Please ignore the fact some of this is whiskey fueled. My exfil's celebration of life was today. Yes it was suggested I not attend. However I miss the ever loving crap out of that family and they are a great bunch of amazing, talented, loving, and intelligent people (something got missed passing that to exh but I digress) ExSMil asked if I would please come she missed me and knew I was likely to be of the most help and level headed, so I went, early to help set up. Make sure food was where it was supposed to be and hot or cold depending on what it was supposed to be. This is my bio's weekend with their dad and shortly as we are setting up my dd springs a hug on me and ta-da kids, exh, exh's gf are all there. Now I am okie dokie with them I hate their personal choices in life and the games his gf thinks we should play and I WON'T. I wish m exh was a better dad and didn't do the male version of MOTY but eh whatever. I help him find what he needs by telling dd where it is and to show her dad. Lots of people start showing the kids want to sit and eat with me, I point them back in the direction of their dad and his gf with a "it's your dad's time he needs you more than me right now and I'm busy helping." I so was not, in fact I was desperately trying to avoid my exh who was hovering in and out of the kitchen where I was and pretending not to look at me ( we haven't made eye contact in 3 years. Might I mention now I'm worried about his health? He's gained a lot of weight. Now when we wed he was 300lbs maybe, he lost a lot got down to 220 mid marriage and kept it off till divorce looks/looked his awesome best at 245. Now he has to be pushing 400lbs!
Anyway I urge exsmil to sit greet from a sitting position rather than trying to catch every single person as they come in and her sister is doing a good job helping her balance who and where and what, exSMil she is handling this all so well, and to sit and eat and she does, kids do well realizing I am just fine and can manage exh stops hovering I'm sure it's pissing off his gf and I'd really rather not have that. Gf's dd comes and chatters for a moment with dd, (I really like exh's gf's dd she's a sweet kid who will likely be preggers in a year or 2 without my dd or someone interfering) then cousins show up ask what I've been up to...... I explain school, how I'm so excited just finished my internship (I'M SO HAPPY!) and it turns out my last shift, worst call ever! I ran the call and called in emergency helicopter it was a horrible tragic trauma, all my exh's family knows the patient, already knew I was there for it. I didn't know they were close so for a moment that was hard for me because it was my first bad call, really bad.
DD comes along informs me something along the lines of exh giving me permission to be there blah, blah ugh no it was open to the public and whatever I take a deep breath and smile, exh's gf had said to him blah blah blah how often will the kids get to have both their parents in the same room (she supposedly encouraged him to tell me I was invited he didn't exsmil did whatever) I'm thinking um we're in the same room at every, chorus concert, kids programs, kid sport event, and parent teacher conference and in passing at other family related events and the only one she's not at is the conference so please go smoke another blunt. I get she's trying to make herself seem the saint to dd who really, really doesn't like her and it's for these bullshit attempts dd who is almost and adult doesn't like her, but I smile and tell dd "I'm glad she was thinking things like this are important for all of us to be involved." *cough bullshit cough cough* I say hi to and hug family I make sure everything is good, exsmil is settled my fav cousin is refusing to come because of some family drama not related to all this so I skedaddle. I text exh (even though I know he is full of shit on how it is I came to be there. "Thank you for being okay with me coming today, please thank gf for being so good about it to, I appreciate it very much I hope she knows that."
I do really, I appreciate her not making a scene, I appreciate the fact that I have stayed away from people I really love very much because she's threatened my livelihood if I didn't and I got to see them today. I appreciate the fact that she looked like a doofis pinching her 14 y/o dd's ass in front of people embarrassing her own child so much she asks if I will adopt her and I appreciate she apparently feeds exh so well on neither of them making any money that he will likely be getting CPR from me in the near future. Thanks for taking him off my hands good lord what the hell was I thinking?
I'm glad for my kids we made that look easy, I'm sure for none of us it was. I was nervous, terrified (4 years and still terrified) exh would yell at me for something, and even though I dislike her as a person exh's gf does seem to try to pretend she's doing the decent thing so I can pretend right back. I'm glad I went, I'm glad for my kids, my ex's family and my ex. His dad deserved us all being there like that, his rule was always "I don't care who comes or who you bring, no drama no problems." it was the standard for family functions and there were always ex's several in fact at family functions. No drama here, anyone want to get that through BM's head for me, she' hasn't stopped texting since she got the kids back SO finally just shut his phone off, her crazy is just beyond mention and I'd rather pat me exh and his gf on the back for today.