This is just a general "I'm worn out" kinda post but also posting because I'm thinking of throwing in the towel on the marriage, SS7, the drama, etc. I miss my drama free quiet life that I used to have.

My DH is a loving man. A very selfish, emotionally crippled, and abused as a child man. He has grown by leaps and bounds in the last few years but when does a person say enough. I can't take your slow progress anymore. I'm tired of leading, guiding, and helping you and SS7.

DH was abandoned by his mother at the age of 2-3. Raised by his incredibly self centered perhaps bi-polar verbally and emotionally abusive father and his co-dependent grandmother. This dynamic is screwed up so much it would take hours to post. FIL is 51 and has lived his entire life with his mother. He has had drug and alcohol addictions and the best thing that ever happen to DH was getting out of that house!

However, with that being said, DH KNOWS that his father is messed up. They haven't spoke in a year. He has improved greatly in parenting and other ways so he is no longer repeating ALL of his father's verbally and emotionally abusive habits but it has been SO SLOW. He still lets loose techniques learned from his dad on occasion, such as throwing his son's bicycle because SS7 wouldn't try to learn how to ride the bike (DH's father ran over his bike with the car when he was little) and had an adult tantrum with cussing and screaming. It's exhausting to live with to say the least. In other ways he's the most loving attentive (sometimes too attentive because he is insecure) man on Earth.

I'm exhausted. I've been to counseling for years and years working on myself. I've begged DH to go. He has went and it has gone poorly most times (he takes everything said to him as an attack or a threat). He makes promises he doesn't keep. But on the other hand he is going to great lengths to get SS7 the help he needs psychologically.

Why can't he do it for himself? How long to I keep trying or do I throw in the towel? I'm definitely aware that I can't change a person. They have to want to change themselves. But damn! I'm tired!