Dh just scolded me and I'm PISSED!
Bs10,Sd8,dh,and myself are all home together tonite and dh calls from another room "hey hon"?.. Before I could respond sd8 says "yes"..,dh goes "I meant,other hon",(meaning me).. that pissed me off. I promptly let dh know that I am "hon" not sd8. I am tired of this mini wife crap. Dh then scolded me and told me to chill out. Maybe he should've married his daughter. I know I may have pms overeaction but I think I have a point. What say you?
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I would not share a pet name
I would not share a pet name with the SKid. Nope.
^^^ This, ABSOLUTELY, Sweetie
^^^ This, ABSOLUTELY, Sweetie ^^^^
same here..
same here..
EW I agree with furkids!
EW I agree with furkids! SO's pet name is babe but more pronounced beb, and if SD14 responded to it I would probably puke!
Thank you! That is exactly my
Thank you! That is exactly my point. He never calls her "hon",but tried to tell me he does. I have never heard him call her that EVER! I feel that this miniwife needs to be put gently,but promptly in her place. Dh will be sorry if he doesn't get on board.
I think the bigger issue is
I think the bigger issue is that your DH is excusing away many little things, but those many "little things" all add up to a much more important bigger picture.
*Skid should not be responding to "Hon" of you are Hon and she is NOT- it's a powerplay
*DH should not be scolding you in front of any child, ever, over anything. He's creating a divided front, which invites kids to challenge
*DH should not be dismissing your feelings, even if he doesn't understand them.
The way it went down when sd8
The way it went down when sd8 responded to " hon" is I said ,"I'M HON!" and I went into dh's office to see what he wanted. He pissed me off when he said "I meant other hon" which is bull. He only calls me hon and it is my pet name. I am not interested in sharing my petname with miniwife. I did keep the conversation with dh private. I'm sure sd8 heard at least part of it though,because she eavesdrops. I told him we would table this discussion for later so it wouldn't escalate. I'm sick of miniwife and dh needs to put her in her damn place
Well, she got what she
Well, she got what she wanted. Attention and you pissed off (and you and DH at odds).
He may very well call her that when you are not around. If you and your DH ignore her when she responds, she will eventually figure out that when he says, "Hon", he's talking to you.
Skid and I have repeatedly
Skid and I have repeatedly told H to stop calling us both sweetie, because it creeps both of us out.
His response was "I'm not good at nicknames."
To which I said "Then call me by my given fucking name."
Bwwwwwwahahahahhahahahaha. Ac
Bwwwwwwahahahahhahahahaha.
Actually, he's a lot better since we started marriage counseling earlier this year. I brought this up, he started to say how it bothered me because of the mini-wife thing. I said "No H. It didn't just bother me, it bothered skid too. Not only did you ignore my requests, but you ignored hers as well. It was all about what was easy for you."
Counselor asked if skid really said it bothered her? I said "One day he said "Sweetie would you so and so for me (I don't remember what he asked)?" Skid and I looked at each other and looked at him, before I had a chance to respond, she said "Who are you asking? You call us both sweetie. Which is really creepy."
H got super quiet and said "Oh yeah...I remember when she said that."
Counselor said he needs to either find a different pet name for me or abide by my request to be called Shaman.
I get the worst at nicknames
I get the worst at nicknames award!!!! I call my DH baby, I call my children baby, AND I call my dogs baby.
Yep, I have no originality.
Oh OP - I totally understand
Oh OP - I totally understand where you are coming from.
I have been there exactly - even pretty much the same pet name.
One day he was in the kitchen and called "honey?"
SD(about 12 back then) quick as a whip was in there next to him "yes daddy?"
I arrived seconds after her to hear and see her batting her lashes up at him and politely said "I am pretty sure he was talking to me.... *I* am the only "honey" in this house, YOU are Possum, *I* am honey!" and stepped between them.
He says *I*overreacted and she meant nothing.
2 years on we have just split up because she was allowed to continue her stupid power plays and he NEVER ONCE did anything about it.
You need to get your husband to see that what she is doing isn't ok. That he needs to be considerate of YOUR feelings, and YOUR position at his side, and to never put his daughter there even by accident.
I really think all of you are
I really think all of you are overacting. I call hubby sweetheart, my son sweetheart, my daughter sweetheart, my SD sweetheart and my dog drop kicker sweetheart.
The dad loves his kid. Good for him.
ohhhh....and my ex fatherinlaw called all of us hon, including his wife.
You're entitled to your
You're entitled to your opinion. And apparently no one in your life minds that you do this or that your exFIL did it.
We're not overreacting. When you make countless requests to your partner to respect your feelings about a certain matter, and they continue to disregard them, it becomes an issue of respect (or lack thereof) in the relationship.
Yeah...but you know
Yeah...but you know men....remembering pet names is not something most would remember. I really think he did not mean anything buy it and women can at times be over sensitive. JMO
Yeah...hubby use to say "we"
Yeah...hubby use to say "we" when it was something he and his ex did and I would say "we did? I don't remember doing that or being there...etc..etc.." He finally broke the "we" habit.
My DH tends to use the same
My DH tends to use the same pet name for all three of us (doesn't help that OSD and I have the same given name too... :sick: ) and I was going to say something to him about it one day, then I realized that I call my cat a lot of the things I call him, so I had to let it go. LOL.
I'm not into all the little
I'm not into all the little 'pet' names thing. For one , I'm not a pet. Someone calling me 'hon' or 'babe' all the time and from across the house does not appeal to me.
I do however understand where you're coming from on this. Your husband insinuated you and his 8yr old are both his 'hon'. If that is what the guy calls you routinely and an 8yr old responded to the call, it'd take me by surprise and I'd be thrown for a loop by it also. If the word is being used as a term of endearment for his wife, who wants the kid referred to as the same 'name'.
Being you state he never calls his daughter 'hon', it's strange that she responded to it. I suppose it's possible she really didn't hear what he called out, just that he did so and answered. You know the situation with at your home so if SD plays at mini wife, she may indeed have answered on purpose. But as you state he never calls her that, then what's up with his stupid excuse of 'the other hon' bit?
Make it clear to him that if he wants to continue calling you this pet name that he can not use it for the other's in the house. I don't think he meant for her to answer and I don't buy his lame excuse. IMO he was covering for her slight of responding to the endearment so not to embarrass the kid (or not to make her think he doesn't also think fondly of her also, but in a different way) he unintentionally p*ssed you off and ended up making you feel as if he just made his daughter and you equals.
My husband is deaf in one ear due to a horse kick years ago. He's is also getting close (IMO) to perhaps be needing to look into a hearing device for the other ear. I've called the dog by the dog's actual name to come in and get dog's dinner and had husband answer and come. LOL. I think half the time he doesn't actually hear or make out what I've actually said or was just completely tuning me out. He word my voice, not my words and thought he better respond.
I dated a guy once and didn't
I dated a guy once and didn't care for his name. So I called him by pet names. One day he said, don't you know my name. I was embarrassed.
SD does the same thing. He
SD does the same thing. He doesn't call her the same pet names he call me.
I handle it one of two ways
If her and I are in a room and he call from the bedroom (really the only place he's ever in ) and she thinks he's talking to her, I just look at her and say, do you really think he's calling for you. SKids are NEVER allowed in our room.
If the two of them are in a room and he calls me (it's usually cause he needs something), I just ignore it and then say O, I thought you were talking to SD. Then he'll say in front of her, I never call her that.
Lol. When I am pissed at
Lol. When I am pissed at them....loser is the name I use in my mind for DH and SD.