Best bet is to just stop caring enough about the skid to fight about the skid

Yes, I fought with my DH for 10 years over the drama the skids caused. I threatened to leave him twice and started looking for apartments on my laptop, while telling him that he needs to show me he will change. This was the only thing that snapped him out of Daddy bear mode. Now I just refuse to discuss certain topics where I have stated my point and he is not going to change my mind. Then I tell him that "our marriage will not survive that."  He gets my drift. He did change, but it took many years and it was an ongoing process.The stress of dealing with his awful kids gave him 2 heart attacks. The third near-heart attack/out of body experience is what changed his mind. He realized that he couldn't "manage" everyone all the time so that they would get along. He had to accept that his kids lacked boundaries and discipline, and that this is why they finally turned on him too. Only then did he feel what I had been feeling for years. 

I guess its true that women are much stronger emotionally than men. I have dealt with this for 10 years and I've had zero heart attacks. Just panic attacks....

But I have a Husband problem. The Skids are not the main issue causing me to want to leave my marriage. We have been together 8 plus years and I have given it my all. I gave him 2022 to improve things, and change and he is not willing to do the right thing for me and our marriage. So - currently I am in a holding pattern until I am strong enough to leave.

Where is the drama coming from? It is all the kids OR is it bm or bm by proxy.

Sometimes, bm's will run their x's round and round AND round causing a ton of drama, BUT dh doesn't know he can actually fix it because he may think,  'this is the way it is'. When in fact it is NOT.

My DH ex is the root of all the drama. If she was mature and got on with her life and not manipulated the skids.. it would be soooo much easier. DH lately has been good.. but sometimes we fight because he pulled a Disney card for SD. It's annoying but I know he has my back and not BMs. That's the only thing that's kept me with him. 

I was ready to leave a few months ago because my husband has major guilt and didn't want to confront his son about his absolutely ridiculous behaviors and anytime I call it out i was the bad guy. Things are better and I'm the only one in therapy imagine that lol. I stepped back for months and it showed my husband just how bad his son acts and his nasty ass habits. 

parent former mates due to parental and failed first family idiocy.

I divorced my ex husband last year.  It was the best decision I have ever made.  I left because husband was emotionally abusive and that was escalating.  But even if he had been nice, I would have left anyway because he was an enmeshed, codependent father who refused to set any expectations or consequences for any sh&tty behaviors from his son.  At the time I left, his son was 21, barely working (had a 10 hour/week job that he complained about, had been unemployed for 18 months prior to, has been fired from several jobs due to his attendance), a pothead (like his daddy), hostile and passive aggressive toward me, and showed no sign of ever moving out.  Every activity in my life revolved around this manchild and if I didn't want to go along with it, my husband made my life a living hell.  You can read my posts if you like. 

And as other posters have mentioned, my situation was more a husband issue as he refused to parent his child, "I don't want to make him mad," etc. 

So, I left for several reasons but would have left even if my husband was nice because I couldn't tolerate his son's entitled, lazy behavior.