parent into this kind of crap would have gone over like a fart in church.  Now.... it seems that parents have some lack of spine and let their kidult spawn suck them dry of resources.

There isn't a snowball's chance in hell that I would get away with this.  I wouldn't even ask.  Neither woudl my SKid, he knows better.

Too bad so many people who had no business breeding in the first place never figured out how to raise their mistake children to be viable adults.

smh

I'll tell you what's wrong! Parents put their children first wayyy too much. I argue with my wife all the time about this. They want to listen to their kids music in the cars, always cater to their children, make sure that their wittle feelings don't get hurt. This is why my ss is a brat now. For instance, we let him buy a pet. I told my wife we are not touching the pet in any shape form or fashion. I caught my wife helping with the pet and she says, "I know what we said but he needs help." Yeah, that's why he's so immature because all YOU do is help him! When I was a kid, I was dressing myself, feeding myself, and walking to the bus stop alone! SS is ten and we live in a great neighborhood and his mom loses her shit if she cannot hold his hand home. It's the new generation parenting. Kid first, until kid becomes a teenager and doesn't want to hangout anymore and thennnnnn your spouse wants to put you first. 

I have a similar story to Rags. DD22 (16 at the time), got caught looking at her phone in class way too many times. She was late for classes and teachers would threaten to lock late kids out but never followed through. DH and I had no clue because the school was too afraid to call us because they always got the blame from parents. I attended a Meet the Teacher night and was given bullshit lip service but I sensed that something was going on. I told every one of DD's teachers to give it to me straight and they finally told me what a disruptive, phone addicted, late arriving brat DD was. I informed the teachers that DH and I were confiscating the phone, checking nightly on her HW and exchanging daily emails with her teachers. I told the teachers that DH and I will do our parts, but to feel free to do theirs. Lock DD out of class when she's late. 
 

We only needed to confiscate DD's phone for one semester. It's her currency, so taking her phone worked for her. We told her that we instructed the teachers to take her phone and we'll stand by the teachers if they have to do so. DD stopped being late when a teacher locked her classroom door and DD missed a major exam causing her to fail the class. DD freaked and blamed the teacher. In a meeting with the teacher, DD and DH and I, I told DD that it was not the teacher who caused DD to miss her exam. I told DD "YOU were the one who was late." Afterwards the teacher said that she had never seen a parent put the onus on their kid before.

Today, DD is graduating with her degree with straight As and zero student loan debt. She actually thanks me for setting her straight.
 

I made sure to raise DD very differently from my SKs because DH told me that when he was awarded joint custody his lawyer told him to make sure that the SKs never experience any frustration or discomfort whatsoever or he could lose the SKs to BM at the drop of a hat. DH doesn't really like to say very often but he didn't want DD to turn out like the SKs.

This might offend some and that is certainly not my intent, but I mostly blame the parents.  I watched in real time as my ex husband coddled his adult son to no end, making sure he was never unhappy or without something he wanted.  In doing so, he essentially crippled his son from ever becoming an independent adult.  His manchild is unable to manage even the smallest responsibilities.  My ex set no boundaries, consequences or expectations for his son - he was worried his son would "get mad and leave" or "be upset" if any expectations, boundaries, etc, were set.  Before I left the marriage, this 21 yo man was still unable/unwilling to do his laundry, cook for himself and he never cleaned his room (had ants and other assorted bugs in there because of the filth).  Daddeee would serve him his food at the table like he was a king - like make his plate up and bring it to him at the table.  He always gave his son the largest portions of food, like he was going to starve or something.  He also was like a toddler in that his daddeeee had to remind him every night to brush his teeth.  He also never made it to work on time when he was employed, which was sporadic at best.  He had lost multiple jobs due to his attendance.  At the time I left, this 21 yo was complaining about working 8-10/hrs a week (this after being unemployed for a full 18 months).  He also had a habit of stealing when he was somewhat younger, he lies (that continued up until the day I left) and he has no consideration for anyone else, it's all about what he wants.  The situation was truly sick. 

I'm trying to imagine what it will be like when they get married to someone who acts like they do.  I'm sure they will make all sorts of expectations of their parents, but what happens when the parents are no longer around to take care of them?  It's going to be a rude awakening.

I've known many people my own age who were raised like that.  They were accommodated so much during childhood and as young adults that they didn't think they had to work for anything, and today they are struggling.  This has been going on for a long time, just not at the scale it is today.  No wonder we have a shortage of teachers!

Thats all I see with respect to Skids.

Just on all fronts. Its the parenting - pure and simple.

Sucks! My SD21 got married when she was 6 months pregnant (SKG is almost 2) to a boy a year younger than her.  They started out living with his family,  then moved in with BM. The boy-husband hasn't held a job  and has been unemployed for well over 6 months. SD21 had a gotten a part time job and kept it for a couple of months, but quit because she is pregnant again and didn't feel she should be stocking shelves. I told her to ask her doctor and get a note for any restrictions,  but she said her manager was just mean (she probably just wanted responsible employees who show up when they're scheduled to work). Boy-husband doesn't do child care for his own child so BM picks up all thr slack. SD21 doesn't clean up, either very much,  so there's that,  too.  I feel sorry for BM, but she's allowing this to happen.  

My kids have been told what's expected of them and of they fail, they ultimately fail themselves. 

Failed spawn... parents are primarily at fault.  Parents who suck so bad at being parents that their spawn suck at life and suck as people.  Not a difficult concept.

Successful spawn...... parents are primarily at fault.  Parents who are rational, understand that their spawn are only special if they perform at special levels raised with standards of behavior and performance.  Not a difficult concept.

What is most confusing to me is SParents who invest nearly incessently in accepting excuses for their failed parent mates and even invest nearly incessently in fabricating "reasons" for their mates abject failure as a parent when there are no reasons, only exuses. Then even worse, making excuses for the behaviors that these failed parents have fabricated in their children.

A mistake I understand. Repeating that mistake over, and over, and over again I do not understand. Tolerating that in a mate or their prior relationship children. I do not understand.

I don't get it.  Never have, likely never will.

As a teacher of elmentary through high school teacher, I can say that I see the beginning and have seen the aftermath of NOT launching kids and giving them responsibility both financially and physically. Very few kids mow lawns or shovel snow anymore. Very few kids help around the house and know how to cook, do dishes, clean, bake, do laundry, all the essential items that allow you to be an adult. And then the parents feel bad for the kids after they have coddled the sh$t out of them and allow them to live at home an live off their parents with no plan to move out and become independent. I have seen this through teaching and in my own home (which is why I am leaving among other reasons). Parents are working themselves to death, riddled with stress, so they can coddle their grown babies. These kids finally go out into the working world and cant do anything, nor do they have a stitch of common sense or street smarts between their ears. No one wants to do a trade anymore because there is very little work ethic. Anyone who becomes an electrician, carpenter, plumber, etc... will now make bank if they are ambitious enough because no one wants those jobs that are labor intensive. It's very sad, frustrating, and sometimes infuriating that it has come to this

A: Shitty parents.