Touching step moments in my life...and assorted other crap...
Life has certainly been busy and crazy in SAF-land.
SD19 is moving along in her pregnancy, happily posting ultrasound and baby bump pics for all to see. My ILs are posting things like "what a cute patootie" and "adorable" on the US pics, which I don't get... I mean, it looks like a salamander right now, and is decidedly NOT cute. Shrugs. Of course, the BIG news in recent weeks is that...SD is having a girl! God, I hope she turns out JUST LIKE HER MOTHER. Haha, that would be poetic justice, or karma, at its finest!! For the record, SD wanted a boy. Probably because she figured a girl would steal her attention away. SD has been on an attention-seeking power trip since I met her years ago. There is ALWAYS some crisis/event that requires every friend and family member to focus on SD.
Sigh.
And it appears we will be taking a trip to SD's state for the birth of DH's first grandchild. Should be interesting. I broached it with him last night, and requested that he continue to work on their relationship BEFORE the baby comes and we're up there. I don't want to make that trip just to have SD snub him in front of BM, my ILs, and BM's family just because she's a bitch and she can.
As for other step-news... my heart is warmed. I know so many of you think I'm a judgemental, off-my-rocker bitch and no NOTHING about stepparenting (especially since my suggestions are often scoffed at) , but... my life is proving to me that while some choices I've made have been very difficult, they are finally starting to pay off.
My DS18 and DH went to dinner last night. The rest of us had other plans or didn't want what they wanted, so they went off together (not the first time.) As they were driving home, my DS told DH that he has been more of a father to him than both his biological father and his adoptive father (XH) have ever been. DH and I have been together 5 years. I think it really made DH warm and fuzzy. It's not like he's raised him. (BTW, my SD22 -from XH- has MY DH listed as her stepfather on FB. She has told the both of us that she considers him to be her stepfather, just like her *actual* SF, the one married to BM.)
We will be meeting SD22 in Vegas in a couple of weeks. I'm excited, but stressed and have a ton of stuff to get done before then. SD is SOOOO excited!! She is texting, emailing, FBing, you name it. Super excited to see all of us. My DH, who is an amazing man, has accepted SD22 into "our" family just as if she were actually my kid. We are going to enjoy a big family vacation...and it will be comprised of me, DH, SD22 from another marriage, and my 3 bios. Family isn't about blood and marriage...it's about LOVE.
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Heartwarming and I quite
Heartwarming and I quite agree - family is about love. I hope LV is wonderful!
I'm not sure. Should be
I'm not sure. Should be interesting. Her baby daddy REALLY wanted a little girl so she could be "daddy's little girl" but we'll see.
They all live with BM.
Stellar parent that she is.
Thanks, ladies. I know
Thanks, ladies.
I know sometimes people read my posts and think I'm either full of shit or that I have the "perfect step life." (If I had a nickel for everytime I read THAT...)
It's not always been easy. I dealt with a difficult BM, a SD who knew I "wasn't her mother," etc. I made it a point to make SD every bit a part of our family from day one. She lived with BM as primary for the first 12 years of her life, with us EOW and 1 day a week. I waited holidays and birthday parties (even for my own bios!) until she was with us.
When we hit the teen years and my marriage to her father ended, our relationship was REALLY tested. Her mother told her to live with her father or she was coming to get her and it would be a court battle. Her father wanted her to have nothing to do with me, and SD and I began fighting and arguing...as teens and parents can do. She left to live with her father. She eventually learned who he really was, and came back to me. At that point, I talked to BM and reasoned with her to let her stay because she was in HS and it wasn't fair to her. Fortunately for SD, at that point BM had found a man and they'd married, and they really didn't want to deal with a minor child in their home, so BM didn't fight it. She didn't pay CS, of course. I supported SD, and we learned to work our relationship out like a kid and parent should.
It's been years of struggles, and learning, and making mistakes... honest. I just always tried to think of HER and not me and my wants, needs, etc. I chose to take a back seat to what my kids needed, SD included. Now that they range from 12-22, I find I have no regrets. My XH is MIA. SD is working on a relationship with BM. My bios have a terrific relationship with their older sister.
I couldn't ask for more.
That's very noble of you and
That's very noble of you and goes back to what I constantly say about mothers. A mother, be it biological or otherwise, will always put the child first. Evident by the fact that your SD chose to stay with you. Good job SAF. Have fun in Vegas and go check out the Cirque de Soleil shows out there. They are awesome.