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which fight is the right fight?

young but wise's picture

Submitted by young but wise on Fri, 03/01/2013 - 4:03pm

As posted before, I have been having a really hard time with having to drive all the time. Today BM text SO and TOLD him that he could drop SS off at 330. SO asked her if she could since it is her day to do it and she hasn't in about 3 months. She text back saying, "I just told you to drop him off at 330, what don't you get about that? I call the shots, not you. My bf is sick and i don't feel good at all." So we dropped SS off. We get there and she isn't even there. She pulls in, and puts SS directly from our car into hers. SO says her thought she was sick. She said "i am but i still jabber to ruin my errands..." (but can't pick up SS) long story short, SO and i got into a fight because i put out an attitude about having to bring him home and asked him why he can't just say no, we can't. His response was, "its not worth fighting, I would rather just bring him home then fight over this." My question is, wouldn't you rather put up the fight with your ex, fighting for what's right, than fight with you SO (and your dd's mother) because she wants you to stand up to her? To me, it would be with not fighting with SO and standing ground with ex. Ugh so now i am the bad guy. You would rather fight with me and avoid her, then just stand up for yourself and maybe fight. Guess what, you choose to fight with me, whom you are sick with all weekend, when i am beyond angry with you. Oh and now you want to know why i am being short with you?

Comments

young but wise's picture

Submitted by young but wise on Fri, 03/01/2013 - 5:06pm

Topht now he isn't on the insurance for or car cause we have to pay it off first. So i get to drive. Even when i won't have to, that is still half am hour that he ideas gone, when we could be spending time together. W rarely get any time together without SS. On top of that, it is atoll affecting me because the had money comes out of our money as a family.

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Fri, 03/01/2013 - 5:40pm

This man is using you. You DO NOT have to be his driver. Let him get where he needs to be on his own. There must be some good reason he is not on the insurance and I'm sure it isn't your fault.

Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Fri, 03/01/2013 - 8:24pm

Learn to say NO, it's not YOUR responsibility to transport THEIR kid. He can choose fight with you, or fight with the ex. Set your boundaries and under no circumstances adjust them. He can't drive is not your problem, if BM refuses to get her kid then guess the kid gets to spend extra time with dad till she gets the picture. Even if she threatens to call the cops they won't do anything if she's just refusing to come get the kid, dad isn't keeping the kid she is just being lazy. Easy way not to fight with the ex? Don't answer the phone!

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 03/01/2013 - 8:45pm

"I just told you to drop him off at 330, what don't you get about that? I call the shots, not you.

That would just about do it for me. "Come and get your son, bitch."

And, sorry, but your SO not being able to drive is not your problem. What would he do if you were not in the picture?

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Fri, 03/01/2013 - 9:44pm

Dh did the driving for 12-13 yrs. BM lives 25 miles away.from us.
It was in his CO that he provided transportation.

Within a yr of having that CO changed to state guidelines that dictated BM do have the driving SS quit coming from the weekend.

And any time SS would have to come all the way to our house for weeknoght visits he refuses to come.

Follow the court order or know the state guidelines.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Fri, 03/01/2013 - 11:16pm

My es hb is the same.I feel like an idiot, I do so much for him and he gives me the s..ts all the time.