There is something magical about the 3 month mark after a breakup. The worst of the grieving is over and the mind starts to settle into acceptance.

I'm starting to be less frenetic with the need for constact activity. I'm enjoying peace and sitting still in my HOME. The garden is taking shape and I've started some seeds for the veggie garden. I hope to harvest some peas and beans this year. I could never get them going at the X's house because of the hungry wildlife getting into everything.

Cycling has been great! With the warmer weather, I'm out on the trails and roads a lot more. I'm feeling stronger and hope to keep up with the cyclists in my new club on their social ride tonight. I've got new tires on my road bike and will clean the chain and gears today to improve my speed for the ride tonight.

Had a nice 25 mile bike ride yesterday along the potomac river with a group of lovely friends. This week, I'll get in a couple of rides before heading out of town with 2 of my girlfriends for a cycling event on Saturday. We're hoping to go 56 miles.

The next weekend, I'll be leading a hike and hangout on the Appalachian Trail with a bunch of meetup people.

Life is good. I'm happy. I haven't heard a peep out of the X but since I'm an admin on two meetup groups that we both belong to, I can see when he logs in. I know he can also see my cycling app, if he wants to. I had posted on my cycling app that I led a nearly 40 mile meetup bike ride a few weeks back, and after not logging into meetup for nearly 3 months, he logged in to that group 2 weeks ago. So, I know he's watching. Meetup tracks logins separately for each group since the other group shows he hasn't logged in for 4 months.

Out of curiosity, and because I felt strong enough to do so, I checked in the dating app a few weeks ago to find his profile had been taken down. It's now back up with a greatly scaled back message about having standards, being willing to wait for true compatibility (meaning he wants a doormat who will do everything on his terms), and also how he's not getting any younger. None of it upsets me as it just goes to confirm that he's not fit for any relationship and I chose wisely to get out. If I was interested in dating and saw a man with a profile like his, I would run in the opposite direction. He's clearly seeking someone to add to his life since he never offers up any information on what he can add to a woman's life. He's not offering true partnership, emotional availability, emotional maturity, the ability to communicate, compromise and show empathy/compassion.

Seeing this makes me feel better about my decision to remain single and just enjoy life to the fullest. Nothing is sweeter than climbing into my oh-so-comfy bed each night and taking up the whole bed. It feels like a peaceful cocoon. My kittens are now a year old and so cuddly and sweet. I live in a beautiful area that's also close to plenty of things to do. My friendship circle is growing and the support of my close friends and family is priceless.

Oh, and my new guy buddy who is 9 years younger than me, we have this great friendship where I'm like his older, wiser sister, but there is also a nice platonic chemistry. We have so much fun together and it's been nice to be able to support each other like I would with my girlfriends. He's going through a contentious divorce and I've been able to encourage him a bit. He's not relationship material for me. As a friend, he's great. But I can see a bit of selfishness, some evidence of him drowning his struggles with booze and weed, and his story of his failed marriage seems to be missing some pieces which hints at him having a slight victim mentality or lacking in self awareness. Soooo, friendship it is.

Look at me paying attention to a guy's unsuitability for a relationship instead of jumping in with both feet and trying to save him. LOLOL

May is a big month for me with a cycling event, AT hike, a meetup bike ride, 2 kayaking events and a long weekend with my girl posse biking a scenic bike trail in Central PA.

Get outside and play!