A story about my family...
When I was 19, my dad married a 21 or 22 can't remember her exact age woman from Thailand. Behind her back, I call her the mail ordered stepmommy, not to be mean or anything but that is what she really is and I think it is funny. I ADORE my stepmom, even though she is more like a sister to me then a parent. She is after all only a few years older than me. We do stuff together and just have a blast. I also know that she very idealistic and loves my dad a lot. I guess she thinks their story is the most romantic of all, meeting through love letters and what not. My dad loves her too and even though they now have a son together, they are still each other's world.
With that being said, my brothers will have absolutely nothing to do with her. My elder brother went as far as to try to hook our dad up with another woman after he was married!! My younger brother went as far as to spread lies about them to each other in hopes of splitting them up!
There wasn't much my dad could do about my older brother because my older brother was out of the house. So he straight up told him that he was married to SM and he had better to get over it. My younger brother on the other hand was going up there every other weekend. My stepdad pulled him aside and basically said, "You can NOT act this way. SM and I love each other and are very happy. If you are going not going to accept her enough to just be polite then I am not going to get you on the weekends anymore until you are."
Dad stuck to it too. He and my younger brother has only talked briefly during my wedding and a few other times and that is it over the past ten years.
Even though my birthmom and her family and brothers hate Dad for what he did. I don't and I supported him in his decision. This REALLY pisses my mom off. Now that I am a step-parent myself, I can really put myself in her shoes and know what it must have felt like. So I am very VERY proud of my dad for standing up for her and I wish more dad's would do that.
- Fransica's blog
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Hi, I am proud of your dad
Hi, I am proud of your dad for doing that too. :). That is fantastic and huge!!!
It sounds like the "kids" in
It sounds like the "kids" in the situation are grown. OP is the one close to the SM's age & she isn't bothered by the situation, so I'm not sure why everyone else should have any say.
We owe ourselves happiness...not the rest of the congregation at our church & not our grown children. They are all accountable for finding their own happiness & not concerning themselves with what everyone else is doing.
Why should the rest of the family be upset if OP's dad is happy?
When there are younger kids involved (especially teenagers who, by nature, clash with everyone around them) & a parent hooks up with someone so near their age, I certainly can understand it being uncomfortable. But when the kids are grown, parents are accountable for finding their own happiness. If a girl half his age is what does it for him & they're happy together, creepy or not, it's no one else's business.
I didn't see anything about
I didn't see anything about cheating or ditching his first wife. Did I just overlook it?
If that's the case, then regardless of age, it throws things in a completely different direction. It's my opinion that a relationship that begins with cheating will forever create contention between parents & their children.
I also didn't see anything about her being a "compliant obedient wife". I just read that they were happy together.
Grown children have no business meddling in their parents marriage. That's what brings a lot of people here, to ST.
When they're grown they have their own lives & relationships to focus on...or should.
"She rather deliberately
"She rather deliberately skirted past her parent's marriage"
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It would create better situations if more kids would take the position of skirting past the details of the PARENTS marriage.
Do you take issue with the fact that OP has a positive outlook toward the woman her dad chose to marry?
The problems between your dad
The problems between your dad and mom, are just that their problems. Your brothers may have felt abandon by your dad. Which may have caused resentment on their part. Just leave it alone, no matter what you say will not change how they feel. I'm glad that you get along with your SM (friend) because she probably really needed a friend. Just think how unhappy your dad would be if he had never meet her.
Just an FYI, My dad and mom
Just an FYI, My dad and mom have been divorced for about 15 YEARS before my stepmom came into the picture. My mom is always remarried. There were no affairs at all so thank you so much for assuming that. Do you know what assuming does???
My dad has a friend from Thailand who lives in our area. My dad was tried of being single but could not find the one. I understand that. We Americans (including myself) can be outspoken and quite frankly bitches (and proud of it.) My dad's friend said give me your address and I will send some to my cousins in Thailand, if nothing else, at least you will have a penpal.
It worked out that my dad and stepmom got along really well in the letters and decided to meet. The rest is history.
I agree with the person above. If my dad is happy, my step mom is happy, and their bioson together is very happy, then why in the hell should I start up problems because there is an age difference and because she is from Thailand? Are we American women that much better than them?