So SD25 called me the other day. Her and I have an amazing relationship. She introduces me as mom. Lived with is for about 1 1/2 years. We would get in arguments. Get all pissy with each other... And then normally she would come up to me later and ask if she can get me coffee. Coffee is my weakness. Then we would talk it out and get over it. I have a real relationship with SD25. I can't say I love her as my own kid but I do love her as family, as much as I love my nephew.
Anyways.. That is just back story on our relationship.
She calls me all upset. She went over to SD28's (who is her half sister... Same mom different dads, but raised by DH with SD25). SD28, SGD11 were talking shit about me. SGD was running the conversation. SSIL would speak up here and there and try to be the voice of reason. SD28 and SGD would act like SSIL didn't say a word.
I'm not one bit surprised. I told DH. He isn't surprised. SD25 is mad.
But I have to say, I have learned a couple things from Dh. I used to be the type to confront all issues head on. Hear stuff like this and go straight to the issue, person and confront it. DH has taught me it is pointless. It won't change a thing. In fact, SD28 would probably twist it somehow, apologize try to act like it never happened. Get off the phone with me and run her mouth even more. DH told me just let it be. It wouldn't solve anything. And I actually agree. I know on here a lot of people talk about their DHs standing up for them. But honestly, that won't do anything. DH could call up and say this is all BS. Stop talking about my wife. SD28, will get mad at SD25. SD28 will lie to DH or even apologize. Then continue, and I will somehow be blamed.
The best thing in this situation is to continue on with life. We are happy. Nothing SD or SGD do is going to hurt our marriage anymore. They can trash talk. But DH said something that stuck. Whatever their feelings, however they see me... He loves me and comes to me. They don't get to see him very much due to the way they treat me. Not that I have stopped his relationships but I have pulled back and he would rather be with me.
I told SD25 not to let her get to her. She knows how they feel, how we feel. And it has already affected her relationship with her sister. Maybe, one day SD28 will see how many relationships she has lost. Or maybe not. But we only have the power to remove ourselves. Nothing more.
And if DH stands up for me, I'll be blamed. If SD stands up for me. I'll be blamed. So why?
SD has already proven this. Back when DH wasn't talking to SD28, she verbally went after SD25 for standing up for us.." Let me know when you are out from daddy's thumb". It is all so pointless