Its been a hot minute since I've been on. 

5/28 I posted about my mom being on hospice and my sister's cancer dx timeline being shortened. Thank you all for your replies at the time. I'm sorry I did not get back to everyone, my sister passed on 6/11 at 46 years old.

Mom is still doing pretty well on hospice, so we feel lucky in that sense.

My sister passed on a Tuesday. SD arrived Friday for her abbreviated Summer visit with my husband who had recently changed jobs and was working nights.The timing was ..... at first I thought dreadful. It ended up being a welcomed distraction from my grief as much as it could be.

3 weeks with SD flew by. I found myself searching for the next distraction once she was gone and luckily my husband went back to day shift. 

Next weekend is my sister's birthday (1st heavenly b'day). We are renting a beach house for the weekend with a butterfly release and just a chill vibe with friends and family dropping in and out during the weekend for food/drinks etc.

We don't have SD again until Christmas. My sister's death has certainly had an effect on me in many ways. As far as blended life, suddenly nothing seems as important. Neither my husband nor I have fight left in us it seems . SD doesn't return a call, oh well. SD doesn't send a 1st day of school pic even after being asked ahead of time...oh well. In a way I think I'm still numb and I know for sure I haven't processed it....I'm all about distracting myself from the ugliness and last week memories in the hospital with my sister. Nothing else really matters as much as it did before if that makes sense. I guess in a way its a good thing. I've released a lot of useless time and energy spent on people that don't seem to think about us as much as we do them. 

Sorry for the meandering thoughts. I hope everyone had a better Summer and Step life is making at least incremental improvements for you.