I would agree with her saying she's a fucking idiot mom.

that's about all I could agree with....

It just depends. I do not call myself a single mom as ex has son nearly 50%. When I lived with ex, he would call himself a "single dad" despite only having EOW AND the fact I lived with him and did most of it - his excuse was we were not married, but he knew he was deliberately deceiving!

I think that when most people hear the term "single mom", they think...poor, mom working 2 jobs with no help from the father. And that is usually what most women want people to think if they use the term "single mom" in regards to themselves.

Not too long ago, BM posted that a company was trying to rip her off because they knew she was a single mom. At this time...SS was 19 and in the military!

BM claims this all the time, ummmm....not! She is married, living with a boyfriend/fiancé, has her parents and DH to rely on to do all the parenting that she cannot be bothered with. She barely works, lives off of CS. She is not a "single mom".

I don't consider myself a single mom. I'm not married. But my ex has the kids 50%.

When I think of single mom, I think father is out of the picture completely. But I also don't get upset about someone using the term. They can call themselves whatever they want. It can be deceiving but if someone wants sympathy THAT badly - whatever.

I don't think it matters what people say - the truth eventually comes out. I can say I'm a single mother without trying to get pity and I can also say it when trying to get people to feel sorry for me. There is a difference. Most of the time we figure it out when people are trying to play us.

People want to claim the poor pitiful me card no matter what choices they make. You are a single mom. Your husband is an alcoholic. You have six kids. You aren't educated. You work six jobs. You grew up on welfare. Your baby daddy is in jail. You are in jail. You have a meth problem. The list goes on and on.

At my sons school, I get the "Oh but you only have ONE child - so you don't know what it's like to have 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, kids..." They're right, I don't. But we all make our own choices. Pretty sure you can figure out how the babies come at least by the second one. I don't feel sorry for people who have to bring their six kids to a soccer game. Just like I don't want people to feel sorry for me that I don't have a man who mows my grass and helps me pay the bills or that I have to work alot to or whatever else I do.

I wasn't married to my son's father. I'm not married now. My exhusband and I did not have children together and I'm fairly sure he's not fathering any any time soon if you get my drift. He and his partner could adopt I guess. The man I'm "with" doesn't live with me and we don't share most things.

I am single and I'm head of household. I'm a mother. Whatever that combines to make me, I'm cool. I know when Horsehead says she's a single mother, she means that she has six kids by four men and she can't keep her shit together. Her choices. I don't feel sorry for her.

I laugh. My mother was a "single mom" the entire time I was in high school as well as most of my toddlerhood. She didn't have her mom to watch me, she didn't receive child support or state assistance, and worked her butt off to support us. She made hard decisions. She never got her hair done or went shopping at name brand stores or went out partying. She didn't try to kill herself in front of me. She didn't go get knocked up again while in the loony bin.
I've vowed that I will never consider myself a single mother, no matter what happens with DH and I. If I'm receiving any sort of support from anybody, I'm not single. If I'm sharing custody with DH, I'm not single.

This has always been a touchy subject for me. I was the "single Mom". But my husband died leaving me with a 6 year old.

A single mom, is not someone receiving child support from a divorce and has a biodad helping out in any capacity. BM used this with friends and it was BS since DH had 50/50. She had a week off every other week.

If you get any break at all, you are not a single parent. I had my son 24/7. There was no back up except the occasional play date or begging a grandparent.

Single means not married. So if you're divorced, you're not married. I worked with someone who was living with a man who supposedly paid all the bills. Yet she was always complaining how hard it was being a "single mom". I'm sorry, if you live with someone, are in a relationship with someone, you are not single.

"I think that when most people hear the term "single mom", they think...poor, mom working 2 jobs with no help from the father. And that is usually what most women want people to think if they use the term "single mom" in regards to themselves."

