You'll encounter her someday.  It's not something for your BF to organize and I wouldn't bring it up.  When you do, be polite and civil, no matter what's been going thru your brain and I know what went thru my mine about our BM.  

You'll never be sorry if you're polite and civil.  Also, don't discuss her in front of, or in the hearing of, the boy.  I used to vemt to my SIL on the phone about BM and my SKs might have overheard me and I regret that.  Kids are hurt by hearing negatives about their parents and it's not good for them.  When theyre older, they might benefit by hearing facts but this boy is too young.  Good luck.

I wouldn't give BM the luxury of setting up a meeting. That indicates to a HCBM that you are seeking her approval for the relationship, which is a dangerous precedent to set. Don't want BM feeling like she has any control or decision making in you and BF's relationship. You will see BM naturally in the future, either at a visitation exchange or a skid function. When that happens, just be civil. 

I wouldn't if I were you.

I did meet the Spermidiot.  I can count on less than the fingers on one hand how many times I have seen him in the 29+ years since my DW and I started dating. One of those was in court during the Custody/Visitation/Support hearing the week after we married. My SS turned 2 that week.

I would rather piss on him than think about it and wouldn't waste that moiture if he was on fire.

The opposition does not matter. Do not give them more consideration necessary. BM has no value in your life. Don't give  her any.

I do not recall saying a single word to the Spermidiot. 

IMHO.

While I'm sure you will cross paths at some point.. I would leave communications with her to your DH.. and not get involved in any of it.  I would be civil to her if you meet her.. no need to be best friends.. and no need to share your opinion.. on her.. on her kids.. on your DH.. on life.. on anything.. she is not interested likely in any of your opinions.. and you are not going to get her to be nicer to your SO.. or get her to like you... or show her the light.

If a meeting happens.. "nice to meet you.. I work in accounting.. I grew up on the coast.. .." just answers to any general questions if they are asked.. don't volunteer anything and don't use the meeting to forge any connection or to try to change her or what she does.

My husband divorced mid 2009, we met in 2013 and married late 2014. Hubby has not seen exwife since divorce. 
 

when he drove weekends for custody times of his daughters, ss whom hubby had full custody of, ss would help enter biomums home and help sd's grab their bags or help drop them off.

its been over 13.5 yrs since hubby has seen exwife or been in her presence. Skids are sd27, ss25.5 and sd17 and none of them live with her including sd's who stopped living with her 8 plus yrs ago.

hubby sends his cs payment every month. My husband has never met exwifes current hubby (the affair guy) whom she married days after divorce was finalised so I don't see why i need to meet hubbys exwife.
 

My ss has no relationship or contact with biomum as she disowned his during the divorce when in court she said she couldn't be bothered caring for him.

i have no contact or relationship with sd's whom called hubby in 2019 guilting him for marrying and having kids with me when i had already gone no contact almost a yr prior after their non stop disrespect. I don't ever see why i need to be around biomum.

I have never met BM. There has been a few times that we were in the same place and she and DH said a couple words to each other but neither bioparent introduced so I wasn't about to prolong the interaction.

BM tries her best to pretend I don't exist, she usually refuses to turn her head in my direction.

There's really no need to purposely meet her.

I've been with my DH for 26 years and can count on one hand (and wouldn't need all of the fingers) how many times I've been in the presence of BM. In fact, now that I really think about it, I think I'd only need 2 fingers.

When I met HCBM at SD's extracurricular event she made a point of walking up to me. She said, "Well this is awkward." I said nothing but in retrospect I wish I had said, "Well now it is, due to the way you are acting."

I wish I never would have met my wife's ex. The first time I ever spoke to the man was when I was in court and he was accusing me of nonsense that the judge didn't believe.

As a Step-parent I do not think it is my job to ever deal with the ex. That person chose to marry and have children with them so don't pawn off your bad decision on me and expect me to participate.

I would also avoid unless you know she is super nice! I wish I had never come across my SD BM she is a vile human

on purpose.  Its likely that you will meet st some point,  but don't borrow trouble and try to hasten the meeting. 

When DH and I met, he and BM had virtually no contact. She and skids lived in another state and we were to visit and picked up skids at a neutral location and returned them the same way. Fast-forward a few years and that changed.  BM and her long-time boyfriend broke up and she was more open to communicating with DH. I thought it might help DH's relationship with his kids,  which was managed by BM and wasn't very flexible.  SD was a teenager,  was rebelling and had been manipulative, but I didn't blame her and chalked it up to her age and life experience and generally tried to understand her position (being a SD myself helped me relate some, and I genuinely wanted to be a good influence on her life, a friend).

Now,  years later, we find ourselves fighting enmeshment with BM. Skids never properly launched and don't live independently,  despite SD being married with 2 small children (she bounces between her slacker H's family's homes and BM's. 

Since coming into the picture,  I feel like BM is overstepping and DH remembers what it was like to not get to see his kids as often and is afraid that could repeat with the sgks. BM has milked it for it's full worth and then some. 

It's a shame, because I quite liked her when we first met, but within a very short amount of time she overstepped by talking to DH, telling him she and her BF (briefly got back together) had broken up because he cheated on her. I told him immediately that was oversharing and I've had my guard up ever since.

I wouldn't hasten the inevitable,  but when it does happen,  just be cordial. Hopefully contact is limited and you make it out of each encounter unscathed. 

I met the Spermidiot initially at a hand over when my then GF and I flew back to her hometown for her to be in her BFFs wedding. I was her +1. 

I had not seen her or SS in a month or more.  When I pulled up in front of my STBDW's GrandMother's house SS ran laughing into my arms and away from the Spermidiot.  SpermGrandHag was none too happy.

I carried him back to BioDad.

The next time I saw the Spermidiot was in court less than a week after my DW and I had married.  He and SpermGrandHag were trying to take custody of SS away from my DW.  We won, they lost.

In the 29yrs my DW and I have been a couple, I have seen the Spermidiot less than half a dozen times and cannot recall us saying a single word to each other.

IMHO, a Sparent has no obligation to meet our SO's X.  They are not family, they should be little more than part of our SO's history. 

While they are family to a member of our family (the Skid), the XWBM or XHBioDad to our SO is nothing to a SParent. Unless.......  we decide otherwise.  On a case by case, situation by situation basis.

I would not piss on the SpermClan adults if they were on fire.  My priority is to support my son in his adult interactions with them.  Beyond that, they are irrelvant.