In the last installment of SD14 is PAS'd out, she had made some vague statements to her counselor about wanting to move to Alaska while Crazy was on vacation, so DH had to go pick her up and take her for a night. That was a few weeks ago and she hasn't been here since, but of course there have still been boatloads of drama. 

SS told us that Crazy was sick of SD being there FT- she said it was "expensive" to have SD there FT, and SD was difficult. Yes, when you let SD run the show, she IS difficult. SS said Crazy had text him at least 12 times telling him to tell DH to reach out to SD. And then once to say "Remind your dad that I'm going to file for child support". She was trying to get DH to somehow convince SD to come back here, which wasn't going to happen. She also snapchatted SS all night the other night about how terrible DH is. FFS. Enought with the PAS, and Keep SS out of this!

Last week was a skid week and we got a text from SS last Sat saying SD was coming with him to our house because Crazy and SD got in a fight, so Crazy was forcing SD to come here. I felt absolutely sick. Last week was spring break and I WFH. I was going to be home with SD all week alone??? NO. I told DH this was an unreasonable ask, and he agreed. He offered to take off work, but that would use all of his vacay and he would not be able to come on our vacay that we have booked for Sept. I didn't want that. We didn't know what to do. We contacted SD's counselor to ask for ideas on how to handle SD if she pulled the suicide card. DH and I agreed we would NOT be allowing SD to use suicide as a manipulation tool- enough is enough. We have taken her seriously, but it is quite obvious she is not suicidal and is now using it as a tool (her own counselors words). SD text DH saying she would be coming because her mom was making her and her mom didn't want her there either, but that she would be staying in her room the whole time, she wouldn't eat our food or talk to us. He said that's not how this works, she was part of the family. She said he was not her father anymore, she would do what she wanted, she would not listen to him or follow rules. He's like you absolutely will listen and follow rules- you do not call the shots. She's like, "what will you do, take my phone? I don't care, and I will change the passcode". Ha! You think we would just take your phone? Try your phone, your books, your door, your clothes....Honey, you are playing checkers and we are playing chess. If she thinks for ONE SECOND DH or I would let a kid run the show in our house she has another thing coming. She proceeded to swear at him and called him a narcissist, and that she "knows for a fact" that he's been treating the time that she hasn't been there like a vacation. Which isn't even true at all, he didn't even go away with me and our friends for the wknd, he hasn't done almost anything fun at all. But even if he did thinks, what is he supposed to do, sit home and cry? A while later DH gets a text from SD saying "Mom was going to go somewhere this week but now she's not (lie-she just didn't want to tell us they got in a fight and her mom was forcing her here) so I'm not coming by you after all, bye". SS text and said that SD had threatened suicide if Crazy made her come here so she was letting SD stay there. UNreal. 

Crazy sent DH a message saying she was "Fine with SD staying with her 100% of the time, and she already filed papers". She called DH a "deadbeat dad" and a narcissist (gee, I wonder where SD got that from?) and said that "from what she hears, he has been enjoying his free time without SD" (again, almost verbatim what SD said) and said he doesn't care about SD or anything about her. He sent an attachment showing the signs of Parental alienation, which is SD to a TEE. 

Later SD text DH asking for her passport (which is expired, but at our house). He told her as much and said he wasn't just going to help her get a new one when she talks to him and treats him like crap. She said she didn't care, her mom would help her, and he does everything for SS, why can't he do this one thing for her, all she ever did was try to be perfect so he would love her and blah blah...Why does he hate her? We think she applied for a foreign exchange student program and apparently she thinks she's doing it (and she thinks DH is signing off on it, even though we told her previously that her getting to do that depends on her behavior). She swore at DH some more, then text DH later saying "Please just leave mom alone. She never did anything to you, why can't you just take it out on me, but leave her alone, what did she do to you?". How can I be parentally alienated when Mom didn't even know I was going to ask the counselor to stay with her until the day of the meeting? Just give mom full custody of me, this is what I want, I don't want to be with you. And then she blocked him. Sigh.... Yes, poor mom. And SD, you have no idea how parental alienation works. This has been an 8 YEAR campaign, not just a days work. 

So now we assume we are just waiting to hear from the court. When we talked about this a few weeks ago, DH said he would not just give Crazy full custody without somewhat of a fight (he will not get a lawyer). Which I get. But also, I cannot imagine SD being here like this. DH holds hope that she could come and get back to her normal self, because we've seen that happen before. But we've also never seen her anywhere NEAR this bad. She has never screamed, swore, or acted how she is. She is like a feral animal. And the threatening suicide if she doesn't get her way? What are we supposed to do with that? You can't just have her committed somewhere, it doesn't work like that. There are VERY few places and they only take her if they deem she is in a crisis, but she always backs down from her claims in the moment, so she doesn't fit that. So then you just go back home with a manipulative child. Rinse, repeat. Sure there are places with waiting lists that you can pay out of your ass for where she could go FT. Or day programs that are not feasible transportation-wise. It is lose-lose. I say let her stay with her perfect mom where she is just sooo happy until they can't stand each other, which will be in 2years, tops. SS will be falling off of Child support as he graduates June 1st, and then he would most likely have to pay more for SD. He is currently paying for health ins too, so that's something. 

DH's sister saw Crazy and SD in the grocery store, just down an aisle for a second. Crazy told SS that DH's sister was "stalking them". Just like DH's other sister is "stalking" SD's tik tok. SD continues to repost tik toks about terrible dads, and then made a tik tok with her and Crazy saying "You'll never know if I win the lottery....oh wait I already have because I have the most supportive, loving mom in the world". Gag. 

Yesterday at Easter, it was nice to have DH's entire family back us (especially me) up about this. They don't think SD should be at our house at all right now. They know how insane her mom is (she has physically and verbally attacked ALL of them in public at different times), and they see those traits in SD. They told me they are so happy DH has me now and is out of the toxic relationship with her, and that I should distance myself from SD and this drama because she is brainwashed by her mom and it is toxid. And that if SD ever does have to come over, I should try to remove myself from the situation (although where would I even go? This is my home...) because they wouldn't trust what she would say and do. Still, they didn't blame me, or think anything was my fault whatsoever. In the shitshow that we are dealing with with SD, that was one tiny bright spot at least.