Yep, exactly. You can't call yourself a single mom if you are dating someone, living with someone, are married to someone. Single means one. As in you are the only adult in the household and yeah, it annoys me when some women use it for sympathy and attention. Makes me :sick:

BM says this even though my DH has primary custody of SD and we have her about 95% of the time. She has another child that is suppose to live with her but his father has him about 90% of the time. The child that lives with her, but that is with his dad most of the time, is a regular state aid baby when he is with BM. Meaning she doesn't support him AT ALL. She depends completely on the state to get money to buy ANYTHING for him. If she can't get enough from the state she goes church to church in her town to get the things she "needs".

I'm a "single mom". I have dated a man with kids, but we don't live together and I don't think we will. For the record I only *once* have ever used being a single mom as an excuse. My ex lives 2000+ away from us. I am the only one to take them to the dentist and the doctor and the ortho and the ER when they are sick. I do all of it. Alone. I get money help and don't have to beg for extras. DS wants to do swim team and I cannot afford it, so his daddy pays for it. BUT, I am responsible for all of the transportation. I'm the one teaching him how to drive. I'm the one getting DD clothes---well, I'd be doing that even if we were still married. I'm the only one helping with homework, which becomes a problem with a subject or two and then I'm the one hiring and transporting to a tutor.

Do people overuse the "single parent" status? Yes. But, being the only one there day to day is a lot of work and is hard. Sometimes I do need leeway and an excuse. When my DD was in the ER with the 4th day of 104 fever and abnormal WBC and I was the only parent then you can believe I played the "single mom" card and it worked. I couldn't nor wouldn't do anything but be at the hospital.

Kate

I have an issue with BM calling herself "mom" in any form. She is far from a mom. Single, divorced, married, widowed... doesn't really matter her relatioship status, she just is NOT a mom. Not by my standards anyways.

I take issue with semantics Single Mom vs Single Parent.

I was a single parent (ex not in the picture whatsoever). I don't have an issue with them calling themselves single mom though she isn't much of a mom - more of I have someone who lives in my house on the weekends but she doesn't whatever she wants person.

BM I am sure calls herself a single mom. She is single, but mom is a long shot most of the time. First of all she only has her kids 50%of the time at the most, DH has them the rest so ..... 50% of the time BM has nothing to do but worry about herself.

Second, BM often goes out for coffee or with friends (doesn't drink or party) many of the 50% of the nights she has the skids, so I really don't get that, she leaves SD13 in charge of SS7 - so she isn't being a mom then either.

Third, the way BM keeps the schedule (refuses to allow changes) she never has her kids more than 48 hours at a time, she finds it 'too exhausting' otherwise - her words, "Its too much work to entertain them longer than that"

BM doesn't deserve the title Single-Mom in my opinion.

Ou Bm does tnis. When they went to rehab meetings with their oldest, she would play up the 'single mom' card whenever it suits her. Her live in BF was sitting right there. Yes, they are not married, but have lived together for 10 years+. She doesn't have to pay him any rent so she can spend her money on 'the girls'. Well, she would truly be a single mom if she were living by herself, and had no financial support from her BF. Did it all herself, she is not a SINGLE mom.

Just because your relationship status changed, doesn't mean your parental status changed.

You don't go around saying I am a "married mother." You say I am a mother.

Even if you are divorced or for whatever reason the father isn't around, you are NOT a single mother if another parent is or is attempting to be a part of their child's life.

I was a true single parent. Never married, the father bailed when CSE got too close. My son was 6 months old. He ran, changing jobs and moving a lot until my son was almost 10. Then, finally, we started getting semi-regular CS payments. My son is almost 23, his father never contacted him until he was 18 (over FB) and wonders why my son doesn't want to get together to meet him. FWIW, I never said anything bad about his father to my son. If he asked me tough questions ("Why was dad around for her and not for me?"), I would just tell him he'd have to ask him that question because I didn't know. Then I'd lock myself in the bathroom for a short cry.

I have no strong opinion and have used the term both ways myself, for various situations ...

people can tell who is fishing and who is for real.

I was a single mom.

That doesn't mean I was poor, my son's dad was MIA or that I? didn't have a support system. It just meant that I wasn't married.

Many of us here are not married. Are we really SMs or just the women single dads are living with?

Unmarried moms are single moms. If she is using that for sympathy, she would use the term "divorced mom" for sympathy as well.