I have already posted a topic and reading it made me think if my partner and I can start a family one day. There is so much drama with the BM and their 6-year-old son. I believe if we were to start a family the drama would be worse somehow.

We have been together for 5 years. When we were offically girlfriend and boyfriend she asked him to start paying child support which was the best decision they could've made. When we moved in together 3 years ago I remember she started to act funny with him. It felt like it was harder for him to see his son but maybe it has always been that way and I'm only noticing this because we live together.

Anyway 2 years ago I fell pregnant. I was on the pill and I would forget to take it. My own fault. I never thought I could get pregnant because I had an eating disorder for so long and I would never get my period. My partner noticed that I was eating so much more than usual and told me to take a pregnancy test. I was in denial and didn't believe I was pregnant but then every day I was throwing up.

I bought a test and in 5 seconds it was positive. I was so scared. I was living with my parents and he was living in boarding homes. We both didn't have jobs at the time either. I didn't think once about keeping the baby. I wasn't going to be selfish and not think about him too. I knew this wasn't going to work out. We aborted the baby and it was the best decision. When this happened this was a time where his parents, mostly his mum was close to the BM. My boobs have gotten huge and she noticed believing I was pregnant. She got really excited even though I never announced anything and started telling her friends and family that she is going to have another grandbaby.

My partner was telling her I'm not pregnant. I didn't want to tell her because I wasn't keeping the baby. What made it worse was she told the BM that I was having a baby. The BM asked my partner if I was having a baby. She sounded upset about it. My partner denied everything though.

But now we are older, both have successful jobs and live together. If we did start a family is she going to make it hard for him to see his first son? I believe she will because she makes it hard now. I also don't want his son to think that his father has abandoned him. I will feel like the villain.

What do you think? My partner says all the right things but my own anxiety stops me.