Partners 17 year old son that I reqlly dislike
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Hey,
I just need to vent really. My partners 17 year old son I actively despise and I feel bad about it.
Reasons are:
- At sixth form, barley ever needs to go, next to no work to do at home. Sits around doing nothing getting fatter by the day.
- Doesn't go out with friends, stays at home all the time. Won't leave his mother's side. Same at his Dad's from what I get told. Literally follows her, stands behind her talking nonsense.
- If we have friends round he is so scared of missing out he will keep closer than our young kids.
- Local pub offered him a job, I was reqlly against it.but he now works there so even our free time we can't get rid of him. To make things worse they all tell him he is a legend and such a great guy.
- I bought him a car, me and mum gave it as a present. Not one thank you but Mum says he gushes her with thanks.
- Earns money at the pub but still asks mum for a few quid and she gives him it.
- Wants to go to Uni for the "Uni Experience" has no idea what he wants to do, so scared of moving away wants to go local, wants us to pay. (Wpuld have no problem helping if it was for a purpose.)
- Argues like a small child with his sister at the dinner table. Runs in and out of her bedroom annoying her like a child.
- No common sense or even sense.
- Lazy, won't help round the house at all.
- Takes over the TV.
- Will only wear designer clothes.
- Scared of everything and I mean everything. Screams like a little girl. This really annoys me as I swear it's put on.
Sorry to rant, like I say just need to vent and so scared he will never move out when the time comes lol
Cheers
Umm, his sister is 14, right?
Umm, his sister is 14, right? Why is he being allowed to barge in on her? Give her a key so she can lock her PITA brother out of her space. At 14, it's time she got a bit of privacy.
Agreed
Hi, totally agree a.nd she does have a lock.
I just wish I could disengage but I can't. He is literally a waste of space. Mum and Dad think he is the dogs whatsits and his sister is the one who won't go far. I totally disagree, she has far more about her with none of the world owes me a living I'm the best nonsense he seems to have in his head.
Launch plan?
Have you and mom discussed any kind of launch plan for him? Sounds like no but just the conversation would help. You know, like launching out of your home. I dont hear you saying much about mom's outlook on this. Search "launch" on this site and you will learn a lot. Good luck.
Apart from that she is
Apart from that she is starting to find him really boring she honestly thinks the son signs out of his you know. I will have a search. Never heard of a launch plan. Thank you.
The Burning Platform
Search for that, too, it's by contributor Rags. It's about reducing amenities.
Thanks guys, not sure either
Thanks guys, not sure either will work though, he is still a child in his Mums eyes. Pretty sure will never get rid of him. She sees nothing wrong at all, always ready with excuses for him.
He came home from work last night, all I ask for last person in shuts the gate. For security this really matters. Nope wide open this morning, chairs pulled out and left our, shoes dumped in hallway. Then Mum makes excuses for him.
He is 17. Am I asking too much? Is he still a child mentally? I don't know. But at 17 I was working and when not working I helped with hedge cutting and stuff I went out and saw friends.
Let's look at the positives.
Let's look at the positives. He has a job! And he wants to go to uni so it sounds possible he could leave home and is interested in doing something with his life. Many people just go to uni for the experience and not really know what the end goal is - I'm almost 45 and still unsure!
If you want him out, I'd support the uni plan with lots of enthusiasm and celebrate his desire to do something brave. Little nudges of encouragement towards the door sound like they could be effective for this young adult.
good luck
Thanks for the reply. I do
Thanks for the reply. I do agree with you. Only issue is he doesn't want to go away from home. Wants to go to local University and come home each day. With the amount of work friends kids do at home or halls I think he could be around alot.
Let him do this only on
Let him do this only on condition that he pends all his free time in the uni library studying ... right up until closing time. Heh, that way he gets the full uni experience! lol
Truth be told, there's no way he'd ever get the full uni experience if he's living at home with daddy. When's he ever going to mingle?
Couldn't agree more. To be
Couldn't agree more. To be honest I wouldn't mind but unless he changes he does no work at home for A Levels even though he is meant too. He just sleeps then gets up and either sits watching TV and eating or stands and with his mum and just watches her.
My worry with the mingling if he stays at home and goes to a local Uni is that he will want picking up from 20 miles away late at night and his parents will just do it. Plus the money.
So what's the plan b? He's
So what's the plan b? He's not going to get in to uni with no a levels and if he doesn't work for them, well ... the chances are slim he'll pass. So then what?
I'm pretty confident he will
I'm pretty confident he will pass. The lad always pulls it out of the hat with education. Just life he is a pain with
Certainly no plan b. He thinks most jobs are beneath him. Most