Food Wars Continues

So before we left on vacation, Chef had a fit over me not cooking up boatloads of hamburgers out of the freezer. I told him cooking then up and throwing most of them out bc we were going out of town for 1.5 weeks is NOT "using up" its WASTING! He immediately assumed a threatening tone with me and said "don't plan any more vacations!" I said "fine" and I would go on my own.

He half heartedly "apologized" and behaved himself for most of the road trip but did bitch about the beautiful historical bed and breakfast I reserved. ( He was too in a hurry to use the front door key and demanded I come down and open up the main entrance door after I just stepped out of the shower) He was also pissed that he couldn't find coffee before 8 am so he bad mouthed everything.

Fast forward to today. He had to work all day and since he is both on a health kick AND fussy, I texted him what he wants for dinner. He said "chicken and salad" Sidenote: I have a bad cold and cough; its ac struggle for me to cook anything.

I pulled out a frozen pkg of what I thought was chicken that HE had bought from his fancy store and didn't have me separate/vacuum package it. It was mislabled "chicken" BY THE STORE! Was really turkey pieces. Didn't want it to freezer burn either.

I make the turkey, salad and roasted potatoes. He sees it and flies into a rage telling me I should know the difference and from now on he will cook!

I HATE when he cooks. He over buys at Wegmans , makes a mess and over seasons everything then wastes 3/4s of it. Basically throwing money out the window which we can ill afford.

I feel like bringing up "how's your vintage vehicle rebuild coming along?" IOW he was suckered by his brother into a free fancy heating system with no return of goods or services. His nephew is back with BM2 and have been vacationing in Arizona. I would wager anything that the vehicle hasn't been touched.

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I feel like it's the age...

I feel like it's the age... or maybe just our luck in picking men... Chef reminds me of DH in many ways.

I wanted to STRANGLE him today, he was such a grouch. Impatient, grumpy, demanding, mantrums... prison started to look like a vacation. I'm trying soooo hard to be patient but this day needs to end because I'm about ready to snap.

I saw that nasa are looking

I saw that nasa are looking to hire some people to do a year long simulated stay on "mars"...it sounded tempting to me! Plus you'd get paid for it and no criminal record!

I can see

Why there are programs such as "Snapped." This is why women attack men in their sleep. I say this while I hear his chainsaw snoring in the background.

I'll say it again...the Girhippo dodged a bullet. And no, these types will not seek counseling nor medication because they are like Mary Poppins-- practically perfect in every way. /s

I think even if you had

I think even if you had pulled out chicken (perhaps he needs to focus when purchasing items) he would have found something else to be a bag of dicks about. I think he enjoys free ranging his anger at you. He is a bag of dicks, it's not the events or your errors ...it's him.

don't let his nasty destroy your good.

I recently told him

That he can't be happy or enjoy anything that he has to find something to complain about which oddly makes him happy I believe. If things aren't perfect and don't go completely his way he throws a fit.

and then wonders why people

and then wonders why people barely tolerate him or want to be near him?

coughbagofdickscough

There's a reason why so many

There's a reason why so many widows are content to be single while widowers want to remarry

AMEN!!! While my XBF didn't

AMEN!!! While my XBF didn't ever go off about food like Chef or gripe and complain about inconveniences on vacation, he was definitely easily butt hurt about many things and would sulk and go silent like a giant man child.

I've heard from too many friends that the dating pool of available men out there is shockingly contaminated with the cast offs of other women who got sick and tired of their BS. Even widowers (my XBF as an example) are not "safe" because they have a rosy recollection of their late wife and often a delusional memory of how good of a husband they were. I am confident that my XBF was even worse when his LW was alive. I got the better version, but that version still has issues that will never be resolved without some serious introspection and therapy (and medication).

I am content being single until the universe brings me a grown up man who is capable of empathy and wants to protect and provide. I don't need someone to support me, but I would enjoy doing life with an emotionally mature man who wants to build a life TOGETHER.

Has he been tested for memory

Has he been tested for memory/dementia issues? He just seems to be getting worse. I don't know how you do it.

Getting him to go to the doctor

Is like climbing Mount Everest in flip flops. I've made appointments for him even for the dentist and he has something to b**** about and shows up late then rips up the appointment card when he gets rescheduled. And this was the dentist he liked at one time. He wants me to go searching for another dentist for him... no way. If I don't go searching he'll imply have memory issues or I'm lazy

If I do find another dentist for him he will criticize it to no end and find something wrong with it possibly canceling the appointment at the last minute and incurring a charge.

I'm pretty sure all the doctors and dentists he switched around to have put notes in their files like the Seinfeld episode that he is difficult.

I will remind him several times the day before and the day of, have it pop up on his phone and his calendar and he will claim that he didn't know about it and then I'm supposed to literally and escort him to his appointments. We had the same argument over a rust proofing appointment for his work van.

