My exH actually consulted someone regarding this and they say it is a very normal behavior for 12 year olds to start to lie to try to avoid getting in trouble for something. they can't see past their immediate issue, blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, my dear, sweet angel of a daughter turned 12 and has seemed to go nuts over night. She has taken to lieing - and she's really, really bad at it and she lies about the silliest things.

ExH and i have both been struggling with it. He told her if she lied again, he'd strip all the items from her wall in her bedroom. He found a letter in her backpack addressed to him. He asked her if she had anything for him. She said no. He hinted and tried to give her SEVERAL chances to tell him about the letter. So he had her go through her bag, pull out the letter and give it to him. He proceeded to strip her room for lying. He said he felt silly doing it, because it was such a small thing, but that since he said he'd do it, he followed through.

I asked DD about it and all she had to say was that she forgot about the letter. She didn't really want to talk about it and he has since told me that she REALLY dislikes having her things taken away.

Monday night I asked DD about a report that was due the next day. She told me the teacher gave them time to work on it in class that day and it was finished. End of story, right? Wrong. Yesterday I asked her about the report and if she turned it in or got it back. She said she didn't turn it in. I told her it didn't make any sense, grilled her a bit and she stuck to her story: it was complete, in her desk, she just didn't turn it in. I told her I'd be speaking to the teacher and that if ANY part of her story is off, there would be a BIG consequence and that her friend would not be sleeping over Sat night. She assured me that everything would check out. It didn't. I sent an email to the teacher, the teacher told me she'd speak to her and the teacher emailed me back stating that DD hadn't finished it yet, but that she was going to...

So DD is at it again. The friend wont' be coming over, I'll probably take her ipod, TV and phone away - but I'm wondering if this is too much or just right? She's always been a bit in Lala land and has a bit of ADD (in proccess of getting official diagnosis, but pretty sure she has it as her father does too).

WE've worked with her a lot in the past few years to make sure she does her work, turns it in, etc. And this year she did really, really great for a long while and we thought she finally had it figured out.

But now with the lieing....

Any experience here? I'd love some advice, input, understanding.