All stepmoms are evil
My sister has just gotten divorced from her husband of 15 years. He had a two year old when he met her. They went to court over parental alienation from his first wife several times. Her divorce is finalized now, and her SD has blocked her on all social media.
She said she expected it, even though all she'd done for her SD. I photographed my sister's wedding and did a separate portrait session with her SD. Her SD's mom didn't want the photos.
She said to me today that all stepmothers are (thought of as) evil. My SO's oldest daughter doesn't want me around. I made dinners, bought clothes, took them out to the beach for the first time. But I'm evil too.
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She can grieve
Grieve the relationships and try to move forward.
Very very sad. I feel it too. The feeling of having wasted all that time and emotion on someone, tiems two (for the ex and SD).
Either we are evil or not considered at all...
Yeah, I guessed from the
Yeah, I guessed from the beginning that I would remain an outsider so I've been careful with my emotional investment. My SD told me recently that she didn't love me and I just shrugged and said "that's okay." So much is expected out of SM's and nothing is given in return.
I did a lot for AdultSkid for
I did a lot for AdultSkid for years only to be thrown under the bus like trash. I'd rather be maligned as the evil wife of Daddy than to debase and degrade myself again only to be still labeled as such.
We all try so hard, but it
We all try so hard, but it doesn't matter. My MIL said she couldn't understand why SO would raise mannerless children. I just said there's nothing we can do.
I know my inlaws know and very well see my husband
The good antured person he is, that he's been taken for a ride by the exwife and the skids who all inherited her traits to varying degrees. None of the skids inherited any of their dads traits, hardworking, honest, compassionate.
my husband once helped cosign a lease for a staff of his (a single mum) just so she could get back on her feet and never expected anything in return (my husband has a good paying job) but consideration is something foreign in the skids vocabulary.
skids from dysfunctional batshit crazy hcgubm rarely if ever adjust well and change. They'd rather manipulate and play the whole poor child of divorce instead of seeing there is another stepparent to help guide me through life and we can build a mutual harmonious relationship, instead it's usually i'd rather be a selfish rude a-hole.
my eldest sd was about 22.5 and chucked a whole sob story daddy guilt tripping him for marrying me and having 2 kids with me (aka replacing them with our 2 kids and their mum with me). Fyi sd's ended contact with dad for over 5+ yrs and expected daddy be pining and waiting for them putting his whole life on hold. Instead he found someone who loved him and had 2 kids with her. As for batshit crazy hcgubm, she was and still is a scheming abusive narcissistic pos who cons people and steals from them and sd's try to paint her as the completely innocent victim.
After hubby told me what eldest sd said and attacking me and our 2 kids that way, i was done being accommodating or open to any relationship with any of the skids. My 2 kids just love making friends with others, complete opposite of skids.
my ils often come to me in private to bring up the skids. My sil said its such a shame how they all turned out. Honestly if you lined up my 2 kids with feral 3skids, you couldn't possibly see how they're related in any way and the only reason my 2 are pleasant is because they have a mum who is strict and doesn't tolerate bad behaviour. I have high standards and basic behavioural expectations off my kids just like my parents had of me growing up
Different Values and Different Standards
Im finding this is what is creating conflicts in my situation. Best to disengage.
Hcgubm do not have basic standards with their kids
Its all about keeping up appearances for their friends and family, playing victim when they're the perpetrator, its about manipulation and abuse and controlling everyone around them or inserting themselves into other peoples lives because they have such a grandiose view of themselves.
even my husband said when exwife called his sil, his sister said don't you worry, she won't be trashtalking your wife to me because they all know she can only imagine to be someone like me and can never compare herself to me
So true unfortunately! No
So true unfortunately! No one seems to understand except fellow stepmothers
By contrast
All stepFATHERS are MARVELOUS doncha know
Oh yes!
You got that right.
Cause step fathers get BM's seal of dang approval.
Yes it is
tattooed on their forehead for the skids to see.
And in my skids case stepdad in conjunction with biomum
Made sure to kick out sd when 18 and the younger sister aged 9/10 at the time when they'd all cut off contact with bio dad over lies they knew their mum made and they still sing stepdad praises. Bio mum made sure to drill in to the kids that stepdad (aka affair guy whilst bio mum was married to bio dad) was and is a replacement dad
Can't win
It's a can't win situation because of the dysfunctional birth family dynamics. So best to disengage.
We get all the blame for what
We get all the blame for what was broken before we even got here.
Did you see the Instagram
Did you see the Instagram comments between Lenny Kravitz and Jason Momoa?? Calling each other "brother" and "they do it for family" something like that...
Name a BM that says that about a step parent....highly doubtful!!
Hello!
Hello fellow evil step moms! Yes we are all awful people aren't we? I helped raise my SS and what did I get for it? In the words of Barney Fife " Heartache! Nothing but heartache!". Lying Little Ingrate I think had a problem with me as a child. I didn't let him run over me like he did the other women in his life. Strike 1 for me. I set boundaries with MIL later on concerning my bios, which in turn caused his wife to decide I was evil for that too. Strike 2. I had a problem with his wife telling lies just to cause problems because I set boundaries with MIL. I refused to play pretend happy family with them while they slighted me in small ways. Strike 3, stick a fork in me. Bye bye Lying Little Ingrate and Mrs. Two Faced Liar! Have a great life....somewhere else! I really don't wish any bad on them. I just want them to stay away from me and my family. It's more peaceful since I don't have to deal with them.