BM is pissed
DH and I booked a cruise for SS12's spring break next year. Since we know how BM operates, we booked a cruise that fell smack dab in the middle of SS' spring break, with two days on either side as a buffer for travel. BM knew months ago that we were considering this.
Because we are traveling internationally with SS and DH does not have legal custody and/or share the same last name as SS, the cruise line advised us to have a consent form from BM so there aren't any issues with international border control. It isn't a requirement, but more of a precaution for ease of travel.
DH emails BM tonight outlining that we booked the trip that was previously advised and DH provided her a travel consent letter we found on Google, prefilled out, basically stating "I, BM Name, Mother, allow SS Name, Date of Birth, to travel with DH Name, Father on x dates to x locations for cruise travel." It outlined all travel dates and ports of call. Pretty damn self explanatory.
BM emailed DH back tonight and you can tell her tone is pissed. She stated that she didn't like DH's travel consent letter and the fact he pre-filled it out, so she will be filling out her own and mailing it to DH next week. I'm sure it will be riddled with the fact that she is sole custodial/legal parent and DH has no rights outside of visitation (which isn't true because our CO allows DH the right to make medical and childcare decisions on our time which is really all we need anyway). She also stated that her, GF, and SS ALREADY have plans for the day before pick-up and the day of pick-up, so we will need to maintain the 3 p.m. pick-up time outlined in the CO. Yup, our BM has "plans" on a random Friday night, 6 months from now. DH chuckled because we knew she would be this way and already planned everything within the time-frames of our visitation to ensure she can't screw it up. DH will be sending BM's consent letter to the cruiseline once it is received to ensure it passes the sniff check so we don't have any issues. He will also be including a copy of the court order and SS' birth certificate, that way there are no issues. Gotta love BM's over-inflated sense of self-importance and golden uterus syndrome.
DH and I told SS about the cruise tonight and he was so excited! We planned strategically on our part in telling him, that way if BM tries to mess around with our trip or speaks negatively about it, SS already knows and is excited so he can see who the real problem is.
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Comments
While it is awful that you have to go to such lengths to
While it is awful that you have to go to such lengths to ensure you can take SS on a trip, you did a great job figuring all the angles! I'm sure she is mad because while she promises SS all these trips, she never takes him on any of them - and now you will be taking him on a wonderful cruise. Good for you!
Awesome!
Crossing all you T's and dotting all your i's.
Sad most of us in the step world have to do this but safe and over planned is the way to go.
Enjoy your trip!
BM will always be pissed
Unless she is controlling everything she will be pissed. Nothing you can do about that. Well played with the cruise 2 dats after he comes abd two days before he has to go back. Unfortunately BM knows you won this one. And will fight back.
Telling SS about it and telling him about getting ready, to do YouTube videos on the ship. What's going on ..on the ship. Will keep him in the mood. He can eat pizza 24/7. Choice of lunch and dinner ect
'Good luck. It's will be hard for BM to tell SS no. As tine goes on
she thinks she's being the
she thinks she's being the boss but you two made her the bitch. good for you for controlling the situation.
My breeder took our bio on a
My breeder took our bio on a cruise several years back
All he needed was birth certificate (which of course he didn't have and needed me to get him a copy because he's too clueless to figure out how to get it himself. Should have told him "no figure it out yourself I'm busy" but I'm sure he wouldn't have and would have turned bio against me "see how difficult your mom is and now you can't cruise with us" so I reluctantly helped him) so check with lawyer if you have one to consult with
The BM y'all deal with seems like a really annoying person
Luckily, DH has SS' birth
Luckily, DH has SS' birth certificate and a copy of our court order so he will be bringing those. I don't think BM even realizes that DH has his own certified copy of SS' birth certificate from the county clerk. Actually, DH's version is technically the "official" birth certificate because it has DH's name on it where BM's copy doesn't because the DNA test wasn't completed when BM filled out the paperwork and DH refused to add his name at birth without the DNA test. DH had his name added later and I don't think BM ever checked to see if there was an updated version. The cruise line recommended the consent letter more as a precaution.
All i have to say is lol to
All i have to say is lol to BM. She chose to have a kid with him and cashes those CS checks. Tough sh!t, SS is going. She will probably try to fill his head with nightmare stories of norovirus and kidnapping and storms (oh my!), but you guys will have a blast.
If you are going royal
If you are going royal carribean you may be overthinking the whole process. The cruise line does not need a consent letter from the parent blah blah. They have one that you can find on their site. It's pretty basic and needs to be notarized... and SS will need a passport..
That's it.
We have taken SOs friends daughter (14 at the time) on a cruise before. Zero problems. They didn't even check their own form they require. I did all the pre travel stuff though prior... like check in prior to the cruise, take a pic (they use facial recongization at the port) so we only had to basically scan our passports.