Crazy is really crazy'ing this week
So DH called me yesterday from work, sounding like he had lost the will to live. SD13's school had emailed him asking him to call the principal on his direct line. Apparently SD had another incident at school (last time she was here he got called also), this time her and this boy who she has a love/hate relationship with got into it- she started it, he grabbed her wrist and wouldn't let go, she bent his finger back, he pushed her into a wall...walked away, came back and pushed her into the wall again, hitting her head pretty hard. She reported it. The principal said they handled it at school with SD and the boy, talked it out, etc. DH said that there would also be a punishment at home for her involvement. DH said she should give me her phone when she got home, for an undetermined amount of time.
SD walks in, hands me her phone, and goes upstairs. At that very second Crazy was texting her, so I saw it- It was all "We never should have sent you to this horrible school", and "how is your head? Do you need to go to the Dr.? Are you sure your head is ok?", and when SD said she had to give her phone to me, Crazy said, "Great. You probably won't have your phone all week. Tell your dad you NEED YOUR PHONE NEXT TO YOU AT ALL TIMES for your heart app!!". (SD has a pacemaker and there is an app on her phone that the pacemaker downloads to). The phone only has to be near SD occasionally. SD said, it's just an app, it won't matter. Crazy said, "I'm going to call your cardiologist then! I will be sending your dad a message". SD said, Whatever, you guys can argue about it. So essentially, Crazy is just upset at this other kid, and doesn't think SD should have any repurcussions. I just hate that mentality- it's always someone else's fault.
I went to SD's room and asked SD her version of events. It was about the same, but she always tries to pass blame and not take responsibility. I told her she should probably think about her approach before she talked to DH, cause that wouldn't fly. Then she started complaining about Crazy, saying that when Crazy was on speakerphone with the Principal, with SD in the room, Crazy cut the Principal off mid-sentence and started screaming at him that they were worthless, they never do anything, and the teachers there suck, and just kept screaming. SD was embarrassed. I told her she should have just reached over and *click*. *biggrin* SD said at least Dad said we would discuss it later and was calm. Crazy went on and on in her texts about how she should send her to her old school (which SD didn't like and where she was treated like an outcast), and Crazy hated that school too! SD said, she didn't like my old school, now she doesn't like this one and wants me to go back to the other one? It doesn't make sense! Which...I don't even know what to say to that, because "your mom is insane" is probably not the right response. But we did end up having a really good talk about life in general, religion, books, credit scores, lol, and she told me she shaved "down there" because it was "driving her nuts". *ROFL*
DH sent me a screenshot shortly after of the message Crazy sent on OFW. It said "SD hit her head, and needs her phone to be next to her for the app". DH said, We are monitoring her head, and she will have her phone with her at school so the app can download. Crazy said, I knew you would say that, you don't care about SD's heart, so I just called the Cardiologist. *dash1*
You are going to tattle to the cardiologist?? What are you going to say?? "My ex-husband punished my daughter by taking her phone away and I don't like it so can you tell him not to?".
I'm so embarrassed for her, like I can just imagine what the people that deal with her think. I hate the term Karen, but man if it applies to someone....she just tries to escalate every situation into the biggest deal she can. She screamed at the Principal, tried to get SD to go to the Dr., and somehow managed to get the Cardiologist involved.
In other news, SS16 text me that he got accepted into a college program/class he applied to through his high school. It was pretty competitive, with applicants from all over the state. He gets to take a college Astronomy class (what he wants to major in) at the State University, paid for by the school, he gets college credits for it, and it will be helpful for his acceptance into college. Pretty exciting!
DH said it best when we found out- Ahh, if it isn't the roller-coaster of emotions of being a parent.... I laughed and said, I'm not sure who thought it would be a good idea to have 2 teens at once, cause man, this is something....
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When you told SD to just hang
When you told SD to just hang up on BM, YES!
Way back when DH and I were first dating BM would call and scream and cry and rant and rave. DH would just sit and listen to her, when she'd stop for breath he'd try to answer and she'd just scream some more. I took his phone and hung up on her, I told him, You have the power here, not her. You do not have to listen to her anymore.
At first he was horrified, all he could think about was how angry she was going to be, and oh boy was she ever! She'd call back and he just didn't answer. we erased the messages without even listening to them. It took him a while to realize that there really wasn't anything he could do other that speak calmly to him because he would just hang up on her. All her power was in his fear of her anger.
Then she started crying. But only when the skids were with her, she'd say things like, Why are you talking to me like that, why are you being so mean to me? DH wasn't saying anything to her and the skids could hear that he wasn't even speaking (old cell phones were really bad for that). The skids called her out on that one!
I guess what I'm saying is that SD should definitly hang up everytime BM becomes abusive. BM will learn pretty quickly that it isn't getting her anywhere.
Yep!
This is exactly how it was when I first started dating DH! Crazy would just rant and rave over text and on the phone. Calling incessantly. CONSTANTLY texting. I almost ended the relationship with DH because of it and told him this could not continue, I just couldn't handle the constant intrusions of a crazy person sending nasty messages and phone calls. He finally blocked her and we got OFW, which really helped things. Although for many years she would send messages stating skids hated me, hated living with me....when we would ask them if that was true, they would be obviously confused, and I heard SD yell at Crazy on the phone "We never said that, we like TrueNorth!!". lol.
Hoping SD will realize she can hang up on her mom and not listen to the crap she spews. She is so manipulative though, she love bombs them, and then one day will tell SD she is the reason she doesn't have a BF and that SD ruins everything, skids are so expensive that they caused her to get an ulcer and she had to buy a $10K pill to get rid of it, so now she's in debt paying off that loan (there is no such thing as an ulcer pill)...it's all just craziness, but SD loves her mom so much she (mostly) takes it.
Enough drama, BM?
These drama llamas make life so difficult. Sigh....
.
It's exhausting
Then she stirred the pot even more by telling SS16 the story that night at like 11pm, but of course skewing it so SD was just the victim. SS stormed into SD's room at 11pm, turned on the light even though she was sleeping, and demanded the name of this kid. SD wouldn't tell him at first, SS promised he wouldn't do anything so SD told him. Seconds later DH got home from work and SS started texting DH from his room "Someone pushed my sister?? I'm going to kill him! Karma is going to get him!", and then sent a Pic of this kid and his FAMILY to DH. DH just looked at his phone and sighed and said, I have to go upstairs and talk to Thug life, he's threatening to beat this kid up. I heard him open SS's door and loudly tell him to calm down NOW, heard SS say he wanted to punch this kid in the "f*cking face", DH told SS he's not going to do anything, not going to text this kid, talk to him, or do anything.
I just walked past and went to bed, because FFS.
IT sounds as if you and DH have a connection with SD.
Heck, this young woman is talking land scaping with you while highlighting her mother's juvenine crap.
You and DH are doing something right. SD is communicating and SS is accepted to a competitive university level astronomy class at 16.
I bet Crazy is losing her shit over all of this. On some level she has to realize that in this entire blended family adventure she is the only juvenile.
Great job True, DH, SS and even SD.
Why thank you! The whole SM
Why thank you! The whole SM shebang sucks but I do think we are doing something right at least....