Skids acting up again
SS12 and SD10 are nearing the early teenage years. Thanks to Toxic BM buying her 9 and 10 old (at the time) phones with SIM cards they are acting older than their age. Unlimited and unparented access to social media, all hours of the day/night access and yes they both have seen porn. This also comes with air of entitlement, and 'I am mature for my age' crap. It's hard to see and cope with. They don't bring their phones to our house so DH has no control of it what so ever.
SD and SS attitudes have been amping up this week, and it's not even our week. DH got a message from the school regarding SS behaviour. He got in trouble in class repeatedly and when the teacher finally told him to walk to the office, he swore at her and then never even arrived at the office. SS has a meeting with the principal today about this incident today I believe. Not sure if BM is attending. Knowing her lack of parental responsibility, probably not.
Then last night, I was putting DD4 to bed and came downstairs to flop on the couch next to DH feeding DS1. DH handed me his phone as apparently SD texted him (lol she never texts DH only if she wants something) and I thought oh here we go. So she STATED that she was invited to a sleepover and started rattling on how BM can pick her up from school as it will save DH an hour drive to get her and take her. DH replied with he doesn't know what world she lives in where she can organise herself a sleepover without even asking him if she can go, and then said at this stage it's a no, and he will discuss when he picks her up the day before.
Well, SD didn't like that. She responded again with asking is he saying no because she didn't ask, then tried guilt tripping him saying 'alll her friends are going and she will be the only one not going'. DH asked who's sleepover is it? It's a girl that's not a nice girl (I have seen her run away from SD and she not know where they were) plus she's SS age so these girls are 11-12 years old, plus DH doesn't know her parents or where she lives or basically know her at all from a bar of soap. SD pleaded she needs to know if she can go as she's coming back here and won't have her phone to communicate on how to organise herself to go.
He stuck to his guns and repeated its still a no, and he will discuss it when he picks her up. He got no response.
He then vented to me saying, it irks him how they have no idea how to use manners when they communicate to him at BMs. He also said it's not up to a 10 year old to organise herself to go to a sleepover ASSUMING she has free right to go. He vented he has never heard of this girl, she was in SS class so she's older, and he has no idea where or who or what about the situation as her parents haven't contacted him themselves to ask.
I just nodded and said yep red flags and they don't use manners because they don't have respect. So wonder how pick up will go. DH is fuming about SS and already punishing him by not playing cricket this weekend and not allowing him to play his PlayStation. I'm bracing myself for a rocky weekend.
- floralsm's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Unlimited and unparented
This absolutely breaks my heart. The damage that such young exposure to porn causes is horrifying. It's no wonder SS is already being so hostile and defiant, particularly if the teachers, principal, etc are all women. He's probably already internalized that women don't deserve respect. Thank god they don't bring their devices to your home, I can't imagine trying to supervise what they're doing online with them already being so out of control.
And I hope your DH sticks to his guns about the sleepover. Major red flags that the parents involved didn't reach out directly. Plus SD needs to learn that she can't just make demands regarding plans that effect more than just her.
Yes it is very very sad. I
Yes it is very very sad. I have come to terms with the fact these skids are already the people they are growing up to be and I'm just protecting my bios as much as I can from it. The saddest thing, it's not their fault, they just have a shit mother who is lazy, manipulative, narcissistic and selfish, so parenting to her is giving them phones so when they walk the streets by themselves they have contact to her incase they need her, and they can organise themselves to talk to friends to see them. SS and SD is at a friends house sleeping over most weekends or home alone due to BM going out drinking as she's single again.
When they are at our house, they don't agree with our parenting and don't understand why they have to do the things we ask them. Simple normal tasks like, keep themselves clean, rooms clean, do homework and help dad clean up kitchen after dinner. We are so mean for making them do these simple tasks apparently.
I totally agree about SS treating women like crap. I Have told DH this so many times. SS swears at SD and makes her do everything for him, not so much at ours but definitely at BMs, and he treats his female teachers horribly and only respects the males, It's really bad and agree exposure to how women are sexualised in social media and definitely porn, at an immature age is damaging for sure. And yes, DH is having a firm word with SD for this behaviour, and ensuring she respect me when she's here. I've had so many Issues with her lately.
At that age they don't
At that age they don't understand that the rules you have are for their benefit. BM is basically letting them do whatever they want, which makes her seem like the fun/cool parent. To them your rules must seem stifling. They don't have the maturity to see the unintended consequences of having no rules (such as re. the porn situation discussed above, the importance of spending time with family and partaking in household activities/chores with your parents, effects on grades, etc. She is preventing them from developing healthy habits and exposing them to things beyond their age. And again from a kid's perspective, they don't care about all that. They just want to do whatever is fun to them plus BM is undermining your husbands authority so it is really a losing battle
At that age they don't
Dup
Good luck this weekend! Whew!
Good luck this weekend! Whew!
Yeah, keep us posted. At
Yeah, keep us posted. At least it doesn't seem like your DH is the skid-groveling type who will just let them have their way.
Yes will keep you posted! The
Yes will keep you posted! The last text SD sent it was so much like BM saying things like 'I just assumed you would say yes as it is my friend' and 'I was being nice' like passive aggressive shit it must have just pissed him off.
BM is letting Them do whatever they like
She has no control over them. Best friends relationship . The problem is. When they get older and start getting into serious trouble. She will not know how to handle it and try to pond the kids off to there BF and you. Who are totally out of control and can not be fixed. Unless you want to quit your jobs and stay 24/7 with them.
disengage from all of this. There nothing you can do. Buy a case of pop corn. And watch the show . I feel sorry for DH. But he married this woman.