I normally don't post about BM because she's rarely in the picture. SO as primary custody of SS.

But summer visitation is around the corner and of course, BM doesn't want to take SS for the full 6 weeks, because she has travel plans with her new family, including SS' half brother.

SO is very upset about BM taking her new son traveling but not SS16. and also BM is not communicating visitation plans with SO, she's just talking directly to SS16.

At dinner yesterday a Sandals resort ad was on tv, SO asked, right in front of SS if I'd like to go there during Christmas. Since SS would be with BM this Xmas. First SO shouldn't be bringing up couples trips in front of SS until he and I have had a chance to discuss things in private.

Later on I cautioned SO to be careful about sharing any travel plans with SS because BM would likely try to screw them up. That's when the s hit the fan. SO got angry at me and told me how negative I was and I pointed out the obvious and SO didn't want to live a life of secrets. He went on and on about how much I had hurt him by what I just said.

I called BS and stood my ground. I told him there was nothing wrong with cautioning him about BM and I certainly didn't mean to hurt him. I told him he was angry about something else and he was blaming me when he should be blaming BM, SO was taking it out on me. I told him it was okay that he was hurt, but his anger was misplaced. I said BM is textbook, this is what BMs do but we can't let her come between us. That's when SO insisted that no, I was textbook and that I was the one hurting him. I also told him his disrespect was unwarranted and unnacceptable and I will in the future stand up for myself. Yeah, he did not react well to that.

Anyway after I later broke down sobbing because I didn't see how this relationship could continue like his, SO came over and apologized and we made up. Sort of.

We are arguing too frequently these days and SO has been on edge lately. I'm tired of the arguments and I'm tired of the sobbing. And I hate that the only time he shows remorse is when I break down crying.

I'm exhausted and I'm no longer having fun in this relationship. It's a real drag.

I'm trying to figure out ways SO and I can get our relationship back on track and not have our home life taken over by BM's inevitable chain yanking. BM is BM. She will never change. And I don't want SO getting all worked up over BM to he point her crap dominates our lives.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to minimize BM's effect on our relationship I'm all ears.