I've been laying pretty low on the posting front because I had a sense that my ex might know about this page - not sure. But, about 6 weeks ago, I noticed he did something strange that caused me to batten down the hatches here, on Facebook, in my cycling app and on reddit.

As y'all already read, he used to have 3 profiles on the same dating platform: one for the mountain house and 2 for the metro area where we met. About 6 weeks ago, he changed the location for his main profile to the neighborhood where I have a house - where my sons currently live. This location is about a mile from where he has a house. Changing it would not change his search results and would NOT make him look more desirable. His zipcode/neighborhood and mine in the same town are both blue collar neighborhoods. There is no advantage. My therapist is certain that many of his dating profile antics have been to get a reaction out of me. Okay. I was sufficiently creeped out - enough to make my cycling app private. Within days of me making my cycling app private, his main dating profile was taken down. There could be many reasons for this, so I'm not saying there is a correlation.

However, at the 6 month mark and the 1 year mark from when the proverbial sh*t hit the fan for us in 2023, almost to the day, he took other two profiles down. Odd coincidence? Probably. But, it was also the same week as the anniversary of his mom's passing.

More to the point, or should I say, MOST importantly, I have been as busy as a one-armed wallpaper hanger.

As of this morning, I have logged over 800 miles riding my bike since the beginning of the year. I also have a handful of new friends.

I booted Mr. Allergic to Cats out of my life after some creepy comments he made on multiple occasions. I have distanced myself from Mr. Cutie Pie mainly because I found myself in a bit of a friend triangle with a mutual friend from our meetup group. Let's call her Barbie. Long story short, Barbie (super pretty nice girl with 1000 watt smile) who, it turns out is fake AF. We've both been friends with Mr. Cutie Pie since February, but she's been low key possessive and growing increasingly territorial about her friendship with him, when it was clear she was crushing on him big time.

He was never a potential partner for me, but I enjoyed some flirting and a couple of kisses. He's an excellent kisser, btw. Anyway, for me, it was never serious, but she knew about the flirting and the kisses. She would insist they were only friends, but a little while back, they did the deed. So, I was fine with no more flirting and kisses, but she just started acting weird. If you saw them together, her behavior would scream "he's mine." But she'd insist they were just friends and still dating others. But she didn't want me flirting with or kissing him. M'kay. This weekend we were on a camping trip with our meetup group and she was so FAKE and had to be in the center of all the pictures (she's not an outdoorsy girl). She was also UBER nice trying to fit in with all of my female friends. She was trying way too hard, and I realized she's one of those pretty girls who struggles to be friends with women, and who is not a little competitive. I was never competing with her because I don't want to win Mr. Cutie Pie. So after the weekend and some more mixed signals from her, I blocked her on Facebook and officially stepped out of this little Jr. High triangle they put me in. Grow the eff up!! I'm too old for this crap.

I have converted at least 2 ladies into cyclists recently. One lives in my current town and she's a go-getter, so we're riding 1-3 times a week together. This weekend, I'm leading a bike packing trip for an overnighter in an historic lockhouse on the C&O canal with 5 other people.

Next week, I will head up to the area where XBF has his house to attend a women's backpacking 101 trip being run by the local bike/adventure shop. I have been invited to stay with a friend and will attend a birthday celebration on Friday night with some of the old cycling club friends. If the weather is favorable, I'll bring my bike and ride the trail I used to ride all of the time when I lived up there.

After that, I'm visiting a good friend in the Finger Lakes region of NY. I have a camping trip Labor Day weekend with friends, and then I'm off to France for 2.5 weeks in September.

When I get back at the end of September, I have back to back weekend trips to either attend bike events or go backpacking through early November. It's insane........but I love it.

I'm content. I rarely cry anymore, but I need more time to really, truly let go of everything. I still think of him every day. I have mostly good days, but every once in a while, I have a blue day. The last two were kinda funky for me, but a lot of that had to do with adults acting like jr. high punks. LOL

I miss my core group of friends. They have been scattered hither and yon with their own adventures, but I look forward to spending the 2.5 weeks in France with two of them. And I'll cap off my trip with 3 days in Paris on my own. Tres bien!!

I'm not sure what's next for me, in terms of where I live. I am happily settled in my former airbnb, and it's quite possible that after the new year, my DD30 will move out. I am actually looking forward to having the place to myself for a bit. My DS34 still has another 18 months of grad school, but has also started seeing someone (special), so who knows how long he'll be paying rent at my other house.

The value of my airbnb house is almost to a place where I could make a really nice profit on it, but I would need my DS34 to move out of my other house so I could sell this one and move back to Baltimore. I won't ask him to do that until he's done with school and has what he calls his "big boy job." LOL

My Baltimore house finally has a full kitchen and bath in the basement. If needed, I can move my DS28 upstairs and rent the basement apartment out - there is a university next to my neighborhood. That would allow me to stay where I am for a bit, maybe until I retire.

But, the best thing is that I'm getting comfortable with not knowing for sure where I'll be living in a year or two. I'm not thrilled with the prospect of moving again, however. I may just sell everything and start fresh so I don't have to pack much.

And, if I move back in with my DS28 and rent out the basement, my expenses would be really low and I could easily retire at 62....and travel. Hell, I may even get my own van and set it up for vanlife or van camping.

Life is good. Really good. I went back and read over all the supportive comments from so many wonderful friends. xoxo Thank you.