We dealt with a drug addict BM, first lawyer who dropped her did it in the middle of court with her second ex.  Basically, stood up and said that they were having a breakdown in communication and walked.  Second lawyer she had lasted a bit longer, but then withdrew, due a break down in communication.  Third lawyer showed up for court then excused himself due to lack of payment.  Turns out if you keep lying to your lawyers about getting arrested and not paying them, they stop working for you…sexual favors are not what they are looking for.  Despite all this Meth Mouth still managed to drag my DH into court every 3-6 months for seven years.  I blame the court system for not telling her flat out she was never getting her kid back, but I also understand the courts like cases like this, it keeps their gravy train rolling.

Please don't count on the court punishing her in any way. If full custody is what you want, then concentrate on getting that, even if you have to give up things like BM paying court costs. It is better to let those things slide if it helps you get what you really want. I do understand the unfairness and the frustration!

"I am crossing my fingers that the judge will have no mercy on this behavior and order her to pay his attorney fees (which she'll never pay, but its the principal of it all)."

My DH had a very HC, mentally ill BM. In the custody battle, she made accusations of rape, assault causing a miscarriage, stalking, and child abuse against him. Yes, THAT sort of BM. She also had a habit of skipping court appearances.

We made sure our attorney went on the record with proof of her lies. It was expensive but necessary, as DH worked in law enforcement - thankfully in a secured facility with lots of carmeras during the times of the alleged attacks lol. We also requested and were awarded a judgement against BM for the missed appearances. That judgement, and a c.s. order, proved to be the two most effective weapons to keep BM away as she moved out of state to avoid paying. We never got a dime from her, but the total silence from her was priceless.

You must partition the court that, Life must go on,  kids have to live,  BM can not be screwing up everything and the kids have to suffer.  You must check on all appointments, call the DR'S office to confirm the appointment.  That you will be taking her and only you can change that appointment.

She sounds like a page out of my narcissistic breeders "how to dodge responsibility for the offspring you created" textbook 

Sucks for the kid mostly but a good thing is that if the other bio parent is that trifling it's sometimes better that they "disappear" ... imo ... less interference to raise the kid how you want without negative bio parent influence 

Good Lord, if DH and I had a nickel for every time one of the Beast's attorney's bailed on her at a critical moment (for the very same reasons as is happening with your BM) we would be millionaires.  

Do what you need to do and document everything.  Once DH got full custody, the Beast disappeared from the skids' lives - which was a total blessing.  Good luck!! 

We had a couple bottom feeder bargain basement attorneys to cycle through with the SPermClan. The first one dumped them when SpermGrandHag forged the Spermidiot's signature on a custody suit when the Hag learned that DW was dating someone. DW noticed that the signature was not the Spermidiot's and told her attorney who jacked the SpermClan's attorney up over a forged signature.  We even considered engaging the police on the fraudulent custody filing under SpermGrandHag's version of her idiot son's signature.  That version of their attorney was never seen again after he fired them for SpermGrandHags fraud.

We finally got to court after a number of delays on their part after my STBDW had flown back to SpermLand for court only for them to cancel at the last minute. This was an element of the SpermGrandHag attempting to pummel my STBDW into submission financially to force her to surrender custody of her toddler.

We went to court to defend the bullshit from the SpermClan a few days after we married.

We won in court. The precursor to that hearing was an incredible example of shallow and polluted gene pool idiocy.  They sued for custody. The day before court they offered to make it joint custody. DW told them no and offered 9wks of long distance visitation. They countered with 26 weeks of visitation. DW declined and offered 9wks.  They countered with 15wks, DW restated the offer of 9wks or we would let the court decide. 

The next day after an entire day in court the Judge upheld full physical and legal custody for DW and ordered 7Wks of visitation.  CS was raised from the incredibly elevated $110/Mo to an extortion level of $133/Mo. Sarcasm.

As we walked out of court the replacement bottom dweller SpermClan attorney tells DW "My clients accept the 9wks you offered."  DW laughed in his face and replied "You heard the Judge. 7wks."

That was the last attorney we ever engaged with on the SpermClan side of our blended family adventure though we did batter the SpermClan in court a couple of times after that.

I had to deal with a couple of attorneys that my XW cycled through during our divorce and then working out the disposition of our house.

We originally agreed on a single attorney uncontested divorce. After my XMIL got into my not yet XW's ear, and XW's night shift NeoNatal ICU all divorced coworkers egged her into the belief that you cannot have a non drama divorce, she engaged XMIL's business attorney's practice to represent her in the divorce.

Her attorney called me to attend a meeting.  I went to that meeting without representation.  I was seated in their practice conference room when XW and her attorney walked in. He strongly advised me that I needed representation. I told him to get on with the meeting.

