Kids have no friggin manners
My parents, especially my Mom, brought us up to have good manners. To say please and thank you and not to interrupt when adults are speaking! I think manners are VERY VERY important in your personal life, in business, in all aspects. Things can be really awful, but a simple please or a thank you can diffuse a bad situation.
I have pretty much disengaged from bringing up manners in front of the skids, unless it is really disgusting or embarassing.
SD14 has the social graces and manners of a slug. Last night, SD14 says "is there, like, anymore, like of the dinner, like that I could have, like unless anyone else wants some, or like, unless you want it for lunch tomorrow..."
I said, "You know, all you have to do is ask, "May I have some more, please?" SD14 just looks at me and SO like a dumb cow and says nothing.
SO asks "Do you want seconds SD14?" She grunts like an animal and says "yeah." Then just sits there.
SO says "bring your plate up SD14!" and she does, and gets served, then sits down, saying nothing.
S0 says "DarkStar would you like more?"
Then I bring my plate and say very loudly "YES, PLEASE I WOULD AND THANK YOU." SO just gave me THE LOOK, then when I got my food I said equally as loudly, "AND THANK YOU, SO"
Later that night he said something about me being snippy to him and I said it was not directed at him, it was directed as SD14 and her utter lack of manners or the ability to speak to an adult! SO says, "I didn't see anything wrong about it."
Really SO???? YOU say please and thank you all the time, but the skids don't need to? Heaven forbid you give them a little positive reinforcement of good manners so they don't sound like ignorant trashy skids......oh wait, too late.
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OMG, you nailed it with this:
OMG, you nailed it with this: SO says, "I didn't see anything wrong about it."
I have chalked this up to most of the things I find completely inappropriate and lacking in the skids manners, behaviour etc - it all comes down the fact that neither one of their parents sees anything wrong with it, therefore there is no correction.
My DH is one of the politest most gentlemanly people I have ever met. He opens doors for me, always says please and thank you, always uses a serviette, his food is always cut into pieces etc etc. Its astonishing his kids are so mannerless.
My kids are corrected and must say please and thank you. They wait to speak until others are done, they don't shout over others, push to get in front, eat with their hands, belch at the table or expect to be served.... Just some of the things the skids really need to learn and never will.
Its too late... I agree. Yet astonishing anyway.
I have problems with SD16
I have problems with SD16 talking over me when I am speaking to another adult. It is so embarrassing!! First of all, what makes her think she should even be listening to an adult conversation and why must she feel the need to speak over me about something completely unrelated to what we are talking about!! She acts like she is 2. My BD4 doesn't even do this!!
Yep, we had the same issues
Yep, we had the same issues with Stepdevil and at first, DH didn't see anything wrong with her chewing with her mouth open, smacking her lips, wolfing her food down at lightning fast speed, begging for 2nds before anyone else was finished and taking more than her fair share, and bitching because we rarely served dessert.
I sat DH down and mimicked some of stepdevil's behaviors when she wasn't there. I asked him, "Is what I'm doing right now acceptable or rude?" He said, "well, you're not showing any basic manners, so I'd consider it rude".
I looked at him and grinned. He looked lost for a second, and then it was like BAMMO! Light bulb. After that day, he would remind SD when she was there to show basic manners or she could take her plate outside if she wanted to eat like an animal.
Sometimes providing them with a visual aid is the best answer!
like...like.....like.....like
like...like.....like.....like....
I want to poke my eyes out with a stick when I hear that word, like, stuck into every, like, sentence at least, like, 6 times.
That in and of itself is bad enough. Then compound it with none of the (what I would term) obvious forms of manners -- please, thank you, excuse me -- and it makes me want to pound my head on the wall.
this is giving away my age
this is giving away my age (per se) but the "Like" thing started with the Valley Girl craze in the 80's
It's one of those cultural things that keeps going.
My dh didn't think that the
My dh didn't think that the kids should have to say please or thank you to us....that it was completely unnecessary.
When BS was like 18 months and I was teaching him I reminded him once to thank his father for something and dh said no, that he didn't have to thank him. That he was his father and thank yours were unnecessary. I looked at him like he had ten heads and said.... So where exactly do you think he is going to learn manners if not at home with us? You get embarrassed as fuck with the skids (then 7and
are rude and don't say please or thank you when we are out in public....we wouldn't have that problem had they been taught from the start.
He got it and now is on board. He doesn't catch every instance where BS needs a reminder, but he's pretty good. Bs4 remembers on his own about 90% of the time. The skids are still rude as can be and have to be prompted to say it every single time.
Same with me manners all the
Same with me manners all the way growning up. My biodaughters have good manners. DH and I have been working on ss but he spent the first 3 1/2 years with BM and family. So we have to constantly remind him. I think those frist few years are crucial learening time for children.
good grief! My BS3 is
good grief! My BS3 is required to say "please" when he asks for something or he doesn't get it. Yes, he's 3, and if he forgets to say please I remind him, but damn it, if my 3 year old can do, a damn 14 year old can. Apparently it's never been in her vocabulary though... much harder to teach an old dog new tricks
This is one of my pet peeves
This is one of my pet peeves and I will not tolerate being rude from anyone.
Skids grunt ah ha, uh ha, HAAAA?? etc....I tell them all the time that I do not understand their grunts, in our home please, thank you, yes, no, and excuse me, I did not hear what you said are the only acceptable responses that need to come out of your mouths. DH and I ignore grunts. BM speaks to them in grunts...SMDH.
Their table manners are horrible also, DH and I work on this one too. Skids act as if food is thrown at them and they have no utensils so they eat with their hands at home with BM. We expect them to use utensils, napkins to be used and in laps, elbows off the table, no laying all over the table, NO DOUBLE DIPPING of communal foods. First time we went out to eat and ordered Queso Dip at a restaurant I almost had to leave the restaurant. One chip, dipped several times into the Queso. I asked for them to put a spoonful onto a plate and they can dip as many times as they want but NOT straight into the dip for everyone...you'd think I asked them to perform brain surgery. DH tried to get them to follow his lead but it was a struggle at best.
SS10 cannot cut his own meat. WTH??? They tell us BM cuts everyone's food before they are served....wow....can you imagine them being 20 yr olds and asking Mommy to cut their meat???