High School Graduation - What would you do
SS is set to graduate HS this year.
Now after years of reading horror stories from multiple site like this, I've been probably overally aware/prepared for this probable issue.
DH contacted the parent organization person for this year's graduating class. He inquired about how grad tix are handled. According to to them, if graduation is held outside the graduate is provided 6 tickets. If inside, 4 tickets. They are given to the graduate the morning of graduation at the practice/run through.
Now, we are not local and will be flying in for this blessed event. When DH asked about having his tickets mailed since we are traveling the corridnator for the class refered him to the secretary of the school as she handles disbursal.
DH has sent two emails. 1 on the 10th of Jan and another on the 24th of Jan. He has received no response. It is difficult to call with his work schedule, but he also specifically wants whatever response to be in writing as he assumes this is going to be a debacle.
We know with the games HCBM plays he will be lucky to get a ticket. I'm fine to sit outside and wait as long as DH gets to go.
What would ST do in this situation. I don't think it is too early to address this especially since we have to make travel plans, etc.
Now the easy answer would be talk to SS but as some of us know in these situations we know the Skids are governered harshly by the other parent as is in this case.
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I would give the secretary a
I would give the secretary a call yourself and let her know that your husband's work makes a phone call hard, but just checking to make sure she received the email. If you don't get anywhere there, I would reach out to the principal directly. I don't think its too early to start planning for this either, we will be in the same boat next year.
No way I'm calling. Whatever
No way I'm calling. Whatever answer she gave me other than "of course I'll send tickets to your husband" would be left to he said she said status.If we are going up the chain, DH will want her answer in writing so there is not " oh your wife must have misunderstood" kinda crap.
Well even if you couldnt
Well even if you couldnt attend the actual ceremony wouldnt your husband still want to go to see his son before and/or after the graduation ceremony?
In theory of course, but
In theory of course, but there is no guarantee he would see him before or after as HCBM will be having a party for him and have him locked down getting ready before hand. And she would never invite his actual dad to the party....that just would make too much common sense and be putting the kid before herself.
He wants to see his son
He wants to see his son graduate.. not just see his son on the day he graduates. If his son is like me, I couldn't wait to go celebrate with my friends when we were through with the ceremony! They are going a long distance to be there for the ceremony.. if it were just about congratulating him, he could visit at a different time completely. His kid graduates once from HS so, I can see why he wants to be sure he can actually attend.
At this point, with two
At this point, with two unanswered emails.. I would go up the food chain and hit up a higher ranked administrator.. principal or asst principal.
I would just lay it out. I am a graduate's father coming in from out of town. Because he can't guarantee that his EX will reserve or provide him a ticket, he wants to be sure that the school will honor his right to be admitted to the graduation. So, again, is it possible to have a ticket sent in advance (can be reduced from what they give SS at the hand out date).. OR.. who can he speak to on the day of graduation to guaranty he will be admitted if his EX witholds tickets. He can say, he sympathizes with the schools that get put in between these situations, unfortunately, he has no choice but to contact them directly to guaranty he is not excluded. That there is only one chance to watch his child graduate and doesn't want to leave it to chance at the last minute for him to be able to attend.
Thank you - I think that
Thank you - I think that makes the most sense. DH has been patient with covid protocols the school is dealing with and of course winter weather but I think it's been enough time for some sort of response.
Agree with go up the
Agree with go up the authority chain. While the secretary may be in charge of handing out tickets, she/he most likely does not have the authority to mail tickets to dad. There may even be a directive in place that she/he is not to respond to parent inquiries about tickets.
DH, while its inconvenient, is going to have to make a phone call (or a few calls) to get to the person who has the authority to get him a ticket from the individual student allotment. He can then follow up with an email summarizing the conversation.
I agree with this. You should
I agree with this. You should be able to get principles email on school website(?) and hopefully the tickets can be mailed to you. I had a graduation issue last year with SS18. I blogged the play play. We have SS17s this year too.
When BM and I had are falling out which lead to court 4 years ago one of the first things she did was call the schools and have me erased from contact lists.
She made herself look insane to the schools and the vice pronciple of the high school told SO if he has any other problems to go to him because he wasn't going to allow BM to get her way basically.
In our experience, some
In our experience, some schools are just not responsive to a NCP, especially if the HCBM is a "frequent visitor" to their office for issues related to skids. Our HCBM is on a first name basis with the school counselor and always has a problem with at least one teacher.
We will probably be facing a similar situation even though we won't have to travel and honestly, my approach will just be to mentally prepare himself to miss the event. The only thing that will help us will be that my SSs are twins, so there will be twice as many tickets...but I'm sure BM will view them as "hers" and find any number of relatives and friends who just "must" have a ticket.
I agree with contacting
I agree with contacting administration but i also wouldn't be so quick to rule out asking SS directly to save a ticket. Most high school graduates are 18-year-old young adults.
"Hey Son, it's Dad. I want to come see you graduate. Can you save me a ticket? I'd also appreciate one for my wife, but if you can only get one, I understand."
SS is growing up. Do you want to be going through this with college, wedding, grandkids, etc., forever? Ideally, your DH can start communicating with his son directly without going through BM. Now's a good time to start.