He may be getting early onset dementia. he's taken himself off of his blood pressure medicines and was doing this health kick thing. I read somewhere that people with high blood pressure have uncontrollable rages. He's always had high blood pressure and uncontrollable rages especially the second he stepped his foot over my threshold. Up to that point butter wouldn't have melted in his mouth.

Ugh..the bitching

drives me NUTS. H finally learned.....when we went to NOLA he bitched and moaned about walking. H's sum total of exercise is from the bed to downstairs..from downstairs upstairs to his office and then back downstairs to sit and watch TV. I on the other hand walk at least 2 miles a day.....so in NOLA he was dying since he doesn't move very much. AFter day 3 of the constant complaining..I BLEW UP. I mean he about became food for the swamp creatures

Fast forward to our NYC trip a few weeks ago...H was hurting (still doesn't move much) but zipped his lip..took some tylenol and continued on. NO bitching...and guess what we had a great time..other than the subway incident...but that was it. NO fighting, no hurt feelings..no NOTHING. Afterwards, H admitted...he is the problem 9 times out 10. (Everyone LOOK FOR THE 4 HORSEMEN OF THE APOCOLYPSE)...H admitted he was WRONG.

I'm using the Mary Poppins line on H when he gets on his high horse when confronted with shiznit he is doing.

Odds are DH will end up

Odds are DH will end up keeled over one day and that will be the end of your suffering. Hopefully it’s not before he works you into the ground. I think I remember a long time ago the reason you don’t leave is because you know Chef would be violent. All I can say is take care of you, let him work himself into that early grave.

Yeah

Im 8 yrs older than he is and I hope to outlive him.

((HUGS))

Im sorry you are dealing with this.

Husband also has a trigger temper and on a good day his impatience scale is over to the 100%. Honestly the column for Divorce is getting longer and longer.

Lol. I need to slow down when reading.

My brain registered "mpatience" as "impotence".

Damn, these guys sound like a

Damn, these guys sound like a bunch of pricks! Can you put something in their coffee? My DH can be a delusional idiot about his spawn, but other than that he is great. Maybe it is time to go NACHO on asshole husbands!

Haha This Killed Me!

Kloewent, thanks for the laugh!

When someone

Makes / cooks me dinner. I don't complain. just grateful that I don't have to do it.

You wouldn't be grateful

If you saw the mess that he leaves in the kitchen, the four of the same items stuffed into the fridge with two of them going bad, the waste of food going into the trash can because he didn't feel like eating leftovers ( cooks for an army and there are only two of us).

I've told him till I'm blue in the face that you can half or even quarter a recipe; you don't need to cook the entire recipe for six to eight to 12 people but he never listens.

The huge grocery bill because he shops at the hoity-toity store and doesn't pay attention to prices just grabs whatever he feels like and the sometimes inedible food because he overseasons it. He never looks at price per pound, says "that's outrageous" and puts it back down like I do; I refuse to buy anything that is not a reasonable price or on sale.

I'm so sorry you are living

I'm so sorry you are living this craptastic nighmare of Chef and his baggage.

Until it ends, there is no fix.

Sadly.

Take care of you thinkthrice.

This is not food wars...

...it is emotional abuse.

You are smart, witty and funny. I'm pretty sure we could hang out and have a good time.

I hate that you won't tell this piece of shit to take a hike. You deserve so much more - and by more I don't mean a better man, I just mean a peaceful, happy life - with or without a man.

My Dear TT,

If the distance from The Great White North to New York were not so daunting, I’d happily transform Chef into a chalk outline. In fact, I’d do the job free of charge since it would qualify as a public service.

Does the man have a single saving grace? Kind to animals? Quick to assist oldsters in crossing busy streets? Is he honest? Well, since he’s voluntarily discontinued his blood pressure meds, I recommend high-fat meals with lots of salt, plenty of booze and frequent, petty arguments to increase his stress levels. If he detonates, all the better; just before he reaches that point, lock yourself in the bathroom.

You need to be devious, Hon, since you’re the first one that the authorities will suspect. Nothing overt, ‘eh?

You slay me, granny!

The only saving grace is

He sure can swing a hammer. He is building my estate and none of it is in his name.

That part is so well played.

Dark horse TT!

TT, a new perspective, you sly dog! All these years, I've been sympathizing with your dire circumstances while you were profiting from Chef’s hard work (he is, after all, a talented and competent ‘jack of all trades’). Since you appear to be in excellent health, your notion of outliving a husband who is careless about his physical wellbeing is both shrewd and practical.

Chef's failure to address the reality of all property being in your name does not surprise me; one has only to note how the Gir has exploited him for decades to appreciate the depth of his foolhardiness.

Well done, my dear! I’m humbled by your foresight.

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