughter had to write a short story on the things she "loves". She made a list.
My mom
My REAL Dad
My brother
My sister
My stepdad
My dogs

Mind you, her "brother" is her STEP brother. So I asked her why she felt the need to say her "REAL" dad, and told her that would probably hurt DH's feelings if he ever saw that. He does all REAL things with her. Nothing about his role in her life is "fake". She understood and said that is what her dad (my ex) refers to himself as when they are talking about stuff. I get it, he is insecure. My DH plays an active role in the girls lives. But he NEVER tries to replace their dad. They call him by his first name, and they KNOW who their dad is. She apologized. :/

3LittleDragonflies's picture

Submitted by 3LittleDragonflies on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 2:59pm

DH's Stepmom actually gave me the line. She's an adoptive parent to three kids. One of the girls (then 12) asked one day where her real mom was. You'd have thought she slapped SMIL. SMIL took a deep breath and said "Right here. Your biological mother is in Biomothersstate last I knew though." She told me that that is the stupidest phrase to use in this day and age because there are so many stepparents, adoptive parents, foster parents, etc that the only thing real is that they all love their kids.