So has FINALLY finished his degree and is now job hunting. We are aware that most likely his 50/50 custody is not going to be able to remain. We are actually considering pushing for custody of SDs M-F (possibly EOW as well if BM won't agree to take them every weekend), transferring them to the school district where I teach (next year SD13 will be in my building and in another year after that SD12 will be there, too). Overall, with BM getting a new job where she informed SO she will need him to "take them more on her time if she has to travel," and with the structure of our jobs/lives/etc it just seems getting more custody of them would be better. We have also been informed by SD12 that she really isn't happy at BM's (issues with BM's bf's daughter, sharing rooms, bf's kids "running the home," things of that nature). SD13 is rather indifferent but would probably choose to be at BM's if given the option because we have more rules, etc at our home that she doesn't like. I know they are both of the age where they may be asked where they would prefer to live. SD12 would definitely say she wants to keep it 50/50 because she likes seeing her parents "equally" and also doesn't want to hurt someone's feelings by "choosing one over the other." And we know it's going to be a battle since SD13 told us BM said she refuses to have them less (odd she says that AFTER she tells SO she needs him to take them more on her time due to travel with her new job! Contradict much?!). And we are aware most courts give custody to the mom over the dad. We don't have anything really "bad" on BM to play our side up "better" for SDs. Mostly she has done things (put them on meds, taken SD12 to see a therapist and not informing SO of appointments, not going to P/T conferences and telling SO they are bull----, signing them up for activities and not discussing it with SO ahead of time) that aren't detrimental but basically doing some stuff without consulting SO. In the 4 years I've been with SO, BM has moved 4 times... we've moved once! We just believe there's more stability at our home for them and that may help them to be more successful in school and life (BM seems to think they need to be on ADD meds as soon as they get a low grade --- she's not willing to work on any organizational skills or talk to the schools, or anything that can be tried before meds!). SO has also stated he will not ask for more CS than he already gets from her (it's not even $200/mo!) and he will pay for the majority of their activities/things since he wasn't able to do that much the past 4 years while he was going back to school.

So that's the shortened background of what we're shooting for. Here's my question: If we can't work anything out with BM on our own and we have to go to court, where do we file? They have 50/50 legal/physical joint custody. However, we don't live in the same county as BM ... so how is it determined where you file? Where they originally filed when they got a divorce? If that's the case we are thinking we're outta luck because judges in that county ALWAYS side with BM's!