Random text from SD14
I have been totally disengaged from SD14 for several years now. Not even a simple greeting or eye contact when she is physically present. Shno longer asks for rides, buying things, etc.
SD14 sends me a text out of the blue yesterday. "I left a trash bag on the porch. I'll get it when I come back."
I still had her contact saved in my phone. The last text I saw was 2022. 3 years ago! No happy birthdays, Merry Christmases or anything inbetween. But she randomly texts me about a trash bag???
Her room was FILTHY last week and I told DH I was going in her room to collect dishes/utinstils for the dishwasher. I'm thinking maybe DH said something to her about cleaning up and this was a passive aggressive response? I was just surprised to see and gave a simple response "Your dad got it." No questions asked.
SD14 is typically manipulative, so I'm trying to think ahead here!
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Comments
Sounds like you handled it
Sounds like you handled it well. It sucks that it's such an ordeal to clear her room of dirty dishes. If your DH or SD aren't comfortable with you being involved in that, DH needs to be the one to make sure the room isn't a toxic waste petri dish.
Ew, yes. It's a biohazard.
Ew, yes. It's a biohazard. She asked DH a few weeks ago "who is going in my room when I'm at BM?" Maybe it finally clicked if she doesn't want anyone going in her room, then maybe she should clean it!
"who is going in my room when
"who is going in my room when I'm at BM?"
"You mean apart from Rentokil?"
Disney Dads would probably
Disney Dads would probably rather live with roaches and hantavirus than tell their little poopsies something that might actually teach them something.
DH: "Well, I ask her and
DH: "Well, I ask her and remind her to clean it."
Me: "Obviously she doesn't listen to you!"
The spineless "Ask and remind." model does not work.
With these types of kids, the tell, then yell, or even better, the lower your voice and draw them in if there is not instant action "Get off your ass and do it now or I'll pack your crap and throw it all out!" is far more effective. Particularly if they test that promise. If they do, empty their toom, take the door off, and make an escalating life of abject misery their plight until they pull their head out of their ass. The bark that startles the crap out of them when they go into ignore mode or zombie out on their phone is what some of them need go motivate action.
IMHO of course.