She is only the mini-wife when we go out somewhere. Why?
When my husband, my sd11, and I go out somewhere, she hangs all over him, wants to sit next to him, basically acts like she is his wife. But at home, she mostly stays in her room on the computer. Don't get me wrong... she is babyish and wants her daddeee to kiss any little boo-boo she can conjure up and she tries real hard to get her daddeeee to take up for her against me, the dogs, the chickens, whatever. But she doesn't act like his date unless we are out somewhere. Any insight as to why?
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Hi AnaR! Yes, things are
Hi AnaR! Yes, things are going pretty well. Of course, we didn't go out at all last weekend since we had a big cookout here at home.
So far we haven't had a friend over to go out with us, but that is a good idea. I will mention it to DH. I know he wants to take sd11 on a weekend fishing trip with us. Maybe things would go better if she had a friend along? But to my knowledge, she only has 1 friend. Hopefully that friend's parents will be open to letting their daughter do some things with us.
But now that I think about it, she does have her cousin with us a lot. (The little girl is 4 years younger but they play together a lot. DH and cousin's dad are friends. BM and cousin's mother are sisters. Both BM's are ex's now, but the dads have remained friends.) It doesn't really seem to make a lot of difference. SD11 still wants to sit next to daddeeee.
She doesn't seem to have an
She doesn't seem to have an issue when I'm out alone with her. The last time I took her to the mall she seemed very happy to be in a crowd in public.
I can't offer any insight,
I can't offer any insight, since stepdevil14 was mini wife EVERYWHERE. Sitting at the dinner table at home, watching tv, a NHL hockey game, a restaurant, the mall, the lake, the CAR - just everywhere.
SD11 is mini-wife in the
SD11 is mini-wife in the boat, at restaurants, any store or public place. Occasionally she will sit in DH's lap at home (like this weekend when she hit her head), but mostly she saves her clinging to DH for when we're out together.
Not sure why she is out in
Not sure why she is out in public but not 100% of the time. My SD14 was 100% of the time. If DH got up to use the bathroom in our apartment, she'd follow and wait by the door for him! I mean, it was BAD.
Maybe she's just trying to take your place out in public? "MY DADDY" kind of possession. If SHE is holding his hand showing solidarity to the world, YOU can't...
I would lose it if my SD
I would lose it if my SD followed him to the bathroom. That is just nuts.
Anne - I took DH and SD14 to
Anne - I took DH and SD14 to a friend's daughter's sweet 16 party a few months after I started dating him. SD was 12. The party was at a small recreation center in one of their party rooms. There was a DJ, a food table and several tables for guests to sit. Most of the kids were up dancing and having a great time. SD had met the birthday girl, her family and several of the other kids that we at the party already as they are all my good friends.
SD had to sit on DH's lap while we were at the table waiting to get into the dinner food line, then after dinner, he got up to use the restroom (located in the hallway) and she got up to follow him. He said "I'll be right back I'm just going to the bathroom, sit here with RedWingsFan" and walked away. I watched as she stared at him while he walked away. She continued to stare at the doorway. He was gone maybe 3 minutes? I watched as her face got red, then she started fidgeting. She asked me no less than 6 times when he'd be back. When she saw him appear in the doorway, she got up and RAN to him, in tears, saying "THERE you are Daddddyyyyyy". I was so embarrassed. As was DH.
OMG. That's insane. I
OMG. That's insane.
I seriously don't like to even imagine my own wedding reception because of this issue. I can only imagine her clinging to him with that dumb grin on her face and him hovering her to help her count carbs and do her insulin calculation for her. I honestly do not think we could have a reception where she sat in her chair and wasn't all needy and him requiring her to grow the ef up. Seriously, that's how my wedding goes down in my head.
Anne - we got married out of
Anne - we got married out of state just the two of us (plus DH's 2 best friends to perform the ceremony and take photos). We then had a small reception for family and friends a couple of weeks later so I could be sure my daughter and mom from another state could attend. SD got herself uninvited to this reception by DH because she threw a temper tantrum allllll pissed off that we were getting married and she didn't want us to.
I know DH would've wanted his daughter to share that day with us, but he told me afterwards that he was glad she wasn't there causing a scene and drama. Especially since it was 105 degrees in the shade that day and I had bronchitis!!!
Funny, I thought about doing
Funny, I thought about doing the same thing. Going somewhere else, just the two of us then doing a reception here later. But I live in a place where people actually come to get married. So it's a little ridiculous. And the reception is where I know she will act out. Of course, we won't be able to not invite her because the other kids would be there.
I am also thinking she will likely be very upset when announce a wedding. On the other hand, SD14 has asked me if she can help plan the wedding. I love her and was totally psyched that she wants to be a part of the planning process. She has great taste too.
SD 10 is like that. She wants
SD 10 is like that. She wants the audience and the attention. Extended family gatherings are the worst.
YSD is like this. She's not
YSD is like this. She's not very clingy at home because she's mostly got her face in her laptop. But she does have to sit next to him at the dinner table. When we go out, she is super clingy. She does have some social anxiety but I don't think that's it. It always seems to be a competition thing with me and the other girls. It's like "See, I'm holding Daddy's hand and you are not". She makes a big show of it, smiles ear to ear and makes certain everyone notices.
Just thought of somewhere she
Just thought of somewhere she IS very clingy at home and that is in the pool. She wants to wrap herself around DH from the back and have him ride her around the pool constantly. Not looking forward to getting the pool cleaned and back in order if she is going to do that this year.
^^^I could've written that as
^^^I could've written that as well. 2 summers ago, we all went to DH's apartment pool and SD was ALL over him, pretending she couldn't swim, climbing on his back, daddy watch me, play with me, etc. She was 12, not 3. He'd get out, she'd get out. He'd get in, she'd get back in and it would start all over again. My daughter just looked at them like "WTF?????"
OMG. Me too! And now we have
OMG. Me too! And now we have a pool. So I get to watch him go out there and set up the cushions on the loungers all nice for the kids. And then they get in the pool and she turns into a monkey. Seriously uncomfortable watching her with her boobs all over his back.
One time when we went out to
One time when we went out to dinner with SO's daughter, I think she must have been 14 at the time, we just started to do things with her as a couple. We went to a restaurant and she sat down on one side of the table and moved way over so SO could sit next to her, he slid in beside me, and said "I'm going to sit by my date". Wow...you should have seen her face. She was shocked. But that was the last time she looked like that, she got used to it. She used to get mad when SO couldn't remember who he saw a movie with or was at a particular place when something happened, he would say to her 'remember when we were at ...". And it was me he was there with...she would get sooo mad! She'd say 'can't you even remember who you were with?' She still likes to pout when she comes home from college if everyone is not fawning over her (including her older sister). But I think she is finally starting to grow up, got her first BF, boy did that make a difference.