OT - AITA Holiday Edition
It was the "I'll have my lawyer call and talk to you." comment that really sealed it for me.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/family-outrage-divorced-mom-devastated-170531...
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Wow, she's a Major A!
Wow, she's a Major A!
FWIW, the son spent Christmas with her last year. Obviously, alternating holidays never crossed her selfish HCGUBM mind. Sheesh.
Right! She is probably one
Right! She is probably one of those moms who tells her kid "He is your father now (pointing to SF), you call him Dad!"
So it’s ok for the kid to choose as long as he chooses her.
I was speaking with a friend about toxic divorces. We have a mutual "friend" Who views her adult children's relationship with their dad as a "betrayal" of her. Her philosophy is me or him. It's sad.
It's sad really people who
It's sad really people who can't get over themselves.
I think this is the root of
I think this is the root of so many stepfamily issues. For some reason it's usually the BM that feels this way not the BD. It's abandonment issues projected onto their kids.
She's definitely the A.
She's definitely the A. Probably the type to come up with a sneaky plan to ruin the trip is he does get to go.
BioHo did this to us. We'd
BioHo did this to us. We'd planned a vacation with the SSs - 2-day drive to and from our location. 'Ho purposely planned an overlapping trip to an amusement park in the opposite direction of where we were traveling. They were scheduled to return a week after our departure date, leaving us 2 days (not counting the 4 days of driving).
We went without them.
Another pair of idiot parents letting a kid decide.
This is what a CO is for. Clear, in writing, and Court ordered.
Ours was simple. 7wks of long distance visitation per year. 5Wks summer, ~1wk Winter, 1Wk Spring.
The only variable not clearly stipulated in the order was the start of Summer visitation. The SpermClan had to notify DW at lease 60 days prior and ... it could not start until at least the day school was out. During the Summer visitation my DW was entitled by the CO to have 10 days with SS in SpermLand any time after the first week of the start of their visitation. The remainder of the SpermClan Summer visitation time would complete following DW's time. That never happened but... it could have had it been enough of a priority for my DW. The couple of times she tried to take her 10days, SpermGrandHag ran off with SS and was nowhere to be found. So, contempt motions were filed, the SpermGrandHag got her ass chewed in court, and nothing happened because SS was returned to DW at the end of the Summer 5wks. SpermGrandHag won that battle any time it was fought. Though her tears of embarrassment at having her ass bared in court did provide me with some solace.
Winter alternated Even and Odd years. Even years it was from the day school was out until Dec 24. Odd years it was Dec 26 until the day before school started. Due to the the school schedule Even years would occassionally only provide a couple of visitation days. As travel was on SpermClan time, they often would forego Even year visitations.
My DW made sure that it was fully known in Court that the SpermClan did not celebrate Christmas and were generational members of a Christian fringe denomination that vehemantly disavowed celebrating Christmas. So, Dec 25 was DW's permanently from the initial CO. The Hag did try to play the tearful guilt card about them never having SS for Christmas. To which my DW reminded her that she did not believe in or celebrate Christmas and to do so could get her Excommunicated.
Well played my Dear!
Spring was from the day school was out for Spring break until the day before school started.
This visitation schedule was ordered by the Judge totally at the Judge's discretion. Which in hind site was brilliant on the Robed wonder's part. Not much else about that Dipshit on the bench was brilliant in the least. But the visitation order certainly was.
There was none of this "let the kid decide" idiocy.
smh
Im in the middle
But going from the fact that she had a try at it the previous Christmas, and made kiddo feel guilty about his decision, Id say she WAS the A$$.
But kid doesnt "like the food", and doesnt want to help "entertain younger kids". Well that made him sound kinda like hes spoiled bratola.
Doesn't like the food ---
Doesn't like the food --- maybe mom should have contributed something to the food that she knew her kid would eat. Many families (mine included) have certain foods they always eat on a holiday. Maybe the kid missed that.
Doesn't want to help entertain. Is kid a family member or an unpaid babysitter? He should have been able to socialize with other kids his age (if there were any). Most adults don't hand over their phones to kids they just met. Why should this kid? If the hosts wanted their young relatives to watch a movie, it was their responsibility to provide a suitable screen.
None of this ultimately matters. The kid spent last year with mom. This year he wants to, and should, spend it with dad.
Is a stepparent a "bratola"
Is a stepparent a "bratola" if they would rather spend the holidays with their own family versus with their in-laws or stepkids? Especially if they were expected to eat food they don't like or entertain other people during what is supposed to be their holiday celebration, too? And especially when they don't feel they are being treated as equally as the others in the family? I would assume no.
My quote
"Well that made him sound kinda like hes spoiled bratola."
Meaning it made him SOUND like he was using trivial things to build a case against spending the holidays with his mother and stepfather. Like she was trying to find reasons why hes being ridiculous.
Its possible to see this from many different angles.
Ultimately she is the A$$hole.
This is how our HCBM is. DH's
This is how our HCBM is. DH's initial CO didn't outline holidays so BM refused to allow DH to have a single holiday, stating that SS needed consistent traditions and since she had him every day since birth (she wouldn't allow DH overnights), she needed to stay with him for holidays until he was older. When BM moved out of state in 2017, we set a holiday schedule, alternating Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring Break/Easter. Of course, BM ensured she got the first Christmas rotation even though she had had every Christmas for 5 years.
SS is almost 11 and we have only had him for 2 Christmases and one of the Christmases involved an emergency court injunction to the tune of $3k in legal fees because three weeks before Christmas, BM changed her mind and was refusing to exchange SS as court ordered for our Christmas break visitation and we had a vacation already planned and paid for during that time. BM cited a "Christmas party" that SS wanted to go to the day of pick up. The judge ordered that SS could attend half the party, delaying our departure, but that BM had to hand him over after that.... We discovered a week later that the party was at BM's GF's office... It was an adult work party. Oh and the judge told BM to provide SS to us at 10 a.m. but no later than 15 minutes past... She brought him out at 10:14.
Our BM is absolutely the type that would demand every holiday if she had the chance and she always makes sure to try to ruin the holidays when we have him. She usually does the major PAS brainwashing before holiday visits.
Of course she is the AH. SHe
Of course she is the AH. SHe had kid last year, it's dad's turn. Who cares about the reasons why the kid wants to spend it with dad. She is selfish and is only thinking about herself. Unfortuately after divorce, you split your holiday's- plain and simple. You don't get every single one becasue "i'M tHe MoTheR!"
I hate the whole...
"OMG..I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MY BABY AT...<insert holiday sesason> mentality some women have.
I purposly wrote my custody agreement so that it would alternate every year....and I survived not seeing my kids on Christmas every other year..or on Thanksgiving or Easter....etc.
Like uhm...how do you think its going to work when they become adults....they still gonna be sleeping in jammies and hoping for Santa at your house. So suck it up and learn to deal.
I think even if DAd had asked before the kid told her..the answer still would have been no.