XW was attempting to renege on her original settlement proposal which was "Since I am initiating the divorce you can have everything but I do want the money I cashed out of CDs to contribute to the down payment on the house.  I will take my personal belongings and all of the wedding gifts from my family and friends."

I agreed, told her to write it up and sign it. While she was writing it up I headed to the bank, closed all of the accounts, took all of the money while having a cashier's check drawn up for her CD money and headed back to the house. We both read the settlement she wrote down, we both signed it.

Her new attorney tried to convince me that no court would let that agreement stand and his client would get far more. I informed him that he needed to understand the full facts of the situation. At which point I slid a manila envelope across the table to him.  XW started getting very agitated at that point. Inside the envelope was notarized copies of her diaries in her hand writing describing her cheat fest career including names, dates, locations, and her lamentations on cheating.

Also in the envelope was a notarized copy of her hand writen divorce settlement agreement signed by both of us.

I told them that either her original settlement agreement held or it was all going in the pot for the Judge to disposition including the $30K given to us by her parents when she graduated with her BS.  This was the remainder of her college account.  The card and check was to both of us. I also pointed out that if they forced my hand that her diaries and everything about her and the married would become public record and her friends and family would know ever sordid detail.

What got her fired by that attorney was notarized copies of every University paper she had been assigned over 3+ years. Rough drafts in my and writing and graded typed final papers.  Her attorney was an Adjunct Professor at the Law School of the University where her BSN was from.  He read through the contents of the envelope and turned to her informing her that he could no longer represent her as it was a conflict of interest for him due to her academic fraud in obtaining her degree from the same University he was a Prof at.

Back to our single attorney divorce.

Three years post divorce, she decided she wanted to sell our home. She had moved out prior to the divorce to move in with her geriatric fortune 500 executive sugar/baby daddy.  The problem was, it was my house. 

The Judge had ruled at the final hearing and in the decree, all property addressed in the settelement statement is owned as agreed. All other property is owned as posessed.  She had moved out. I was in possession of the home on the date of the hearing. It was mine.

I had leased the home out on a lease purchase agreement when I had left to finish my Undergrad. The single mom who had leased to purchased backed out a couple of years later. XW called and told me she wanted to live in the house. I agreed on the condition she covered all costs associated with living in the house.  A year later, she decided she wanted the house and to not owe me anything. I got a FedEx package with a quit claim deed and a $10 cashier's check. I failed to sign for it when FedEx knocked on my door.  I opened it, read it, then handed it back to the FedEx driver refusing it. It was sent back to XW with a description of the delivery attempt.

XW called me in a banshee shreeking melt down.  I reminded her of the Judge's order and that I owned the home.   Her attorney of the moment called me to try to intimidate me to comply with her attempt to assume ownership of the home. I refused the attempt. He then offered me a settlement. I would owe XW the mortgage payments she had made less the fair market rental value of the home.  I told him to call me back in an hour and I would let him know. He told me to call him. I refused and informed him that I was not spending a Cent on long distance charges and if she wanted to continue any discussion he had to call me.

I called a friend who was a real estate/rental agent in that city.  He looked up the rental value of the house and what the likely sales value would be.

I was ready when XW's lawyer called back.  I told him that I accepted her proposal, stated how much she would have to send me and asked when I would receive certified funds as settlement. Then I would sign a quit claim deed.  He was taken aback, tried to explain that it was me who would owe her that amount. 

Nope numbnuts.  Mortgage payment less fair market rental value is a negative number which means... she owes me. I do not owe her.  He signed off and I never heard from him again.  A couple of months later I received a Cashiers Check signed by Grandpa sugar/baby daddy for 85% of the profits on the agreed sales price of the house.

Attorneys are human and far too many of them think that because they are attorneys people will be intimidated by them and afraid of them.  I make sure that when I am in a legal action I am dialed in, I hire the best most brutal pitbull attorney available, meet with several others for consults to take them off of the table for the opposition, and I learn.  This minimizes my legal costs.

With the SpermClan, we used our pitbull as a consultant and went pro se in court after the custody attempt by the SpermClan.  Anytime they flirted with being stupid, we had pitbull send them a knock their shit off letter from his law office. They hated that. But it worked.

Never forget, you know more about your life and the blended family situation than any attorney, keep meticulous records, get the best of the best leave them quivering in their tracks killer pitbull shark of an attorney with a strong record of effective performance in the arena you are battlign within (Divorce, family law, etc..) and go for their throats.

Backing the opposition in the corner and forcing them to an understanding that every pathetic sordid detail of their idiot lives will be presented in court sentence by sentence and that every bit of it will be provided to their family, etc... tends to extricate heads from toxic shincters.